


Reluctant Heroes

by arianaybiatch (Harlecat)



Series: Reluctant Heroes [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Depression, Gross Dead Bodies, Insanity, Mild Gore, Multi, Other, PlotPlotPlotPlotMORE, Slow Build, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, The Basement (dramatic music plays), Titan Shifters, War, very plot, very slow build
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-17
Updated: 2016-07-07
Packaged: 2018-03-13 10:08:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 29
Words: 50,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3377555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Harlecat/pseuds/arianaybiatch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a tragic loss, Levi is arrested for a murder he didn't commit. Petra and Hange have Jean and his gang play investigators at the possibility that there might be more shifters hiding among the 104th. Everything gets turned on its head, unlikely allegiances are formed, and they set off on yet another expedition, all for the godforsaken basement.</p><p>And then things really go to shit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Before

**Author's Note:**

> Really, this is just a prologue.

It was raining blood.

Another drop fell, hitting Levi on the cheek. He stared up and into the dark, unseeing eyes of the man caught in the treetop.

“Captain!”

Levi blinked once, and the red came down.

Hooves came thundering by, someone grabbed Levi from behind, and his head collided with strong shoulders.

“Eungh! Why’s your face all we-” Eren turned to look back at Levi. “Is that _blood_?”

Levi scowled at Eren, raising an eyebrow before shooting up into the air. From behind them came stomping sounds, and the Female Titan came into view. She lunged forward. Eren leapt off his horse and into the air with Levi.

“Pay more attention!” Levi snapped.

“Oh, _I_ need to pay more attent-” he broke off into scream and did an ungraceful twirl in midair to avoid being grabbed. “But seriously, I’m not kidding, quit zoning ou-” He shrieked and spun again. This was getting annoying.

“We can take care of her!” came a shout from behind. “Get Eren to safety!”

The shout had come from Oluo. Levi glanced back, just in time to see the Titan’s hand grab ahold of his arm. She moved as if to throw him, neglecting to let go of his arm, but his body still separated and went flying. He collided with a tree, making a sickening crunch. Levi’s stomach clenched. Eren shouted something incomprehensive and went streaking through the air towards the Female Titan.

What followed next was a rapid blur of movement, as Levi barrelled through the air towards them. There was a flash of blood and Eren landed clumsily on the ground.

_“Now_ ,” he shouted, landing neatly on the ground next to him. His arm, for the time being, didn’t seem to be present. He began to loudly curse the Titan.

“Got it! Petra, distract her!”

The Female Titan lifted her hand. He swung to avoid her hand and stumbled onto a tree branch. Before he could react, she’d grabbed him with both hands and torn him apart.

“Eren, stay here.”

“Yeah!” he shouted, pointing at his bloodied, half-arm. “Like I’m gonna _go_ anywhere?!”

Levi rose up into the sky. There was a shriek and Eld was promptly decapitated.

It was raining blood. Wind rushed by him.

“Corporal!” Levi blinked.

“See?!” Eren yelled from the ground. “Stop zoning out!”

He was pretty useless, so he was really one to talk.

“Are you alright?” Petra asked, holding tightly onto him.

“Fine,” he jerked away from her and shot his own gear into the trees.

“Still stuck down here!” Eren screamed. “Should I do the thing now?”

“Yes- corner her into Hange’s trap, if we can just- dammit!” Levi hit his gear, and plummeted to the ground.

_“Captain!”_ Petra dropped down next to him. “Sir, are you alright?”

“I’m fine, dammit! My gear just-”

“You don’t look fine! _Sir_!”

Levi started to stand. “No, I told you, I’m-” he winced.

“Let’s pull back, sir.”

“No, we have to-”

“Eren! We’re pulling back!”

It took nearly five hours of evasive maneuvers for Levi, Petra, and Eren to get away from the Female Titan. Though the other scouts sent out on the mission were able to capture it, they were not able to injure it in any way and it remained unknown who was inside the skin. The surviving scouts returned home several days later, utterly defeated.

A second attempt to go out into the taken land was planned six months later. In contrast to the first, this plan relied heavily on stealth and size- as opposed to masses of soldiers, less than ten would be going out, and no one was to know of their location, or their activities. The plan’s success relied heavily on the absence of the Female Titan, which was why such a small group set out.

In normal circumstances, this expedition would be huge. After all, lives were at stake.

 


	2. Beginning of the End: Normal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I knew a simple soldier boy
> 
> Who grinned at life in empty joy
> 
> Sept soundly through the lonesome dark
> 
> And whistled early with the lark.
> 
> -“Suicide in the Trenches” by Siegfried Sassoon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm going to apologize in advance

Hange frowned and lifted up the intact arm. They checked for a pulse at the wrist, then lifted it higher and let go. It dropped to the ground.

“Seems pretty dead,” they said.

“But he can’t be _dead_ ,” Petra said. “Right?”

“Well, that’s what I thought too.” Their frown deepened. “But there’s no pulse and his skull’s caved it. It doesn’t really look like he’s alive.”

“Right. But he can’t be _dead._ ”

“Petra, I _know_ he can’t be dead, I heard you the first time, but it really, really doesn’t look like he’s alive, so-”

“But he can’t be-”

“Well then,” Hange snapped. “Petra, why don’t you try getting _your_ skull caved in, hack off your arm, neck, and half your chest, and tell me how _you’re_ feeling?”

Petra gave them a hurt look and Hange immediately looked sorry. Petra bit her lip and looked back at the body.

“But- he can’t- _die_ , can he?”

“I really dunno,” Hange said. “Everyone can die, can’t they? I think he can?”

“But he isn’t regenerating the arm, or his head or-”

“I guess he must be dead,” Hange said blankly, then lifted the arm back up. It fell to the ground, limp. “Or he’s taking a really, really long time.” They leaned closer, and yelled, “Hey Eren, hurry up, would you?!”

His body was, to put it simply, mangled. His neck had been reduced to a bit of skin and muscle. Three quarters of his chest were missing, alongside his right arm, and his head was, for lack of a better term, incomplete with only half of an eye, his nose, and a corner missing from his mouth. As if that weren’t bad enough, he must not have been able to land- what with an entire side of his brain and heart missing- and his hip was a mass of blood and bone.

“I think I might vomit,” Petra said faintly. “... Eren?”

Hange, clearly finding nothing on his arm, went to check his neck. They pulled their hand back, probably realizing why that might not work out. They picked his hand up again.

“Should we- _there_!” Hange pressed down into his palm while Petra looked on in earnest. “It’s there!Haha, _yes_! A pulse! I’m positively, absolutely, completely sure that that’s a _pulse_! He’s gonna-”

A weak noise came from Eren, and Hange’s eyes widened. “Eren! Come on! You can-”

They fell silent. Levi blinked. Eren had begun to regenerate, some of his neck and head growing back, his right shoulder even returning, but he had stopped just as abruptly as he’d begun.

“It’s gone,” Hange said quietly. They moved to the slightly more horrifying side and frowned. “He’s definitely dead.”

Petra turned and walked away on unsteady legs. A few moments later, the sounds of retching could be heard.

“How can you tell?” Levi asked.

“There’s a slice of bone in his brain.” They pointed to his chest. “Probably one in there, too. Maybe even more that I can’t see. When he regenerated, he grew right back around them. His brain and heart are no longer able to function, so he’s dead.”

Petra staggered back next to Levi. “How- how exactly are we going to bring the body back? With the horses all gone-”

“We can’t carry him back,” Levi said. “If we were closer to the gates then maybe, but we lost all the horses and there’s no way we could outrun a Titan carrying him. We’d have to take any we encountered head on. It’s not worth it.”

“But it’s Eren.”

“No, it’s not. It’s a corpse. It is _literal_ dead weight. We aren’t carrying him back.”

“Then, should we bury him?”

“If you want to spend all day digging a hole in a Titan infested area, go right ahead.”

“But it’s _Eren._ We can’t just leave him to get eaten by Titans!”

“We can have a moment of silence, then if you want, we’ll leave him in a tree. Is that good enough?”

Petra looked away. They stood quietly, and there was only the sound of the wind in the trees. Somewhere, a wolf howled, and bird cried out, then it was quiet again.

Hange looked down at Eren, then coughed. Levi looked at her sharply.

“Should I…” They stared down at Eren. “Should, I, er…”

“Out with it?”

“Should I take anything with me?” they asked softly. Petra inhaled loudly.

“I suppose we should bring back his cape and jacket. And his gear, if it isn’t completely demolished. Is there anything you need to test that you haven’t?”

Hange hesitated, then in one fluid motion, pulled out their sword and slashed at Eren’s hip. Petra gasped and Hange bit their lip.

“I’m going to throw up again,” Petra said in a dazed voice, but did not. Hange’s grip on their sword tightened, wavered, and then they slashed again, and once more. They dropped the sword, and it rolled away. They didn’t seem to notice and stared, fixed, at the large slashes they’d made.

Levi frowned, realizing what they were about to do. “Petra,” he instructed. “Look away.”

She glanced up and met his eyes. Hange breathed in deeply, then plunged their hands into the corpse.

Petra let out a muffled shriek and her hands shot up to cover her mouth. Hange found whatever they’d been looking for and pulled out a mass of red.

With their left hand, they felt around on the ground for their sword, and then sliced the mass open.

“Petra,” Levi said. _“I told you to look away.”_

“Sorry, Captain,” she squeaked, but did not.

Breathing heavily, Hange stared at the red in their hands, and then dropped it. The only sounds now was their ragged breathing, Petra’s uneven gasps, and the crying birds.

Hange inhaled, exhaled, then inhaled again.

“He has a normal human kidney,” they said, then picked the sword back up, straddled Eren, and slit him open. They lifted their sword back up over their head and cut again. Then they dropped it to their side and stared down once more. “And normal human organs.”

“Is that all you need?”

Deafening silence.

“He’s dead,” Hange shouted. “He’s dead, he’s dead, he’s-”

“Hange!” Levi interrupted them. They turned to look at Levi with a terrifying expression, eyes wild and mad, cheeks wet and glinting. “I asked if that was all you needed, not for Eren’s status as _alive_ , or _dead!_ I’m already well aware of the answer to _that_!”

Hange sat, frozen, her eyes full of white and trained on Levi’s. An eternity seemed to pass.

Then they stood up sharply, lifted their sword, and shoved it back into it’s case.

“That’s all I need, sir,” they said clearly.

Levi nodded. “Good. Petra, if you need to go and vomit, please go behind the bushes this time. Hange, if you’re completely certain-”

“I am. Sir.”

“Then get his gear off and put him up in the tree where a Titan won’t eat him.”

“What, so some birds can have him instead?”

“I’m fairly sure he would have preferred birds to Titans. Whatever the case, it’s not like we could ask him. Put him in the tree.”

Hange nodded and crouched down to check Eren’s gear. Levi knelt down to remove his cloak. It was stained in blood, and the right side was tattered. Levi folded it as best he could, then removed what remained of his jacket.

“His gear sort of works,” Hange set it down. “It’s fixable, at least.”

“Good enough.”

“I’ll be right back.”

They gathered up the mess that was Eren Jaeger and shot their gear up into the trees. Hange disappeared from view. A moment later they returned. Some red had seeped into their uniform.

“I moved him.”

“So I noticed.” Petra staggered back over, looking dizzy and weak. “Have you recovered?”

“I think so.”

“Let’s head back, then.”

 _“Back?_ That was all for nothing?”

“Do you know his old address?” Levi snapped. Petra shook her head. “Then we head back. Come on.” He and Hange turned and started walking. Levi paused and turned back. She was looking up into the trees. “I said-”

“Who’s going to tell the rest of his trainee squad?”

There was the sound of a large footfall.

“We’ll worry about when we’re back, unless you fancy getting eaten.”

Petra nodded and trailed after him. The wolves howled, and the sky was blue and bright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wasn't this fun
> 
>  
> 
> i'm so sorry


	3. In Memory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Regard your soldiers as your children, and they will follow you into the deepest valleys; look on them as your own beloved sons, and they will stand by you even unto death." -Sun Tzu

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick FYI, I've decided to update this weekly and, the way things are looking now, that's gonna be a lot of weeks.

Levi did not like being asked to sit down. Especially not when he was in the room with someone who was standing up. Being vertically challenged, it tended to end in him needing to assert power with strong, fierce eye contact, and as gifted as he was with _that,_ it was hard to look strong and fierce in anyone’s eyes when they had to bend over to see yours.

“I’d rather stand,” he told Erwin.

“Levi, please sit down.”

It was also hard to look gracious or polite when asked twice, so Levi took a seat in the cushioned chair Erwin kept in front of his desk. Erwin sat down in his own chair. They looked at each other in silence.

“Would you mind clarifying a few things for me?”

“Sure.”

“Thank you. I spoke to Hange about an hour ago. They told me Eren had died. They seemed to be in an emotional state, but you…”

“I know.”

“So could you tell me what they meant by that?”

“Well,” Levi said. “I’d assume that Hange meant Eren was dead.”

“But could you _expand_ on that? Isn’t he able to regenerate?”

“Yes.”

“So how did he die?”

“We were being pursued by several Titans and went to evade them in the forest. We’d been travelling without rest for more than a day, so we set up camp in one of the trees. When we woke up, I found Eren on the ground about a mile away.”

“A _mile_?”

“I have absolutely no idea what he was thinking,” Levi said, looking down at his lap. “Sir.”

“But what happened to him?”

Levi looked up to meet Erwin’s eyes. He coughed. “I can’t be certain. His skull was crushed, and a large portion of his head, neck, and torso were gone. His right arm was a few feet away and his hip was splintered.” Erwin stood and moved to look out his window. Levi coughed again. “I do blame myself, sir, Eren was my responsibility-”

“There’s no need for that,” Erwin said, and Levi fell silent.  He stared at Erwin’s broad shoulders and strong back. There was, once again, no sound at all. There seemed to be an overabundance of silences in Levi’s life. When Erwin finally spoke again, it was an request. “Will you fetch Petra for me? If you think she’s-”

“Of course.” Levi said, and then strung on a _“sir._ ” It was less vindictive than usual. “Er. Sir.”

“Yes?”

“I have his cloak and jacket.”

Erwin turned to look at him. Levi reached into his own cloak and under his straps where he’d been storing it, and held it out. Erwin stared at it, then fixed Levi with an intense blue gaze.

“Did you leave behind his body?”

“Yes. We… we moved it into a tree so it wouldn’t get…” Now that he was explaining this to Erwin, Levi couldn’t help but feel it had been a rather stupid idea. “We’d lost all the horses and I didn’t want to slow us down.”

“Well. I can hardly blame you.”

“We did have a moment of silence,” Levi told him, so Erwin wouldn’t think he was a monster. “Hange… made sure that-”

“Yes, they told me.”

Levi extended the arm with the bloodied cloak in it. Erwin’s stare fell down to it again, and he took it. “Send Petra in, will you?”

Levi nodded and rose, saluting Erwin before leaving his room. He found Petra leaning against the wall outside, relying on it entirely for support.

“He’s ready for you,” Levi said. She straightened, nodded, and curled her fist. “If you’re-”

“I’m fine.”

“Petra, I don’t think-”

“I’m told you,” she repeated hoarsely. “I’m fine.”

“Has anyone told his trainee squad yet?”

“Hange went to find them.” Petra breathed in deeply, and faced the door. “I suppose I’ll see you soon.”

Levi nodded, and then went to track down Hange. He was determined not to be the one forced to tell Ackerman had happened. He would prefer not having to tell Arlert or Kirstein as well. Truth be told, he would prefer not having to speak to anyone, more so than usual. He pulled his coat tightly around him and looked pointedly at the ground in front of him and moved purposefully. _Don’t look at me. Don’t look at me. Don’t-_

A pair of shoulders collided with his and barrelled past. He turned to chastise the culprit and saw glistening black hair and a red scarf. She was moving at a strong, swift pace, and also not looking at anyone.

“Mikasa! Mikasa!”

Arlert came racing past, pausing to turn and nod at Levi before racing to catch up with Mikasa. He stared after the two of them.

“Captain!”

Levi turned and saw Kirstein. He hurried over. “Sir, did you see which way-”

“Left,” Levi said. “If you’re referring to Mikasa and Armin, they went left.”

“Thank you, Captain. Er…” Jean looked down at Levi and he felt entirely out of place. “I’m… sorry, Captain. Really, I-”

“I told you, left,” Levi said, before spinning on his heel and walking away as fast as he could.

Any chance he had of earning any respect from Ackerman had probably disappeared. And his chances with Arlert and Kirstein were pretty damn slim.

Levi collided with something and stumbled forward. “Hey, _hey_!” He looked up. It was Hange. They put their hand on their shoulder and righted Levi. “Carry on like that and you’ll walk into a wall!”

“I see you spoke to them.”

“Oh, yeah.” Hange looked up at the hallway, as if expecting to see them. “She took it pretty well. Almost as good as you.”

Levi raised an eyebrow but Hange did not seem to notice. “She just sort of nodded and then stormed out. I mean, she looked like she wanted to murder somebody, but all things considered- I thought Armin might cry, though.”

“You didn’t get graphic, did you?”

 _“Graphic?_ ” They looked confused, then smiled weakly. “No, I didn’t- why would I-”

“You have a tendency to get… overexcited about things. Things people don’t like to talk about.”

“But _you_ don’t like to talk about anything, shorty.” Hange put their hand on top of Levi’s head. “How you doing, lil buddy?”

“Get off.” He shoved the intrusive hand away. Hange frowned.

“That bad, huh?”

“Captain!”

Levi turned and Armin collided with him. He jumped back.

“I’m sorry-”

“Spit it out.”

“I was just- do you have- um- a key?”

Levi gave him a disdainful look. “You’re going to have to be a bit more specific, Arlert.”

“To, uh, Mikasa’s room? In the dorms? The key? She locked herself in and no one can-”

“Hange?”

“Must be around here somewhere,” they said, and went to the key ring at their belt. They whistled cheerfully as they looked through it. Armin stared at them as though he’d missed something important. “Here we go. Is Mikasa having an emotional breakdown?”

“I-” Armin frowned at Hange, then closed their mouth. “I- I think maybe-”

“Here,” Levi held out his hand. “I’ll go check on her with Arlert, you go…” he searched for something. “Check on Petra.”

“Okay, sure.” Hange tossed him the key and took off down the hall at a brisk pace. Armin stared after her. Levi sighed loudly.

“Don’t worry,” he said. “Hange deals with mental trauma by pretending everything’s fine and acting like a fucking lunatic.”

“O-okay…”

“Where’s Ackerman’s dorm?” Levi tossed the key into his other hand and Armin started off down the hall. He followed a few steps behind. Arlert brought him to one of the dorms farther down the hall, and Levi was a little impressed that Mikasa had managed to walk so far so fast. Armin hurried over and knocked on the door.

“Mikasa? Mikasa?”

There was no response. Armin looked over at Levi. Levi went and unlocked the door.

“There you go. Go hug or kiss or whatever you kids do.”

Armin did not have time to be defensive, and probably could not have mustered it, so he did a strange mix of a bow and a salute before hurrying into the room. Levi started back down the hall. Hopefully Hange hadn’t made Petra cry. No, with luck that’s what they would have done. Hopefully Hange hadn’t made _everyone_ cry, _and_ started a fire.

He located Petra and Hange outside of Erwin’s office. It didn’t look like anyone was crying, or like a fire had begun. He approached them cautiously.

“Tonight,” Hange said cryptically.

“I swear-”

“No,” they said. “I mean, tonight. Literally tonight.”

“Hange. I _just got here._ ”

“The memorial,” Petra said. “We’re going to have it tonight.”

“For Yeager?”

“Well,” Hange thought aloud. “It’s not like we have a bo- a reason to wait,” they corrected, seeing the look Levi gave them.

“Erwin says we’re going to burn the cloak,” Petra told Levi. “Since that’s… you know.” She bit her lip. “But suppose… he isn’t-”

“No,” Hange inturrupted. “His heart stopped. He was-”

“But if he took a long time to regenerate- what if he wakes up, all alone-”

“That is _highly_ unlikely.”

“The way I understand it,” Levi said. “That last time he, how you say, _died,_ he didn’t actually die. This time, he did actually die, which I’d say plays a large factor in whether or not he’d survive.”

“Right.” Petra nodded, then gave Levi an overly sympathetic look. He wanted to punch her in the face. Even Erwin was acting a little nicer than usual, and Levi wanted to strangle him. “Well, it’s going to be tonight, and Erwin says he wants you to speak.”

“He died as he lived,” Levi said. “Obnoxious and disobeying orders.”

Hange and Petra both gave him scathing looks, Petra’s shocked and scandalized, Hange’s clearly saying, _okay, man, whatever helps you cope._

Levi glared at them and excused himself before he really did punch someone.

Clouds had come in over the day, and now they put out the stars. A dark glow gave the moon’s presence away, and ranks stood in front of a stage, frozen in a salute. Levi glanced over at Hange and Petra. They were both looking into the bonfire with unreadable expressions.

Erwin approached the stage, and then walked up and to the center. “At ease,” he said. He had the kind of voice that could be heard from miles away, but that never rose to a yell. Scouts dropped their arms to their sides. Levi let his arms fall.

“Scouts,” Erwin announced. “Some of you might remember the mission launched half a year ago, in which many lives were lost in an attempt to learn more about Titans. A smaller, more compact group went out on a similar mission about a week ago. Today, the survivors returned. There is no easy way to tell you that we gained nothing and lost everything, but I have to.” He stared out into the ground with hard blue eyes. “Some of you knew of Eren Yeager. He was the equivalent of humanity’s secret weapon. He was our only asset against the Titans. The only land gained after years of war. But, Eren was more than that. Some of you knew him as more than the Titan shifter. Some of you trained alongside him. To many of you, he was an ally in battle. A friend. Family, even. It is with a heavy heart that I must tell you, like many before, Eren Yeager is now dead.”

A few of those who had not yet been informed looked shocked, Levi thought he heard an audible gasp. He could pinpoint a few faces in the crowd; most of the cadets Eren had trained with were either looking into the fire with the same soft, stony expressions as Hange and Petra or looking down at their feet.

 _Eren is dead,_ Levi thought.

“To answer what I’m sure is the most imminent question, we are not sure how this happened. Hange?”

Hange nodded and stepped forward. “After making camp in what we assumed was a safe location, I woke up in the early morning and realized Eren- who had been keeping watch- wasn’t there. We went out to look for him and found his body about a mile away. It… was not intact, and bone had been shoved into his brain and heart. He regenerated around it, rendering his body incapable of functioning, and died.”

Levi wondered if Mikasa had come, and scanned the crowd. He easily pinpointed her red scarf. She was standing next to Armin. He could feel a thick cloud of sadness all the way across the field. It threatened to suffocate him. Next to her was Jean, then Connie and Sasha, and next to them was Bertholdt and Reiner. They looked on.

Hange stepped back into place and gave Levi an imploring look. He supposed he was meant to speak now, and moved forward.

“I did not know Eren very well,” he told the trainees and the Scouts that had gathered. “I imagine most of you were closer to him than I ever was. But I did spend a good deal of time with him and would like to he thought as highly of me as I did of him. He was someone who was worthy of my respect, and it’s not often I meet people like that. He was driven with passion and vigor that most of the highest ranking scouts don’t have, and I don’t doubt Eren would have given his life to save anyone here. Yes, he was full of anger and fury, but he was also full of hope. He gave all he had to give, and was a true soldier of the people. I hope we can all follow in his footsteps.”

He stepped back and Petra went to say something. It was quite touching. She talked about all of the good in Eren’s heart, and how she hoped everyone would seek out his friends and ask them about Eren, because nothing she said could do him justice. “Good job,” Hange hissed to Levi. He stepped on her foot and Petra went on to tear up and lament about never knowing Eren better before asking for a moment of silence. She went to stand by Levi and Erwin moved to center stage again.

“Because the mission was a failure,” Erwin continued. “They returned home and were not able to bring back Eren’s body. However, they did return his cloak.” He held the tattered green fabric up. “We will burn it, to remind us of Eren’s fiery heart, and of his true warrior’s spirit.”

He walked down and cast the cloak into the flames. The only sounds were crackling embers as it caught fire. Orange and blue spread across the cloak, turning the fabric dark and eating it away, until all that remained was the wings worn by all Scouts. Then those too were nothing but ash. _Dead silence._

“Any of you who wish to remain, so you might continue to honor Eren’s memory, can stay. The rest of you are dismissed.”

Many fell out of the ranks, leaving behind a few members of Eren’s trainee squad. After a moment of debate, Levi left the stage and headed through the small crowd back to the bunkers.

He passed by Mikasa and Armin, and did not stop to speak of them. He overheard some of their conversation.

“He saved my life,” Mikasa said in a quiet, emotionless voice. Levi turned to look back. She turned and met his eyes for a moment before wrapping her own cloak around herself and striding towards him. For a moment he thought she was joining him, but she kept going past him and walked back to the bunkers in a straight, unwavering line. There was no fire in her eyes.


	4. The Investigation: Enter Jacques

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Poison is in everything, and no thing is without poison. The dosage makes it either a poison or a remedy.”
> 
> -Paracelcus

"Commander?"

Erwin looked up from the papers on his desk and saw Hange. They stood by the door, clutching something in their hands.

"Come in," he said. Hange shut the door quietly behind them and crossed over. "What's the matter?"

"I found something," they began although preamble, sitting down. Erwin could now see there was a bag in their hands. Hange sat it down on the desk. "I thought you may be interested."

"Why the formality?"

"I think this is the sort of issue that requires formality." Hange opened the bag and pulled out a small vial.

"What's that?"

"It's Eren's blood," they said. "From just over a month ago. I ran some tests on it and there are abnormal levels of toxins not typically found in the human body." They handed the vial to Erwin. He examined it. It looked like normal human blood. "Because the toxins were natural, I didn't... I... This is his blood from the day he died." They removed another vial from the bag and handed it to Erwin.

"How did you get this?"

"Some was on my sword," they said. "And... I sort of... Anyways. I tested it and the toxin levels had risen. Considerably. In fact, they're at fatal amounts."

"What are the effects of the toxin?"

"They'd paralyze him, then knock him out." Hange said. "So-"

"So he'd be unable to transform." Erwin frowned at the vial.

"His blood was normal when we first met," Hange went on. "So I'd assume he was poisoned."

"When did you get these results?"

"Just this morning." Hange said. “With the first vial, I did give him an antidote in his cup the next morning, so whoever poisoned him was doing some sort of gradual build up, or used a variant poison. Some sort of mutant that couldn’t be cured.”

“So Eren was assassinated.”

“Murdered, yes.” Hange frowned. “The thing is, I’m not sure _why_ Eren was murdered. Of course, it’s quite likely that he was killed because he was a Shifter, but it’s not impossible that the culprit was trying to assassinate Levi, or even his entire squad. Hell, every Scout could be in danger.”

“Then run blood tests on Petra and Levi,” Erwin instructed her. “If they’re fine, we can assume Eren was the target, but if not- and, should anyone else die, this becomes a threat to everyone in the Survey Corps. In the meantime, we should go to any length possible to prevent a second poisoning. I’ll arrange for all drinks to be checked, and do you think you could manufacture an alternate cure?”

“Definitely,” Hange nodded, then paused, playing with their fingers.

“Is there anything else?”

“Um… That is…”

“Is there anything left in the bag?”

“Actually,” they confessed. “I did take one of Eren’s… a fragment of bone that was… but that’s not…”

“Is something on your mind?”

Hange bit their lip, and then said, “I know it’s been awhile but have there been any developments in… you know…”

“I can’t read minds, Hange.”

“Sonny and Bean?”

“Ah.” Of course. He should have known she would want to know more about that. “No, I’m afraid not.”

“It’s been awhile. If you want to drop it, I’ll understand.”

“I know.”

“I won’t be upset.”

“Good.”

“I’d understand.”

“Thank you.”

* * *

 

When Levi had trouble sleeping, he rarely wondered why, he simply went on with the night. If he was truly incapable of it, he would do something productive, but he often found that lying quietly and clearing your head of all thoughts was enough to send him off. But tonight, it was not enough.

Yet he could not seem to bring himself to sit up.

Eren was dead.

He didn’t know why that thought kept haunting him, but it _did_. He could not seem to erase the fact from his head. Eld. Gunther. Oluo. Eren. He would never see any of him again. Levi opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling.

He was not good at labelling feelings, but he supposed that if Hange could get their hands on him, they’d probably put him in the “grief” or “depressed” category. He was actually fairly sure they’d already begun to consider him depressed. Levi wasn’t sure if he could be classified as either of those things.

All he really knew was that it felt like something heavy was pressing down on his shoulders, and it had begun to seep into his heart.

Almost a week had passed when Levi was awakened before sunrise by a loud knocking at his door. He frowned and rose.

“I’ll be a minute,” he said.

“It’s urgent,” Hange hissed back.

“I’m getting dressed,” he snapped, and started to get dressed.

“No. It’s urgent.”

“I’m getting. _Dressed._ ” Levi hurried to finish and opened the door. “Now what’s-”

Hange grabbed him by the arm, wrenched him through the door, and started down the hall. “I think if we can get you outside then-”

“What the _hell_?” Levi pulled his arm back. “What’s going on?”

“I don’t have time to explain,” they said quietly.

“Explain _what_?”

“Shh!” They covered his mouth. Levi gagged and spat at their hand. Hange pulled it away and wiped it on their pants, frowning at him. “Can’t you just come quietly?”

 _“No!”_ Levi said. “I demand to know what’s-”

“I’ll explain on the way,” Hange said breathlessly. They grabbed onto Levi’s arm and started to pull him down the hall again. “The Military Police are here about Eren’s death.”

“What, to investigate?”

“Well… yes. Sort of. Not really. Can’t you walk any faster?”

“I-”

“Hange.”

Hange froze, face lighting up with the most forced grin Levi had ever seen, and turned around.

“Commander,” they said. “I was just… taking Levi… to show him… Titan stuff. Yeah. My Titan stuff.”

“ _Really_!?” Levi yanked his arm back. “For hell’s sake, Hange!”

“Shut your mouth,” Hange said through gritted teeth.

“You’re going to have to move faster,” Erwin said, approaching them. “Petra’s been keeping them occupied.” He gave Levi a scathing look that was fierce, even for him. “Get him out to a horse. Levi, you’ll have to go underground. Please leave before I can be connected to any of this.”

“Right-o,” Hange said. “Let’s-”

“I don’t understand,” Levi said. “Will you let go of my arm, and will someone please-”

“Pardon.”

A tall, well-built man approached them, from behind Erwin. He had dark hair, shadowed eyes, and wore the emblem of the Military Police.

"Ah, Jacques, there you are!" Erwin smiled. "Unfortunately Levi does have some pressing matters to attend to-"

He walked by Erwin as if he were unimportant, which was a bit of a shock, and extended a hand towards Levi. “Jacques,” he said. “And you’re Captain Levi Ackerman, is that correct?”

“No, where’d you get a stupid idea like that?”

Hange laughed too loud and slapped Levi on the back. Levi disentangled his hand from Hange and shook Jacques’, looking disdainful and possibly disgusted. He looked from Jacques to Hange, to Erwin, and back to Jacques.

“Quite the comedian, I see,” Jacques said. “Captain, I’m with the Military Police. I’m here regarding the death of Eren Yeager. Would it be alright if I asked to a few questions?”

Hange started to make wide, rapid gestures towards the door. It looked like they were trying to communicate something about a horse and something obscene.

“No,” Levi said. “I’m quite busy. You see, I was actually trying to sleep, when my friend Hange here woke me up.” He glared at them. “Since they _woke me up_ , I must assume it’s urgent.”

“Oh?” Jacques glanced back at Hange, who froze, then at Levi. “And what is it she needs?”

Hange started to make more gestures.

“Well,” Levi said. “I was under the impression they wanted to sleep with a horse-”

_“Levi!”_

“But I don’t think they’d finished explaining. So, if you’ll excuse me-”

“This is a little more pressing than horses,” Jacques said. “Hange, if I might borrow the Captain?”

“Uh, it’s actually pretty pressing,” Hange said. “See. I have a horse. And. I need to use Levi. Because of the horse.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes. It’s… a sick horse. And Levi’s actually really good with horses. Like. I’m pretty sure he _is_ a horse. You know. In disguise.”

 _Very convincing,_ Levi thought.

“When will you be done?”

“In like, a week,” Hange said. “He’s really sick. He may even need to go buy stuff.”

“Then I suppose I’ll have to delay treatment,” Jacques said coolly. “Captain, if you’ll come with me.”

 


	5. The Arrest of Levi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every time that I come home nobody wants to let me be
> 
> It seems that all the friends I've got, just got to come, interrogate me
> 
> Well, I appreciate your feelings and I don't want to pass you by
> 
> But I don't ask you about your business, don't ask me about mine
> 
> -“Don’t Ask Me No Questions” by Lynyrnd Skynyrd

Hange gave Levi a panicked look, then mouthed, _Run for it!_ and pulled a knife out of their pocket. Erwin noticed and pulled the knife out of their hands. Levi turned and followed Jacques back down the hall.

“Which of these rooms will give us some privacy?” Jacques said. “And dammit, where’s Albine gotten to?”

“That room's mine, so it’s empty. Please leave it that way."

“Perfect.”

_“Sir!”_

There was what sounded a little like skittering, and a scrawny young man appeared from behind Levi. Jacques hit him upside the head.

“Dammit, there you are! Don’t go wandering off!”

“Sorry, sir.”

“Come on.” Jacques wrenched open the door to Levi’s room and gestured for him to enter. Levi did so, and Jacques and the young man followed. “Captain Levi, Albine. Albine, Captain Levi.”

“Hullo.”

Jacques put a hand on Levi’s shoulder. “I’d like to begin by saying I’m truly sorry for your loss,” he said in what had to be the most over dramatic tone Levi had ever heard. Considering the time he’d spent with Oluo, that had to be a lot. “But, on with business. Captain Levi, if you’d sit down.”

“This is my room,” Levi said, narrowing his eyes. “Why don’t we all stand?”

“Very well,” Jacques said, but collapsed into the chair by Levi’s desk. Levi leaned against the wall and glared at him. “Albine, pour me a pint.”

“Yessir.” Albine started to rummage in his bags, before pulling out a flash and a cup.

“Care for a drink, Captain?”

“I don’t drink.”

“Then how do you cope?” Jacques laughed. “Albine, pour the man a drink. Now, Levi-”

“That’s Captain Levi.”

“Well… Mister Ackerman _,”_ Levi flinched. “I was hoping we could resolve the matter of Yeager.”

“You mean, that he’s dead?”

“You don’t seem to be very broken up about it.”

Levi raised an eyebrow. “Are you implying I don’t care?”

“Oh, no, of course not.” Jacques laughed and Albine handed him a glass, then started to shove one into Levi’s hands. He took it to avoid spilling alcohol on his floor. The scent would never get out of his carpets, and he was fond of his carpets.

“That’s good,” Levi said, setting the cup down on his dresser. “That would be rude, intrusive, and also despicable. If that was all-”

“But I was hoping to ask you about the matter. But if you’re so _devastated_ , perhaps I should come back another time?”

“Ah, you’d like to intrude upon my schedule some more? Very well, the door is-”

“Could you describe Yeager’s death in your own words?” Jacques said. “Albine, take notes for me.”

“Yessir.”

“I doubt what I’ll tell you will be different from anything else you’ve heard,” Levi said. “I woke up. Eren was gone. I woke up Hange and Petra, we went to look for him, found him quite a whiles away.”

“What state was the body in?”

“How faulty _is_ your memory?”

“Captain.”

“Very well. Let me see…” Instantly the image of Eren’s corpse flashed before Levi’s eyes. He could smell bright blood, and a choking scnet, it was like he could reach out and touch him. If he could just touch him, he wouldn’t be dead. Then…

“Whenever you’re ready, Ackerman.”

Levi nodded. “A large portion of his head was missing, and his torso. His arm was gone, and his neck was practically nonexistent.”

“Was there anything odd you noticed about it?”

“Other than the fact that he’d been horribly mangled? No, not really.”

Jacques took a long drink from his cup, then leaned forward. “Captain Levi, I’ve heard that he was poisoned.”

“Well, yes, Hange told me that too. It’s unfortunate but I really don’t know anything about it. Have you spoken to Hange yet?”

“You seem eager to point me towards her.”

“Yeah, because you’re asking about poison and _they're_ the one who figured _out_ the poison, so-”

“Captain, I’ll be straightforward.” He set the cup down on Levi’s desk. A strand of liquor ran down the side and landed on his polished mahogany. Levi glared at him. “I don’t think Eren’s death was an accident.”

“ _What_? No! Was it the poison? The missing body parts? What on _earth_ could lead you to this conclusion?!”

“I was wondering if you could shed some light on the subject,” Jacques continued with determination in his eyes.

“You mean, who _I_ think did it?” Jacques nodded. “I know your lot was eager to kill him off.”

“First you point at Hange, then at _us_. Interesting.”

“You did want to dissect him. All I want is to go back to bed.”

“Where were _you_ when Eren was killed?”

“I was asleep.”

“Can anyone verify this?”

“No. Hange and Petra and I were all asleep. That's how sleep works.”

“Interesting.” Jacques stood up. “I suppose that will be all I need. Albine, did you get all of that?”

“Yessir.”

“Captain,” Jacques shook his head sadly. “You must be absolutely devastated.”

“That’s a bit of an overstatement, but yeah.”

“The loss of someone so young. Was he like a son to you?”

“More like an annoying younger brother.”

“You two spent a lot of time together. You must’ve been very close.”

“I guess, maybe.”

“And after losing your team, too.”

“My team?”

“Yes. The deaths of… oh, I read the report on this… Oluo, Eld, and Gunther as the hands of the Female Titan. I can only imagine the hardships you’re enduring.”

“Yeah.”

“Those deaths must’ve taken quite a toll on you. It must have been very disorienting.”

“Yeah.”

“All for the sake of Eren?”

“Yeah.” Levi wondered if he should remind Jacques that he was leaving.

“You must’ve been very confused.”

Levi couldn’t think of a polite or adequate answer that wasn’t “Yeah.”

“I’d like to apologize.”

“Thanks.”

“But I have to place you under arrest.”

Levi stared at the man in front of him. He looked dead serious. He was actually in the process of saying something to Albine about handcuffs. The only response he could conjure, was “You’re joking.”

“I’m sorry, Captain, but I’m not. I’m obliged to arrest you.”

“Why the hell would you _arrest_ me?”

“For the murder of Eren Yeager.”

“You think I _murdered_ him? Why the hell would I do that?”

“There are a number of reasons. You’re humanity’s strongest, and you felt threatened by humanity’s last hope. You might have felt your status as a celebrity-”

“A _celebrity_?”

“-was in danger. Or maybe you were upset that your friends had died because of him. Or maybe you’re just insane. Time and a trial will tell, I suppose.”

“A _trial_?” Albine pulled the handcuffs Jacques was surely expecting from his bag and handed them to him. Jacques held them out as if expecting Levi to arrest _himself_ , and he pulled his hands back. He stared at Jacques. “Who the _fuck_ do you think you are? How the hell did I murder him, then?”

“You poisoned him.”

“I did _not_!”

“And then you let Titans finish the job.”

“I did _what?!”_

“Captain, this can go two ways. You come quietly and we do this the civilized way, or you become a threat to justice.”

“A threat to…” Levi clenched his fists. “I’m afraid I still don’t understand.” He inhaled a large breath of air. “I have work I need to get to.” He started towards the door. “If you’ll kindly leave me alone-”

He opened the door, and Hange fell over onto his floor.

“Levi!” they shouted. “I’m here to save you!”

“Dear god.”

“Miss Zoë,” Jacques gave them an exasperated look. “As I explained earlier, I have a legal and a moral obligation to arrest him.”

“You _knew_?” Levi said. “You knew and you didn’t- oh.”

“That’s _Hange_ to you!” Hange said. “And _I_ have a moral obligation to do the _opposite of that_!”

“There isn’t an opposite of- never mind. We don’t have time for this. I assure you, Levi will be given the fairest of trials.”

“I don’t want a fucking trial,” Levi said.

“Levi.”

Erwin appeared in the doorway, and then entered.

“Will everyone _please_ leave my room?” Levi shouted.

“Do as he says,” he said calmly, giving Levi what he assumed was his very best _for the good of mankind, follow my orders,_ look.

“What the fuck?”

“Levi,” Erwin looked exasperated. “We all know you didn’t kill him. Just go, do the trial, you’ll be back within the week.”

“You want me to sit around in jail for a _week_?”

“Just get it over with.”

“ _Fine_!” Levi threw his hands up in the air. “Fine! Arrest me, _officer._ ”

“But _Erwin!_ ” Hange said. “We can’t-”

“Hange, shut up!” Levi said. “Okay, here are my conditions.”

“You don’t get any conditions,” Jacques said.

“Yes, I do. Hange, he got liquor on my desk. Clean it up.”

“Of course,” Hange said, with great emotion.

“Erwin, you are not to let the trainees slack off on their chores.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

“Also, I get a nice jail cell. I’ve seen your cells. I get sheets, I don’t share, and you allow me basic cleaning supplies. No, your supplies are shit.” He headed toward his closet. “I get to bring a few staples.”

“You don’t get to-”

Levi threw the doors open. “Do I get rags?”

“I don’t-”

“Mop?”

“I-”

“I have to at least take these.” He pulled out his handkerchiefs. “And… a spare cravat?”

“Come on, we’re going.” Jacques grabbed him the wrist. “Out the door, now.”

“Okay, but-”

The door slammed.


	6. Prison

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And outside this window I see all the other boxes
> 
> Box-shaped drivers, box-shaped cars
> 
> Those little box-shaped lives that I could live
> 
> -“Promise to the Moon” by Jason Webley

“Muffins!” Hange sang, and slammed a basket of muffins in front of Levi.

“Okay,” Levi said.

Petra followed them in, and Hange immediately took the only seat outside of his cell. She was forced to lean against the wall.

“I don’t like muffins,” Levi said.

“What a pity,” Hange replied, and reached to take them.

“I’ll still eat them!” Levi snatched onto the basket. “Did you put berries in these?”

“Raisins.”

“Ich.”

“I made them for _me_ ,” Hange said sourly. “I was gonna give you one, but then Petra gave me the basket and said how nice it was that we were bringing you food, so I had to give them all to you.”

“Oh,” Petra said.

“I put in raisins out of spite. So!” Hange clapped their hands. “How’s _prison_?!”

“Lovely,” Levi raised an eyebrow. “Can’t you see how nice it is?”

“Oh, yes. It’s wonderful.”

“Lot’s of space to myself. Nice, quiet, moldy. I’ve got loads of rats for company.”

“Are they nice?”

“Eh,” Levi shrugged.

“One time we had a Titan in a northern forest,” Hange said.

“Oh no,” Levi said.

“He was a big guy, but really dumb. Took a team of seven to get him down.”

It was one of her _one time we had a Titan and_ stories.

“We had these three guys go in from the top, another three from the bottom and sides, and one girl played decoy. Took half an hour to nail him down. Called him Clyde.”

_“Clyde?”_

“That’s what I said! Anyways, we had him in a pretty weird forest. Not like that huge one, smaller, trees weren’t as large, and there were loads of animals. There are lots of animals out there. _Lots_. And at first Clyde was a fantastic test subject. He responded on instinct, so he was really great. But slowly his reactions to tests got more and more distorted, must’ve been over the course of a few weeks- until one day he was unresponsive. I told the higher ups we couldn’t stop the tests yet, we had to see what it was causing this, that this was a scientific breakthrough, but they said no, and sliced his neck. And instead of steam, all these rats just exploded out of him.”

Petra winced.

“See, they’d gotten inside of him, and had just eaten him alive.” Hange grinned. “Pretty gross, huh?!” Her smile fell. “He didn’t even die until we cut him! Poor Clyde!”

“Fantastic,” Levi said. “Now I can’t even trust the rats.”

“I miss Clyde. I liked him.” Hange reached through the cell bars and took a muffin, then gave him a look that threatened him into taking one as well.

“This tastes like powder,” he coughed. “You can keep them.”

“When’s your trial?” Petra asked.

“Dunno,” Levi said. “No one’s told me anything. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m locked inside a cell.”

“Oh, right.” She took a muffin, had a bite, then pulled a face.

"How are they?"

She swallowed. “… Good.”

“Thank you, Petra. _Some_ people can’t appreciate my baking.” Hange handed Petra another muffin. She stared at it mournfully. “One time, we were looking into alternate food sources for Titans-”

“Hange, I’m really not in the mood for a Titan story.”

“You’re never in the mood for a Titan story, the thing is, you can’t pretend to be busy. So-”

“Petra, please interrupt her,” Levi said.

“Okay,” Petra said. “Um. Let’s see. Mikasa hacked one of the training Titan dummies into forty three pieces.”

“Forty three?”

Hange nodded. “Exactly. I counted.”

“Wow.”

“I heard your trial’s set for next week,” Petra said. “So you should get out quickly.

Hange nodded again. “Assuming all goes well, you’ll be back in like, seven days!”

 _“Assuming_?”

“Well,” they laughed a little too loudly. “There _is_ the chance whatever jury and judge they appoint could be bribed or be idiots and decide to kill you, so… ha… yeah…”

Levi glared at them. Petra chuckled nervously.

“Want another muffin?”

“Oh, no,” she said. “I couldn’t possibly-”

Hange handed her a third. Petra looked ready to cry. Levi wasn’t sure if he should help her, or laugh.

“Save some muffins for Erwin,” he said.

“Oh! You’re right.” Hange took one. “This’ll be my last. He’s been talking to the Military Police, so you should definitely be fine. Erwin’s pretty persuasive, heh.”

“Honestly,” Petra said. “Who does that Jacques think he is?”

“I dunno,” Hange said. “But _I_ think he’s an idiot. Last go for muffins!”

“I’m stuffed,” Petra shook her head, and discreetly sat her muffin down behind her. Hange did not appear to notice.

“Levi?”

“I hate your muffins.”

“Whatever, sourpuss.” Hange covered the basket up. “Cell clean enough for you?”

“No.”

“That’s the spirit.”

“We tried to bring you that cleaning solution you like,” Petra told him, “But the guards said we couldn’t.”

“I know,” Levi scowled. “I did too, but they said it would be a _threat._ ”

“What? Why?”

“Apparently you can poison people,” Hange said around their muffin, spewing crumbs. Levi lip curled. They swallowed. “Sorry, sorry. Would you try to poison a guard with cleaning solution?”

“Maybe, if you were my guard.”

“If I were your guard, I’m sure you’d enjoy prison _loads_ more. Do you have the time?”

“Gee,” Levi raised his eyebrows. “Let me check the many timepieces in my _cell._ ”

“Right. Well, Pets and I have to get going. We’re helping Erwin putting together all of our proof for your innocence. Anything you want us to throw in?”

“Sure, if you see Jacques, tell him to-”

“Ookay,” Hange said. “We’ll do the writing.” They stood up, and stretched. “Come on, Petra! See you around, Cap.”

Levi nodded in farewell.

* * *

 

It was sometime after midnight, and Petra was tired.

She had been up going over the court case with Hange and Erwin; they’d lost track of time and she’d also lost track of some paperwork, and redoing it had taken much longer than she would have prepared. To put things simply, she was exhausted.

Petra stumbled down the hallway, taking the turn towards the women’s dormitories. She and Oluo had been planning on moving out of the Scouts headquarters after the fifty seventh expedition but obviously, that was no longer going to happen.

As tired as she was, it took her much longer than normal to realize she had turned left, not right. She had walked into the men’s dormitories. She turned to go back, but paused at the sound of voices.

_Who could be up so late…?_

She shrugged it off, starting back down the hall so she could go to sleep-

_“I’m not fucking around!”_

-and froze.

“Shh!” someone said in response. “You’ll wake someone.”

Petra frowned, and leaned in the direction the voices seemed to be coming from.

“We have to stick around,” whoever had yelled said. “I mean, we could’ve been wrong.”

“But if Eren was the Coordinate-”

“Eren is dead,” they hissed in response.

“But we _can’t_ die.”

“I know. Truth be told, I don’t buy his death either. But for all intents and purposes, Eren is dead, so we have to hope the Coordinate is elsewhere.”

“Well, _where_ , then?”

“Hell, I dunno! But if he was a Shifter, there might be more of us here.”

“Is that really possible?”

“It has to be.”

There was a pause. For a moment, Petra thought they’d finished, and then the quieter of the two spoke.

“Do you ever think that…”

“What?”

“Never mind. It’s not important.”

“What is it?”

“Do you ever think that… maybe… we should just go home?”

There was a silence that seemed to buzz in Petra’s ears, and then came the answer.

“I wish we could. But we have to focus on what’s important. Do you want to go home empty handed?”

“... No.”

“Good, me neither.”

There was more silence, then the two bid goodnight to each other, and after a moment, Petra heard faint snoring.

She rushed down the hallway, passed by the turn into the women’s dorms, and back to the office she’d been working in.

“Commander!”

Hange looked up from Erwin’s desk.

“Oh,” Petra said. “Hange. Where’s Erwin?”

“Went to bed,” Hange yawned. They had their legs crossed on the desk, and there was a book on their lap. “I had some stuff to finish, didn’t want to drag my ass over to the lab. Something the matter?”

“I just overheard something,” Petra said. “See, I was in the men’s dorms-”

“What? Oho! Why?"

“I took a wrong turn,” she explained quickly. “And I heard two people talking. It was more than a little suspicious.”

“A little suspicious?” Hange grinned, and set the book down. “Tell me _moore_!”

Petra sat down across from them. It was late, and she was already having trouble recalling exactly what had been said. “It was two guys, the first one said he wasn’t fucking around.”

“Distinct.”

“The other one shushed him and then the first said they had to stick around. Then the other said something about Eren being a coordinate-”

“Like, on a graph?”

“I don’t know! Then they said something about Eren being dead, and the other said they couldn’t die.”

“They? You mean Eren?”

“No,” Petra bit her lip. “The way he said it- you see, his exact words were, _but we can’t die_.”

“We,” Hange repeated.

“We! Then there was something about him not believing Eren was dead, but they had to act as if he was. And then,” Petra said, eyes widening. “They said that if he was dead, they had to assume there were more Shifters.”

“More Shifters?”

“To be precise, _if he was a Shifter, there might be more of us here_!”

Hange stared at Petra, her grin spreading, then they jumped up.

“Ya _hoo!_ ”

“Hange!”

“See, I knew it wasn’t all gone! Yes! We’ve got some more _Shifters!”_ They spun in a circle. “I could kiss you!”

“Keep your voice down!” Petra said, flushed.

“Right, right. Mmkay. _So,”_ Hange sat back down, tapping the tips of their fingers together. “Sososo. We’ve got to figure out who was talking. Hmmm.”

“But how?”

“We _ell_ ,” Hange mused. “You remember where you heard them?”

“Not exactly. It was probably around halfway down the hall, but I can’t be certain.”

“Huh.” Hange frowned. “That does set things back. We can assume this won’t be something these boys discuss out in public or daylight-”

“And we can’t go sneaking around in the men’s dormitories in the middle of the night,” Petra said.

“Righto. So we need to get someone to do the sneaking for us.”

“Like who?”

“Well, they have to be a guy, obviously.”

“Yes.” Petra thought for a moment. “Someone people would trust, but who’d also be likely to go out at night. And he can’t have much of a schedule.”

“Uh huh. He’ll have to be well known but not have many close friends, because that’d clutter up his time.”

“Someone we can easily move to working under one of us.”

“Definitely, and who doesn’t have a love life.”

“Someone who’s well-known and generally trusted, doesn’t have any close friends or is in any relationships, and who can work under us?”

They looked at each other.

“Jean.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Jean enters*


	7. Looking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a shorter chapter

“You want me to be a spy for you?” Jean asked.

“Well,” Petra said.

“Yes,” Hange said.

“More or less.”

Jean raised an eyebrow. “But why do you _need_ a spy?”

“It’s complicated,” Hange said. “See, it might involve Eren’s death. It definitely involves Shifters.”

“We think there might be some more,” Petra explained.

“More Erens?”

“Shifters.”

“Same thing.” Jean frowned. “Why do you think that?”

“I overheard something,” Petra said.

“See,” Hange began to make wide gestures that didn’t help explain anything, but looked pretty cool, in their opinion. “All we know is the people she overheard _might_ be Shifters, and there’s something about a coordinate.”

“And Eren maybe _being_ a coordinate.”

“And they don’t believe Eren’s dead!”

“And all we know is they’re men,” Petra finished.

“Okay?” Jean ran a hand through his hair. “Well, I’m flattered, I guess, but why me?”

Hange and Petra exchanged a look.

“Your, uh, aptitude,” Hange sputtered.

“And your, um, availability,” Petra added.

“We think you’re the right man for the job!”

Jean grinned. “I won’t say you’re wrong. What do you want me to do?”

“Just hang out in the dormitories at night.”

He frowned. “At _night_?”

“We’re arranging for you to work under us,” Petra said. “You can stay up as late as you need, and sleep in. We’ll excuse you from any morning events.”

“Seriously? Cool!” Jean grinned. “Can I get anyone to help me?”

“Uh…” Petra thought for a moment. “Who’s your roommate?”

“Connie.”

“I guess he could help, and… Armin, maybe?”

“Right, Connie and Armin.” Jean nodded thoughtfully. “Okay, awesome! We can take shifts and alternate nights with three of us! I’ll start tonight.”

“Great!” Hange put their hand on his shoulder. “Just make sure they don’t say a word about this to _anyone._ ”

“I will,” Jean promised solemnly, then saluted. “You can count on me!”

He turned and left the room.

“Well,” Hange said. “He’s certainly getting less pretentious.”

* * *

 

Erwin came to visit Levi later in the week. Levi stood up as casually as he could so he could be taller than him when he sat down.

“‘Lo,” he said after a moment, when Erwin did not greet him first.

“Hello.” Erwin’s eyes were shadowed.

“You’re looking worse for wear.”

“The same to you.” He yawned loudly. “Your trial’s taking up all of our time.”

“My apologies, _commander_ ,” Levi said. “I didn’t realize my getting arrested would be so hard on you.”

Erwin said nothing, then pulled some papers out of his jacket. “If it’s not too much trouble, could we go over what happened again?”

“You mean Eren?”

“Yes. I’d like to review your first-hand account.”

“My first-hand account? I already gave you my first hand account!”

“I know, I’d like to do this once more. Just in case I missed anything.”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know!” Erwin exclaimed. There was silence.

“Fucking hell,” Levi said. “You think I did it.”

“Levi-”

“What the actual _fuck_? You think _I_ killed _Eren_?”

“Levi-”

“What the hell? What the fucking hell?!”

“Levi,” Erwin said calmly, lifting a hand to stop him. “There’s been… evidence that’s surfaced, and-”

“What the _fuck_?”

“-and things that _do_ point in your direction-”

“You think I killed him!”

“Levi, don’t make me raise my voice-”

“You actually think I killed him!”

“I don’t know _what_ to think, Captain!” Erwin shouted. “But evidence _has_ surfaced and I’m determined to find the truth!”

“Oh,” Levi raised an eyebrow. “Alright. I’m _captain_ , now. I see.”

“Levi,” Erwin said in a strict voice. “It doesn’t matter what you did. I want you to tell me the truth. You’re humanity’s strongest, all that matters is getting you out of jail and back out there.”

“Gosh, Erwin,” Levi batted his eyelashes at him and pretended to swoon. “I didn’t know you _cared_ so much.”

“Levi.”

“I’m _flattered_!”

“Levi, drop the act.” Levi’s hands fell to his side, and he scowled at Erwin. “There’s no need to act so cynical and bitter around me.”

“Well, there’s no need to act so high-and-mighty around _me_. Besides,” he added on an afterthought. “I _am_ cynical and bitter.”

“Let’s just get on with this,” Erwin said in a tired voice.

“Alright,” Levi said. “But I don’t particularly want to.”

“I just need you to be honest with me!” Erwin said. “Is that so much to ask?”

“Considering I _have_ been honest with you, _yes._ ”

“Fine,” Erwin said. “We’ll do this another time.” He stood up sharply, shoving his papers back into his jacket. “Good luck with your trial.”

“Good luck with your life!”

Erwin stormed out the door, and Levi was struck with a childlike desire to stick his tongue out after him. He didn’t, because he wasn’t a child. He held up his middle finger instead.


	8. Reiner and Bertholdt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “A friend once said, and I found to be true,That everyday people, they lie to God too,So what makes you think, that they won't lie to you.”  
> ― Lauryn Hill

“Tired,” Connie whined.

“Shut up,” Jean snapped.

“Sh _hh_ ,” Armin shushed them.

The three of them were all standing out in the hallway towards the men’s dorms, right at the turning point to enter them. After walking up and down the hallway a few times, they’d concluded everyone was asleep, and were waiting to see who wasn’t in bed yet.

“Doesn’t all three of us being here defeat the purpose of there being _three_ of us?” Armin whispered.

“I dunno,” Connie said. “How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Stop it with your tongue twisters!”

“It wasn’t a- And isn’t it weird for three of us to just stand around outside the entrance to the dorms?”

“Armin,” Jean said. “You make a good point. Three’s a crowd! I vote that I should be the one to go to bed, you and Connie can stay out here.”

“That’s not what I meant!” Armin hissed. “We’re just standing around!”

“Ah. Right. Well, whose dorm is closest to the front?”

“Mine,” Armin said. “I’ll stay up and keep watch.”

“And we’ll patrol the corridor!”

“I don’t-”

“Brilliant, Armin.” Jean patted him on the head. “See, that’s the genius strategist we know and love. Keep at it!”

“But I-”

Jean and Connie promptly disappeared down the hall. Armin groaned and went back to his own dorm. With Eren gone, it was just him, and things had felt too quiet lately. At least now he had something to do.

He sat down by the door, put his ear to the keyhole, and listened.

Armin opened his eyes some time later. He wondered what time it was, and was horrified. He’d fallen asleep. He’d fallen asleep and he didn’t know how much time had passed.

There was a creak down the hall.

He inhaled sharply and turned. That had been a footstep. That had definitely, absolutely, been a footstep. That must’ve been what woken him up! He quietly adjusted his position, and heard another footfall, and heavy breathing.

There came a yawn, and more footsteps. He moved to look through the keyhole. No good, whoever it was had passed him.

Doing his best to stay silent, he rose, and turned the knob of his door. He leaned on it gently, and it opened a crack.

The door to a room farther down the hall shut. Armin paused, then slipped out into the corridor, and crept towards it. He made note of the room number before tiptoeing to Jean and Connie’s dorm.

He opened the door. Not surprisingly, Connie was asleep in his bunk, and Jean was curled up on the floor. He’d probably passed out on the job.

“Jean, Connie!”

Connie started and sat up sharply, but Jean let out another snore, so Armin kicked him.

“Gah! I’m up!”

“Someone came in late,” Armin explained immediately. “Who’s in room twenty four?”

“Twenty four?” Connie frowned. “That’s Bert and Reiner, isn’t it?”

“Don’t they normally stay out late training?” Jean asked.

“They came in just now,” Armin said, excitement vanishing. “But… I guess it was because they were-”

“No, wait,” Jean said. “We’ve been doing this all week and haven’t heard anything weird, but Bert and Reiner always come in later than everyone else-”

“-And they aren’t normally in the dorm,” Armin finished, nodding. “Yeah, you’re right!”

“Wait,” Connie said. “What?”

“If they’re talking about anything suspicious, they’d do it while they were training,” Armin said. “Not in their dorm, where it’s a lot easier to overhear them.”

“And they probably train alone!” Jean exclaimed. “This is great! Alright. Now we just need a plan or something.”

“Someone should follow them to train,” Armin said. “They can either listen, or pretend to be training so they’ll leave.”

“Connie!”

“Huh?” Connie frowned again. “Why me?”

“Armin would never stay up late training,” Jean said. “And if it’s me, they might engage me in conversation, and they won’t want to leave. But if it’s you-”

“Right, okay,” Connie yawned, and laid back down. “Fine, fine.” A moment later, his breathing evened, and he was snoring.

“Jean, aren’t you going to bed?”

“Right.” Jean stood up and moved towards his bunk. “Operation Catch Bert and Reiner in the Act begins at dawn! Or whenever we’re awake. G’night!”

“Night,” Armin said.

* * *

 

“You remember the plan?”

“I’m not an idiot,” Connie snapped.

“I know,” Jean reassured him. “But you remember the plan?”

“I remember the plan!”

“Great,” Armin said. “Just sit quietly in the corner, and work out, and train. And listen to everything they say.”

“If they ask what you’re doing,” Jean said. “Say you’re working out.”

“I said I remember the plan!”

“If they say anything suspicious,” Jean said. “Remember it. Word for word.”

“I will, okay?”

“Good,” Jean said solemnly. “Then go.”

Connie nodded, saluted, then rushed off.

The plan was for him to get to the workout room before Bertholdt and Reiner, so he could go relatively unnoticed. So, he entered the room, found the hardest to see corner, and started lifting weights. Thirty minutes later, his arms were aching, but the door opened, and Bertholdt and Reiner entered, so he was forced to continue lifting.

Bertholdt said something quietly. Reiner went to lift some of the larger weights. “Spot me,” he said. Connie started wondering if that was code, but then he glanced over his shoulder and Bert was spotting Reiner. So it probably wasn’t.

It was then Connie encountered a problem. They were definitely talking, but he couldn’t hear them. Fortunately, they moved over so Reiner could do pull-ups, and came into hearing distance.

“... Annie…”

“... Coordinate…”

Barely.

“Oh,” Bertholdt suddenly said, very loudly. “Hello, Connie!”

Connie froze, then turned and grinned.

“Oh, hey, guys!”

Bert smiled. “What’re you doing in here this late?”

“Oh,” Connie said. “Ha, ha, uh, you know how it is. You get those… _Manly_ urges. Wanna work out, and, uh, punch someone. Yup! And, uh, you guys?”

“Reiner normally comes to work out before bed,” Bertholdt said. “Helps him calm down, you know?”

“Yeah, me too.” Well, that was a lie if Connie had ever heard one. This was exhausting, straining, and painful.

“And I just tag along.”

Reiner finished his pull-ups and glared at Connie. He’d glared at him before, but normally he didn’t seem so rude. They’d trained together after all, and Connie had always thought of Reiner as the kind of guy who grinned and slapped you on the back. They'd been buddies. He did some push-ups, and then the two of them left.

This was where the plan really came into action. Connie waited a moment before trailing after them. Jean, who was waiting nearby, out of sight, would rush to the dorms to tell Armin they were coming, and Connie would follow them, in case they didn’t go to bed. He walked after them as discreetly as possible. They turned into the dorms and headed to their room. Connie knocked on Armin’s door, and he and Jean poked their heads out.

“They came back?”

“Yes.”

“Great!”

The three of them crept down the hallway and found the door to their room. With bated breath, they all got as close as they could, and listened.

“That was weird,” Reiner was saying. “Sure is hard to get some privacy, huh?”

Bertholdt laughed. “Yeah, I guess. So…” he paused. “Do we have a plan yet?”

Reiner sighed. “Nope.”

“Oh.” Here he paused again. “So I guess we’ll wait till we can talk to Annie?”

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

“I-”

“The way I see it, we have two options. We can either go home, or we need some major event that could, you know, _reveal_ another Shifter.”

“Like… before?”

“That’s all I can think of.”

“So we’re going home then?”

“Unless we want to break down some more walls, yeah.”

 _“We_?” Connie hissed.

“We can’t do that again.”

“Agreed.”

“So, get Annie and get out?”

“Yup.”

“We’re deserting?”

“You can stay if you want.”

“No, I’ll go with you.”

“It’s all fine with me.”

“See you in the morning, then.”

“Night.”

Armin, Connie, and Jean all turned to stare at each other.

* * *

 

Levi would probably get loads of shit for not making himself look “presentable” for his trial, but in his defense, he was literally locked inside of a cell. He would have liked nothing more than to rinse off, but nope, no bathing for the wicked, apparently. That was enough to make him feel like hell.

He got more sleep than normal that night, almost six hours, and woke up before sunrise.

He laid still for awhile, until the door opened. He sat up, expecting to see a guard, but instead, Hange and Petra entered.

“Oh, great.”

“Hey, shorty,” Hange beamed. “Guess who gets to escort you to the courthouse!”

“No.”

“Well, some of the police are coming, too,” Petra said. “But we’re coming along!”

“Dammit.”

“Isn’t this exciting!” Hange nearly bounced as the guard entered to unlock the cell. “If you do get executed, you’ll get to hang out with us one last time! Not that you will, but I’m just saying-”

“Wow,” Levi said. “Hange. You’re such a massive comfort.”

“And we brought you food!” Hange turned and took a basket from Petra. “See?”

“I helped,” Petra reassured Levi. “And we brought tea!” She pulled a bottle out from her coat. “It’s black. Your favorite.”

Levi accepted the bottle, and followed them out into the waiting carriage. A solemn, blonde sat inside, next to a girl with slightly darker hair. Levi scowled at her, and she scowled back, and he sat down. Once the carriage was moving, he opened the bottle, and drank some of the tea.

“Now, remember,” Hange said. “There’s no need to be nervous.”

“I’m not.”

“Your innocent, so it’ll all be fine.”

“I know.”

“And if not, I’ll stab the judge.”

“They're joking,” Petra told the blonde. “Er… This is Hange, and that’s Levi. Which you probably knew?”

The girl nodded.

“I’m Petra!” Petra went on. “And you two are?”

“Hitch,” the darker haired said. “And that bitch is Annie.”

“Oh,” Petra nodded. “Hello.”

“Yeah,” Annie said.

“Have we met before?” Petra asked.

“No,” Annie said.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“And if the judge is mean to you,” Hange went on. “I’ll stab him again!”

“Are you for real?!”

The carriage rolled to a stop, and they entered the courthouse.

Hitch and Annie escorted Levi in, and he was unsurprised to see there was quite the turnout. A little annoyed, too. He didn’t need all these people to see him getting accused for something he didn’t do.

“Is Erwin here?” He asked Hange.

“He should be,” they answered. Levi nodded and scanned the crowd. It was easy to pick out a few of the Scouts. Armin, Mikasa, and Jean were all there. The second Hange and Petra entered, Armin started waving at them frantically.

“Hange!” Petra said, jerking her head towards them.

“We gotta go,” Hange said, and they rushed off without another word. Levi sighed.

He didn’t end up paying much attention to his trial. Most of it didn’t require it. It was mostly Erwin- who’d appeared, like an angel from the heavens, at the door apologizing for getting lost in the crowd outside- arguing with Jacques about what Levi did or didn’t do. It was quite tiresome. Jacques pointed and yelled something, Erwin responded calmly. Levi was very rarely asked for his opinion, which he thought was bullshit, and he had to sit in a short, uncomfortable chair, which was also bullshit. After a lengthy period of time, the time for the verdict came. Levi sighed loudly as Erwin and Jacques both gave their cases to the judge, who decided Levi was guilty- hurray, for corruption- and Levi said “tch.” He probably would have said that if he’d been ruled innocent too, though.

The verdict got a lot of yells from the young Scouts who’d come, and from Petra, and even a few members of the crowd. Hitch and Annie escorted him back outside, into his carriage, and then he was taken to a slightly smaller but much nicer cell somewhere else.

What a waste of time.


	9. Freedeom: Prison

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “If you prick us do we not bleed? If you tickle us do we not laugh? If you poison us do we not die? And if you wrong us shall we not revenge?” -William Shakespeare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *apologizes a thousand times for being a forgetful human who didn't post last week*

He spent the rest of the day sitting around doing nothing. He asked if he had a right to a final wash-up (he didn’t), or if he got to write a will (he was allowed to), if they’d give him paper (they did) and a pen (no, he could probably use that as a weapon, he got a misshapen stick of graphite). He wrote up a will, which mostly entailed that Erwin should get most of his cravats, Hange could take his cleaning supplies, and his clothes could go to whoever wanted them. He also wrote in that some of Eren’s friends should get cravats, because he felt generous, and then edited the will to make sure they’d keep his grave as neat and clean as possible. He also put in a request that Erwin went underground, gave some cravats out to Levi’s old acquaintances, and maybe donate some clothes to an orphanage, or some shit. He really didn’t care. By the late afternoon, he’d exhausted all forms of entertainment, and sat thinking quietly to himself. What a boring way to die.

He’d always assumed he’d get eaten by a Titan. Now he’d probably get hanged. Or maybe beheaded, but probably hanged. That was a load of crap, and no fun at all. It probably would’ve been funner to swap places with Eren.

He’d been distracted by recent events, but now he had some time to think about that.

He could distinctly remember the night before they’d found him. He could remember it better than that morning’s trial. Wolves had howled in the distance. They’d made camp in a high tree, and once they were certain they’d set it up they wouldn’t fall, they’d planned out their watch schedule. Petra first, then Levi, then Eren, then Hange. Levi had woken Eren, and done something he rarely ever did. He’d managed to fall asleep.

When he’d opened his eyes, the sky was pink, birds were singing, and Eren was nowhere to be found.

Levi pressed a hand to his forehead. He sensed a headache coming on. Would things have worked out differently, if he hadn’t blacked out like that?

Why hadn’t the wolves kept him up?

He couldn’t help but feel guilty. He’d fallen asleep. It might not have been his watch, but he barely slept on a good day. Why couldn’t he have stayed up then?

Just when was _his_ execution scheduled for, anyways?

He distantly wondered if it would hurt (probably), and why he wasn’t so worried. Maybe Erwin was right about acting depressed.

This cell has a window, so when the moon went down, he saw it. That was a pleasant change of pace. He tried to sleep- wouldn’t it be ironic if he got a good night’s rest before he died?- but did not. He laid awake until the moon was setting and the stars had gone out.

* * *

 

Levi was fucking exhausted, and all he wanted to do was lay down. He strode up the staircase, and grabbed the doorknob. _What the-_ it was locked? He knocked on the door.

It opened a crack, and he saw Isabel. She shut the door.

“Wha- Isabel?”

“You’re early!” she sang. “Go away!”

“Hey!” Levi banged on the door with his fists. “Cut the crap and let me in!”

“Nope! We’re not, right Farlan?”

“Nope!”

Levi frowned. “What the hell is this?”

“A surprise! Go away and come back later!”

“I live here too.”

“Go away!”

He sighed.

* * *

 

When he awoke, his door was opening. He wasn’t sure if it was good or _guess what do or die time_ but whatever the case, he didn’t sit up.

The door to his cell opened. Do or die time, then. He still didn’t rise.

A very obnoxious voice yanked him out of his angst.

_“Stop ignoring me!”_

His eyes snapped open.

“Hange? What the hell?”

Hange shook some keys over him. His eyes shot over to the window. It was still dark outside. They stepped back and he sat up.

“What’re you doing here?”

“Duh, jailbreak! We’ve got horses outside!”

_“We?”_

Hange nodded. “Petra’s keeping watch, and Jean and Erwin are outside.”

 _“Erwin_?!”

“Yup. You wanna escape, or no?”

“I-”

Hange grabbed him by the wrist and wrenched him up, pulling him out of the cell. Sure enough, Petra was keeping watch. Hange proceeded to drag him up some stairs, and then down some hallways. They moved too quickly for Levi to process anything.

Sure enough, Erwin and Jean were outside, each on a horse. Three more horses were waiting.

“Erwin, what the fuck?”

“We don’t have time for this,” he said by way of reply. Levi nodded and mounted one of the horses.

Hange and Petra both got on theirs, and they were off.

“So,” Hange called over the wind. “The plan _was_ to get you underground, but we have to make a pitstop.”

“A pitstop?”

“Yeah,” they shouted. “See, our priority _was_ saving your life and getting you to safety-”

“And now it isn’t?!”

“Thanks for understanding!”

“Something bigger’s come up,” Erwin explained, loudly.

“To be fair,” Jean yelled. “Most things are!”

Everyone laughed louder and longer than Levi found necessary.

“We’ll explain once you can hear us!” Petra said. “Okay?”

“Whatever!”

Erwin stopped his horse once they’d neared the gates, which was probably not a safe position for Levi. They’d come to a large warehouse. Armin was waiting with his hood pulled up. He took it off as they approached.

“They’re inside,” he said. “You got here just in time.”

“Who’s inside?” Levi asked.

“Bertholdt Hoover and Reiner Braun,” Petra said.

“We’ve found two, possibly three, Titan Shifters,” Erwin explained. “Lee have reason to believe they're the Colossal and the Armored Titan.”

_“What?!”_

“I know!” Hange clapped their hands. “This is so exciting!”

“Slow down,” Levi said. “Bertholdt and Reiner. The tall one and the blond one.”

“Yes.”

“Bertholdt is the _Colossal Titan_?”

“He said so,” Jean shrugged. “More or less.”

Armin turned to Hange. “Did you do it?”

“At breakfast,” they said. “Should’ve been effective.”

“And you have the antidote? You’re positive it will work?”

“Absolutely.”

“Hange poisoned them at breakfast,” Erwin said. “Same thing used on Eren, but it acts a bit faster.”

“Not fast enough, though,” Hange said. “So we need someone to sweep in and finish the job and since _you’re_ humanity’s strongest-”

“What? _Me_?”

“Yep!”

Levi sighed. “Okay, fine. What do I do?”

“They’re waiting to meet someone in there,” Petra pointed to the warehouse. “Just get in and knock them out.”

“Right.”

“There is one issue,” Armin said. “I didn’t see Reiner drink his water at breakfast. He might not have felt thirsty.”

“I tried again for lunch,” Hange added. “But they didn’t show.”

“Okay,” Levi said.

“So long as we don’t have the Armored Titan pop up in the middle of the city, though, we’re fine,” Erwin finished.

“You can do it!” Armin nearly cheered. Levi rolled his eyes.

“Do I get, I dunno, _something to hit them with_?!”

“Oh,” Hange said. “Right.”

They took off their gear and Levi strapped it on, unsheathing one of the swords. Armin picked the lock for them, and he entered as quietly as he could.

Bertholdt and Reiner were standing in a far corner. There weren’t many lights in the warehouse, so they probably couldn’t see one. He jumped away from the door as it shut and pressed himself against a dark wall. He shuffled along it as silently as he could. The two appeared to be deep in conversation.

“She should be here soon,” Reiner was saying. “She should already be here.”

“I’m sure she’s on her way,” Bertholdt said. “Calm down.”

“I don’t like it, she should be here.”

Levi wondered who “ _she_ ” was. An accomplice?

He narrowed his eyes. _The Female Titan?_

He tightened his grip on his sword.

“How’re we getting out?” Bertholdt asked.

“Dunno yet.” Reiner laughed. “Could break the walls down, but that defeats the purpose, doesn’t it?”

Bertholdt laughed awkwardly. “... Yeah.”

“Don’t worry, Annie and I’ll protect you from the big Titans.”

Bertholdt laughed again. Oh, good. They liked each other. Made things easier. Figuring it was the best and most straightforward plan, Levi lifted his sword, charged, and in the space of five seconds, he’d darted across the warehouse, into the light, and hit Bertholdt over the head with the hilt. Obviously, he crumpled to the ground.

“Hello,” Levi said. “Great news. I know you and your buddy are Shifters _and_ which Titans you turn into.”

Reiner’s eyebrows shot up and he took a step back, listening his hands. “I don’t know what you’re talking about," he said in an even voice.

“Oh, you don’t?” Levi tapped his chin thoughtfully. “Maybe I can explain it, then. You’re the Armored, he’s the Colossal, and the girl outside is the Female Titan. Am I close?” He really, really hoped Erwin and Armin had been correct.

Reiner narrowed his eyes. "No, I don't." He wasn't confused. So Levi _had_ been right.

“We’ve poisoned your friend,” Levi went on, congratulating himself for effectively using _we_ to make himself seem more powerful. “Same kind that was used on Eren, ironically enough. Your friend can’t transform if he’s unconscious, and I doubt he’ll be able to when he comes around, so let’s go over the options, shall we?”

“You-”

“If you want to get arrested for treason and shot at by canons, and if you want your friend to die, you could transform. But, if you want us to give him the antidote, you’ll follow me outside quietly and answer are questions.”

 _“You_ -”

“If you wanted,” Levi said. “I could just do a quick beheading here. I’ve heard growing back heads is difficult.”

Reiner glared at him, and nodded towards the door. “Lead the way, _captain_.”

“That’s the spirit!”

Levi dragged Bertholdt outside and Reiner trailed after. Petra was holding the same blonde woman from earlier in place, covering her mouth.

Annie and Reiner exchanged a look, and Petra hit her over the head. Her eyes rolled up into her head, and Levi knocked Reiner out as well. 

 


	10. Questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They ask me where I’ve been,  
> And what I’ve done and seen.  
> But what can I reply  
> Who know it wasn’t I,  
> But someone just like me,  
> Who went across the sea  
> And with my head and hands  
> Killed men in foreign lands...  
> Though I must bear the blame,  
> Because he bore my name.  
> -“Back” by Wilfrid Gibson

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woah a third of what i've written nice  
> i'm still not done yet  
> i  
> am   
> afraid

“How’d it go?” Hange asked Petra, who’d just emerged from where Bertholdt was being held. She had a sickening look on her face.

“Badly,” she said. “He wouldn’t talk.”

“Ooh.”

“I told him if he wouldn’t talk I’d have to send in Levi,” she said.

“Reiner wouldn’t talk either, but I didn’t even _think_ of the Levi thing! Great idea!”

“Didn’t help, though.”

Levi appeared at the end of the hall. Petra nodded him towards the door.

“I told Bertholdt you’d talk to him,” she said.

“Sure,” he said. Petra handed him a folder. He opened the door. Bertholdt was handcuffed to a table. Levi smiled in greeting.

He liked interrogations.

“So,” he said. “You’re the Colossal Titan.”

He stared down at the table and did not react. Levi headed over and sat down, opening up the folder.

This was great. He wouldn’t have been able to do this with Reiner, he’d have called bullshit, but he’d only ever exchanged a few words with Bertholdt. Hell, most of the time when he said hello in the halls, Levi pretended he hadn’t heard.

“It’s okay,” he said. “Confirming it won’t be held against you, we already have it down. Bertholdt Hoover. Correct?”

He nodded, still not looking at him.

“Well, Hoover, you’ve caused loads of damage. Broke two walls. Bet those religious nuts would _love_ to get their hands on you, huh? You killed anyone else, or was it all secondhand?” Levi looked up from the folder and smiled comfortingly. “I hope you feel like you can be honest with me.”

“Secondhand,” Bertholdt mumbled.

“That’s the truth?”

He nodded.

“See! We’re telling each other the truth. I think we’re going to be good friends Bertholdt. Now, let’s see.” Levi looked down at the folder. “Bertholdt Hoover. From an unnamed town by the wall?”

No response.

“Some things your friends have said have led us to believe that might be a lie. That you come from outside the walls. Is that true?”

No answer.

“So, what do you know about your ability? To turn into a Titan, I mean?”

Bertholdt said nothing.

“Hoover,” Levi said. “You’re trying my patience.”

“Sorry.”

“Yes, you should be.” Levi shut the folder. “Hundreds of thousands of people have died because of you. Hundreds _at_ least. And that’s an estimate.”

“I-”

“Yes, you. That’s what I’m saying.”

Bertholdt hung his head.

“So,” Levi said. “Let’s cut to the chase. This is how it goes. I ask questions and you answer. You don’t answer, we assume everything your friends have told us are lies, and that _will_ affect how we treat them. Is that clear?”

“Yes,” Bertholdt said quietly.

“Good. Let’s start with simple yes or no answers. Is your name really Bertholdt Hoover?”

“Yes.”

“Are you really from inside the walls?”

“No.”

“You’re from _outside_ the walls?”

“Yes.”

“Fascinating,” Levi said sarcastically. “You’re the Colossal Titan?”

“Yes.”

“Reiner Braun, he’s the Armored Titan?”

“Yes.”

“And Annie Leonhardt is the Female Titan?”

“Yes.”

“Annie is responsible for the numerous murders that took place during the fifty seventh expedition outside the walls?”

“I-”

“That’s a yes, Hoover. You and Braun might’ve just _created_ an opportunity for mass death, but Annie went out and caused it. You must be so proud of her. Let’s carry on, shall we? What do you know about your ability to transform into a Titan?”

“Nothing.”

“That’s a lie,” Levi snapped. “You are lying. Should we treat you like a liar?”

“Sorry,” Bertholdt said.

“Yes, you are. What do you know?”

“Next to nothing.”

“Better, please elaborate.”

“I just- I don’t- I just know how to transform, is all, none of us know a lot.”

Levi looked at him, and nodded. “Alright, I believe you. But if I found out you’ve lied to me-”

“I haven’t!”

“I don’t care, if I do, you’ll regret it. _Immensely._ ” He closed the folder. “Now, let’s continue, shall we?” He leaned forward, placing his chin on his hands. “Just what kind of a person would you say you are, Hoover?” Bertholdt gave him a startled look. “I’m asking you a question. Tell me who you are.”

“I’m the Colossal Titan… sir?”

“I said _who_ , not _what_.”

“Oh,” Bertholdt looked terrified. “I’m not anyone important.”

“Go on.”

“My name’s… Bertholdt.”

“I’d figured so much.”

“Right. Uh… there’s really not much to tell about me, I’m not very…”

“Hmmph,” Levi said. “Interesting. Levi picked the folder up, and gave Bertholdt a withering look. “Don’t think we’re finished with you yet.” He headed out, slamming the door behind him.

“How’d it go?” Petra asked. He handed her the file.

“He confessed,” he said. “They’re from outside the walls, and they knew as much about their ability to shift as Eren did.”

“Great,” Hange said. “So they _aren’t_ a goldmine?”

“No. Are we executing them?”

“No!” Hange shouted, looking panicked. “You gave him the antidote, right?!”

“Before, while he was unconscious.”

Hange breathed a sigh of relief.

“Annie confessed, apparently,” Petra said stiffly. “Reiner’s all that’s left.”

“Should I talk to him?” Levi asked.

“Actually, Pets was gonna try.” Hange threw her arm around Petra. “Reiner’s a toughie, I think he needs more of a gentle nudge.”

“Right, then.” Levi raised an eyebrow at Petra. “Best of luck.”

“Thanks,” she said, and nodded, before heading off.

“Can you believe this?!” Hange clasped their hands together. “It’s like a gift from- from- from Eren!” Levi bristled and shot them a glare. “Or something!” They grinned. “This is fantastic!”

“Forgive me if I don’t share your excitement.”

“Oh lighten _up_ , sourpuss!” Hange threw their arm around him. “Think of what this means!”

“That if they transform, it’s in the middle of the city?”

“This is a _huge_ scientific breakthrough! Now we know most of the intellectual Titans are actually Shifters! Pretty much all of them!” Hange frowned thoughtfully, lifting a hand to their chin. “What if all the variants are just idiotic Shifters?”

“That seems very, very unlikely.”

“Whatever the case, this will certainly be beneficial!” They clapped their hands together and turned to look at Levi. “Just think- someone from their home is bound to know _something_ about Titans! Hmm.”

“Their home is outside Wall Maria.”

“I’ll have to propose an expedition-”

“Hange,” Levi said. “Surely you remember the last _two or three times_ we tried to get to Wall Maria?”

Hange nodded, furrowing their brow. “You’re right. But this-”

“Hange,” Levi said. “I don’t think we need to try again anytime soon.”

“But the Female Titan won’t ruin it this time!”

“That’s a good point,” Levi said. “One single thing might be different.”

“Levi, have some _hope_ , won’t you?!”

“Hope is dead.”

“Hey!”

They both turned. Petra was jogging towards them, grinning.

“ _Your_ interrogation went well,” Hange said. “Did he try to seduce you or something?!”

Petra pulled a face. “Gross. No, it’s great! It was a little awkward at first but we got into the heart of things, and he told me some incredible things.” She nodded at the thick folder she was holding. “I actually had to take notes by the end of it.”

“Ooh! What’d you find?”

“They came here on a mission,” she said. “See, they were looking for something called the Coordinate. That’s what they were talking about when I overheard them!”

Levi frowned. “When did-”

“Shush,” Hange said.

“They believed that the power of the coordinate was with a Titan Shifter, which is why they joined the Scouts and Military Police, they’d figured those were their best options for finding out about it. So, then Eren turned out to be a Shifter, and they were pretty certain _he_ was the Coordinate, or had it, or whatever. Then Annie tried to capture him during the fifty seventh expedition, but that ultimately failed.”

“On both ends,” Levi said bitterly. _“She_ should be executed.”

“No,” Hange shook their head. “For _science_ , Levi.”

“Honestly-”

“And,” Petra continued. “Apparently they tried to kidnap Eren like, three other times, but no one’s noticed?”

“How do you not _notice_ kidnapping attempts?”

“Dunno! But, now that Eren’s dead, all their leads are gone, and their plan was to just go home.”

That would sound innocent, if not for the things they’d done to get there.

“Too bad,” Levi said.

“Wait,” Petra said. “It gets better.”

“Oh, _great_.”

“So, while we were talking, we discussed the fifty seventh expedition a little-”

“Why would you do that?” Levi said.

 _“Closure_ ,” Petra snapped. “Find some, and quit interrupting.”

“Tch.”

Hange laughed.

“I mentioned Eren’s attic, or basement, or storage room or whatever it was.”

“Bathroom,” Hange sniggered. “His bathroom of secrets.”

“He was really interested in that so we talked about it a little, and he said he’d like to go there.”

“Ha!” Hange shouted, and turned to point at Levi. “An expedition _can’t_ fail if we have _three_ Titan Shifters! Three!”

“That’s what I was thinking!” Petra opened up her folder. “Eren lived in Siganshina, so by making our way over there, we’d also be taking _them_ to the edge of Wall Maria, _and_ we could all stop by to see what we could find out about Titans!”

“Flawless!” Hange said. “Pets! You are a _genius_! See, Levi, _this_ is inspiration.”

“A few flaws in your flawless plan,” Levi said. Petra sighed, and nodded for him to continue. “First, supposing our lovely Shifters _do_ need to come back in and find their Coordinate or some shit, then what?”

“Well,” Petra thought. “I suppose they’d have to get to the outer walls themselves, and then we could let them in.”

“Right, right. Let’s pretend that’ll work. But the biggest problem I see- there are two, actually. First, none of us know where in Shiganshina Eren lived. Second, his basement was _locked_.”

“I think we can pick a lock,” Hange said.

“What if you can’t? What if you mess up, mangle the lock, and it’s stuck?”

“We could break the door-”

“And risk what’s inside? And, you want us to search Shiganshina for a _house_?”

“I-”

“ _No._ ” Levi said. “You both realize this so called genius plan of yours requires us to take Armina and Mikasa, _and_ find Eren’s body.”

“Why do we have to-”

“The key.”

“What key?” Petra asked.

“The key he wore everywhere.”

“He wore a key everywhere?”

“Yes,” Levi said. “Every day. It was under his shirt sometimes, but he even slept with it on.”

“How do you know that?!”

“I… pay attention.” Levi adjusted his collar. “How was it you managed to get all of that out of Reiner so quickly?”

“Charm,” Hange sighed. “I mean, look at her. She’s gifted.”

“I just tried to be nice,” Petra said, blushing.

“She even got more info than you! What did _you_ know about the Coordinate, huh, Levi?”

“I didn’t think to ask.”

“Anyways,” Hange said. “Why don’t _you_ go bathe, and we’ll go talk to Erwin, and hopefully we can leave before the Military Police come looking for you!”

“I’m supposed to come on this?”

“You’re funny,” Hange said. “Let’s go!”


	11. Go Fish

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the late update! I've finally figured out how long the first chunk of this is going to be. There will be a part two, though! This whole section will about about 30 chapters, not sure about the next.

_It was raining blood._

_Levi stared into an empty eye as it came down all around him. Rushing, blown by wind, hailing from crimson-black clouds. He stared into an empty green eye and it didn’t stare back._

_Instead of grass, there were bodies._

_Instead of earth, there were bodies._

_A sweet, putrid scent threatened to choke him and still the blood came down, and still he stared down. He reached forward, for Eren’s strand of a neck. He had to get the key. The key. The key._

_“Hey!”_

_He started and looked up. A boy sat on a horse, his hood slipping down._

_“Hey!” Eren said. “Quit zoning out!”_

“Lee _viii_ …”

Levi sat up sharply, colliding with something, and fell back down.

“Gah!” he put his hand up to his head, and looked around. Hange was sprawled on the ground. “Jesus Christ, Hange! What the hell are you doing?!”

“I can’t believe you were actually a _sleep_ ,” they said, dazed. “You looked so cute-”

“Shut up!” Levi yanked his pillow out from under him and threw it at them. They shrieked. “What did you want?”

“Erwin wants to talk to you. Also, we just got a message from the Military Police and I think they’re gonna come search the place, so you _might_ wanna get dressed.”

Levi cursed and jumped up to do so, glaring at Hange. They lifted their hands and backed out of the room. In a moment, Levi emerged, fully dressed.

“Did Erwin say what he needed me for?” he asked, adjusting his cravat.

“It’s probably about the expedition,” Hange replied.

“Oh,” Levi said. “That’s happening?”

“Isn’t it _great_?!”

“Not really, no.”

“Cheer _up_ , Levi! Things are actually turning around!”

“No they aren’t,” Levi sighed. “They’re starting to turn around. This is where you all get _excited_ , and then about fifty percent of the Scouts get wiped out, and things turn _back_ around.”

“That’s not gonna happen this time.”

“How do you think we’ll get _back_ from Shigansina?”

“Pshh, we don’t need to worry about that. We’ll have the secret to Titans!”

“I can’t believe you’re alive,” Levi said. “I really, honestly can’t believe you’re alive.”

They reached Erwin’s office. Hange opened the door.

“Ravioli’s here!”

Erwin and Petra were going over various papers that had been strewn across the desk. They looked up. Erwin grinned.

“Levi!”

His mood had improved since they’d last seen met. Levi nodded in greeting and crossed over to the desk.

"What're we looking at?"

"Maps," Petra said. "We'd typically leave from a gate closer to Shiganshina-"

"But we aren't sure if we could get _you_ there," Erwin finished.

Oh, great. He _was_ going too.

"And the Titans?"

"Bert, Reiner, and Annie? Petra and Hange had a pretty good idea regarding that."

"See," Hange said. "People have certain pressure points on their bodies, that can supplement or block their energy flow. If we can alter their energy flow-"

"What the fuck."

"Furthermore," Hange went on. "I think if we leave one of them here, the other two won't do anything. Because if they did, they'd endanger _them_."

"See, that actually makes sense. Who else is going?"

"Armin and Mikasa," Petra answered. “Since they know… since they have the location, and then we’ll probably take _some_ volunteers.”

“It’s going to be a large operation,” Erwin said. “But it’s going to be kept secret, which should be difficult, but we’ll do what we can.”

Petra nodded. “The key is finding the right balance. We’re members of the 104th will be coming, since they seem likely to volunteer, and are working out who else we can trust that we won’t need here.”

“If we do hold back one of the Shifters,” Erwin added. “We think it will be Annie, since the last time _she_ was out there, and we were on an expedition-”

“So why am I here,” Levi folded his arms. “If you’ve got it all worked out?”

“We want your input, trusted Captain,” Hange said, patting him on the head. Levi scowled.

He turned to Hange. “ _You’re_ insane,” and to Petra, “ _You’_ re probably going to get killed. I think the whole thing is stupid,” Levi said, giving Erwin a glare. “And I don’t know why you’re going along with it.”

Hange shushed him.

“Frankly,” Erwin raised an eyebrow. “We’re at a dead end otherwise, Levi. Unless you have any plans to save humanity?” Levi could’ve suggested some more years of stalemate, but did not. He narrowed his eyes at Erwin, who smiled. “Since we’re all in agreement, we’ll set out as soon as we can. Petra, you discuss the matter with Armin and Mikasa, Hange, you see to the preparations and Levi, you compile a list of Scouts you think should go. Our goal is to leave within the week. Levi, you need to go sleep in our basements.”

“What?!”

“I just glanced out my window, and there are police down there. Get down and lock the doors, that way they won’t find you or our Shifters.”

“Fine,” Levi snapped. “Sounds horrid, but fine.”

“Oh!” Hange snapped their fingers. “I’ll go neaten up your room. Maybe I’ll cry on your bed for effect.”

Petra’s eyes widened. “Good idea!”

“Don’t encourage them!” Levi said. “I’ll be off, then.” He turned on his heel and left the office at a brisk pace, taking a back route down the stairs and to their basements. They were currently keeping the Shifters down there, in separate rooms of course, because the threat of the Military Police finding and executing them was rather large. The Scouts had always had a series of basements that weren’t exactly _part_ of their headquarters. The entrance looked like a closet.

Levi entered the closet and took great care to rearrange all it contained so the back door would be covered, then he locked it behind him and came out of the closet.

It was dead silent. He wished he’d brought a book or something.

No, it wasn’t dead silent.

Levi frowned. He could hear voices. For a moment he panicked, thinking perhaps the Military Police were outside, and tried to quiet his breathing. He sat flat against the wall, not daring to move and very low on oxygen, for at least five- perhaps even ten- minutes before he realized the voices were coming from the other direction. Levi frowned in annoyance and let his breathing go even.

What the hell was going on now?

He stood up and headed down the hallway. The door to the room Reiner was being kept in was open.

Jesus fucking Christ. Levi sped up.

“Hey, Bert, do you have any nines?”

“Mm, no.”

“Dammit.”

“Go fish.”

Jesus. Fucking. Christ.

Levi reached the door and looked through. The three were sitting in a circle and playing cards. Not just cards, they were playing Go Fish. Go fucking Fish.

“Hey, Annie,” Bertholdt glanced down at his cards. “Have any… threes?”

Annie jutted out her jaw and tossed him a card, Bertholdt grinned with childlike innocence and set his cards down in a neat pile with several others. Annie looked annoyed to have lost her card.

“Reiner, have any nines?”

_“Jesus_!” Reiner said, and shoved three cards at her. “No, I don’t need these at all!”

Annie smirked and sat down her set of cards, Reiner looked through his rapidly.

“Bert, tens?”

“Here.”

“Yes!”

They were actually playing Go Fish. _What the hell?_ And apparently, they were so immersed in the game, they hadn’t even noticed him.

“Annie, have any-”

Levi coughed. The three froze and looked up at him, Bert in the process of reaching out for the deck. It was almost comical.

“I hope I’m not intruding,” Levi said.

They exchanged a look before turning their eyes back up to Levi. Silence.

“Corporal,” Reiner said. “There is a perfectly legal and logical explanation for what you see before you.”

“And what’s that?”

“Well, you see… er… there was…”

Bertholdt nodded in agreement. Levi pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed before entering and sitting down, sweeping seven cards up off the deck.

“Er,” Reiner nodded and looked away. “Right, then. Bert, it was your turn.”

“Ann- um, Captain, do you have any fours?”

“No. Go fish.”

Bertholdt nodded and took a card, Levi turned to Annie.

“Have any sevens?”

She scowled and gave him one. Levi couldn’t help but appreciate her attitude.

“Reiner, any twos?”

“No, go fish.”

“This is a stupid game,” Levi said. “Also, your card deck is faulty.”

Bertholdt glanced up, clearly concerned. “It is?”

“Annie put down four nines. I have a nine. Either she’s bluffing, or you have a lot of nines.”

“You have a lot of nines,” Annie said.

“That or she mixed up a nine and a six.”

“I did _not_.”

“I think we’re short fives, too,” Reiner said. “Since we’ve played with these, like, six times and I’ve only ever seen one or two.”

“Oh, dammit.” Bertholdt picked up the deck and looked through it. “Do any of you have any fives?”

They all shook their heads. Bertholdt sighed.

“Let’s play something else,” Annie said. “We’ve been playing Go Fish for two hours.”

“Okay!” Bertholdt took their cards and started shuffling them carefully. “What do you want to play? Um, should I deal you in, Captain?”

“Yes.”

“Right. B.S., then?”

“Sure,” Reiner said.

Half an hour later, Levi set down his final card and won, and they began anew. He won two more times, nearly losing once to Reiner. Annie was difficult to play against, because she seemed to wear the same, disinterested face no matter the circumstance, but Reiner and Bertholdt seemed capable calling her out on her lies, so Levi let them be and only intervened when it was necessary to win. Levi enjoyed victory.

They played for awhile, until someone came down into the basement to fetch Levi. That someone was Petra, who stuck her head in the door. She didn’t seem fazed.

“They gone?” he asked, before she could say anything.

“Yes, but there is a…”

“Fantastic,” Levi dropped his cards. “I forfeit, back to your rooms.” He didn’t stop to check for a reaction, trusting Petra to deal with them and quickly leaving the basement. He hastened up the staircase and did not look back.

Upstairs, Hange was shrieking.


	12. The Fifty Ninth Expedition: Hange's Journal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I watched you run to catch a trace of you” -Peter Bradley Adam

Hange was racing around the upper hallways and surrounding rooms, glasses slipping down their nose and clutching several folders, nearly spilling papers on the floor. They were shouting out undecipherable words, voice cracking and swinging, and Levi had absolutely no idea what was going on.

“Hange,” he said, but they did not appear to hear and started shaking one of the news recruits. He rushed over.

“Hange,” he repeated. “Hange, calm down. What’s going on?”

They ignored him and spun on their heel, racing away. Levi followed after them at a jog.

“Hange!”

Hange sprinted into their lab and Levi did the same; they began rushing around once more and picking up and dropping papers, shuffling them and throwing them onto the ground.

“Hange, is something wrong?”

_“Yes!”_

“Is something missing?”

Hange screamed something that made Levi’s head hurt and was very unclear, and shoved half of their papers off of their desk before kneeling down and scrambling to look through them.

“Hange, calm down. Can you tell me what’s missing?”

_“They aren’t here! They aren’t anywhere!”_

“Hange!” Levi ordered. “Put your papers down and pull yourself together!”

Hange paused, still crouching, and looked up. Their glasses fell to the bottom of their nose, and they squinted.

“Hange,” Levi said, crossing over. “I need you to listen to me for a moment. Can you tell me what’s missing?”

Hange stared at him, then pushed up their glasses.

“I had a journal documenting Eren,” they said quietly. “Everything from the past six to eight months were in it.”

Levi narrowed his eyes. “Six to eight months?”

“Yes. Every new development was in it. See, I swapped over to using it entirely and it had become more of a _folder_ than a journal, really, and-”

“And now it’s nowhere?”

Hange nodded weakly.

“Where’s the last place you saw it?”

Hange pointed to their desk drawer. “I like to keep it somewhere safe, easy to access but not plainly visible.”

“And now it’s not in there.”

“Uh-huh,” Hange said, lip trembling. “I- that had _everything_ \- It was- it was about Eren-”

Levi clapped them on the shoulder. “Alright. Now I want you to neaten up all of your papers, alright?” Hange nodded and rose, Levi straightened and turned to look through the desk drawers. “When’s the last time you saw it in here?”

“This morning. I had it with me while I was talking to Erwin and Petra, then put it away and went to wake you up.”

So it couldn't have been the three Shifters. They’d have had to be speedy to sneak out of their cells and upstairs, and back downstairs. It would barely allow for time to get into the office.

“You’re sure you put it away? It’s not in Erwin’s office?”

“I’ve _been_ in Erwin’s office,” Hange said. “After the Police came-”

They fell silent. Levi turned to look at them.

“They searched in here,” Hange whispered. “They- they took it, they-”

“Don’t jump to-”

 _“Erwin!”_ Hange screamed, jumping up and stumbling out of the room so fast, Levi was shocked they didn’t fall over. He moved to follow her. By the time a half hour had passed Petra had returned, and she, Levi, Erwin, and several Scouts were all trying to console a sobbing Hange. Their cloak was hanging over their shoulder and their face was full of huge, wet tears, they were shaking, and it seemed like their voice had been rendered useless.

“I made tea,” Armin offered, trying to hand them a cup. Hange did not appear to notice him. They cried a moment longer before she started screaming again. Levi sighed. They were beginning to get unprofessional.

“It’s okay, shh, shh,” Krista said, rather like she was trying to comfort a small child, and Sasha did the same while copying Armin’s idea, but with food. Nothing seemed to be having any affect, but everyone had been locked into their positions and were now obligated to see this through.

“This might be a bad time to bring this up,” Erwin said. “But since most of our expected recruits are here-”

“Jesus,” Levi muttered.

“What?”

“It _is_ a bad time to bring this up.”

“But we have to see you off soon. It’s a mission to go to Shinganshina, and make it to Eren’s house, where many secrets about Titans are expected to be, it should be very different from past expeditions in terms of losses, especially since the Female Titan is no longer a threat.”

“Unless there are other Shifters we don’t know about,” Petra said.

“That seems very unlikely,” Ymir said from next to Krista.

“Either way, the three people most likely to endanger the mission are now _not_ going to endanger the mission, though they will be going with you. It’s also going to operate in absolute secrecy.”

“You might be overselling us a bit,” Levi said. “With all your work-alongside-enemies and secrecy bullshit.”

“Levi, Nanaba, and Petra are all going! And you too, right Arlert?” Armin nodded. “And Hange’s going as well!”

Everyone was reminded of the hysterical Hange. Apparently they’d pulled themselves together during the distraction, because they were now cleaning off their glasses and grinning, cheeks dry.

“That’s right! We expect to learn a lot and I _personally_ think it has a _very high_ success rate. I strongly recommend you all come. Expeditions like this only come once in a lifetime!”

“This will be my third in a year,” Levi muttered. _They can’t be for real._

“It’ll be fun!” Petra said, and looked to Levi.

“… I do think it might be possible less people will die than normal,” Levi said.

“Good try,” Petra whispered, low enough that only Erwin heard her. He nodded.

* * *

 

In what Erwin, Petra, and Hange referred to as “absolute secrecy,” roughly half of the Survey Corps were approached and asked about their interest in joining a theoretical expedition. They were all “investigated thoroughly” during the next day. They all seemed keen on the idea of bringing along people who’d trained alongside Eren. “Closure,” Petra had said. Jean, Ymir, Krista, Connie, Sasha, and of course Mikasa and Armin were all to join them, not to mention Bertholdt, Reiner, and Annie- though they would be divided into separate squads. Levi and Hange looked through the interested parties and selected who would go along, forming five squads, each with seven members and a captain. The best route was decided to be leaving through a side gate to avoid the Titans gathered near the wall, and circle around to Shiganshina. The largest foreseeable obstacle was the danger of running low on supplies, and Titans entering from Shiganshina, but they were more than capable of handling that. It was the unforeseeable that tended to kill them.

“Levi, check this out.”

“What’s it now?” he asked, trotting over to Hange. They shoved a brown cube at him. “The hell is this?” He held it between his fingers and frowned. “It feels like old wood.”

“It’s a pellet.”

“A _what_?”

“I’m working on compromising full meals into pellets.”

“What?”

“I’m seeing how they taste. Eat it.”

Levi shrugged and tossed it into his mouth, frowning. “It tastes like wood.”

“Great!”

“No?”

“I’ll tell Erwin they’re ready. Thanks!”

“I don’t- I’m not eating _pellets_ , Hange-”

With assistance from Petra, Levi brought bags to some of the Corps going on the mission and told them in advance to start smuggling food. They would not be punished, and God knew they would need it. They even warned the Shifters, because, as Petra put it, “no one should have to endure these.”

Hange had tried pellets out before. It hadn’t worked.

Water bottles were filled, lies were told to officials, and bags were packed. It was decided that Bertholdt, Reiner, and Annie’s abilities were to be kept secret from anyone who was not on a squad with one of them. All the Scouts going were gathered in a room so bags could be handed out, supplies packed, and so they could all be debriefed. Levi declined to be involved in any of this, and instead stayed in his room. He packed clothes and wound disinfectants, just in case. He’d once had a man who’d died of infection after he failed to dress a wound properly. Right before they’d made it home, too. He also brought a pan and matches. Levi was adept at these things.

Horses were set up near the gate they’d be departing from. Erwin arranged for it to be open, everyone would make their way over at night.

After he gave a heartening speech, they departed.

It was dark outside, not pitch-black, but early evening- though it felt much lighter than normal. Maybe it was the moon, maybe it was the stars, the windows, but Levi felt like it was broad daylight. Any moment someone would come around a corner and see them. He was sure of it. They were low-flying birds; they ran across the rooftops with craned necks and leapt the gaps between them, using their gear sparingly. After what felt like ages, they reached the edges of the buildings. Several members of the Garrison Regiment waited with horses.

“Mount,” Levi ordered quietly. There were nods and the recruits went to mount their steeds.

“We can’t tell you how grateful we are,” Petra thanked a small, blonde woman.

She pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose. “Just make sure it wasn’t a waste of time,” she said.

“We will!”

 _“Open gate!”_ the woman hissed. Levi turned and saw that the gate had been opened partially in preparation. Now, it opened all the way.

“Move,” Levi instructed, and the troops started out, the horses shuffling through the gates. Petra thanked the woman again, and all went silent. Levi turned. “Squad leaders, is everyone through?” There were no objections, no raised hands, no shouts of names. “Close the gates!” They groaned and shut. “Move out!” Levi shouted, kicking into the sides of his horse, and starting off at a fast pace. “Squad leaders, you have your assignments! Into formation, _now_!”

The horses divided into small groups, the front ones speeding up to race ahead. The fifth group, in the back, slowed to a near trot to let them get ahead. Levi was heading the fourth squad, in the middle of the formation, containing Mikasa, Jean, Bertholdt, a new Scout named Donovan, Krista, and a woman named Leanne. They were all quite skilled, but very young, which was different. Hange branched off with the first squad, whose members included Reiner, Connie, Sasha, and several more experienced Scouts Levi didn’t know the names of. Petra was heading the third and westernmost squad, which Annie was a part of. Nanaba had the second, eastern squad. Levi was not sure who was on it, only knowing Armin and Ymir were there. The fifth squad was headed by a man named Johann, selected by Erwin, and various scouts with sharp eyes who could keep watch from behind.

Levi glanced around. The squads had all spread out; second and third were getting farther away, and the first was quickly growing distant. He sped his horse up, signaling that his squad needed to hasten their pace as well, and the fifth squad son disappeared from view, alongside the first. The night wind swept through Levi’s hair, blowing the hood of his cloak down. He looked back to make sure his squad was keeping up with him. Donovan fell behind once, but the area seemed to be safe.

 _“_ Captain _,_ ” Mikasa called. Levi turned. A red flare shot up from the east, and then another from ahead of them. A bright streak of green shot up from the first squad.

“Titans to the South-East!” He commanded. “Veer west!”

Their horses turned; Levi looked back to make sure no one (particularly Bertholdt) was doing anything stupid. Like heading directly towards them.

Fortunately they weren’t, though a few nervous glances were thrown that direction. The horses hooves thundered on, and still the night grew darker.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's the most random OC named Donovan in this fic and he plays absolutely no role at all except that he exists?
> 
> Edit: I will not update until June 15, because of end-of-semester such. Although, I could do biweekly updates in the summer, if you guys are up for it? Let me know.


	13. Pa-Ools

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Or, the chapter I wrote without thinking, otherwise known as, everyone gets drunk and strips. I'm not kidding. Why did I write this. Prepare for badly written gays.
> 
> Also, regular updates again! So, have fun!

After endless hours, riding a horse gets tiresome, particularly when you run long and straight. Levi’s hands began to grow stiff, his legs sore, and his eyes were aching. Several times he tossed one of Hange’s pellets into his mouth. It wasn’t food, and it wasn’t nourishing, but it did make him slightly less hungry. Slightly.

At midnight, it became difficult to see anything. The Survey Corps emblem shone out, moonlight bouncing off of it, and eventually, the sky began to lighten just as they neared one of the large forests of the area. Levi slowed his horse.

“We continue on until we meet squad one, and converge with the others,” he called out. “And then we make camp.”

A loud, relieved sigh came from somewhere in the back. Levi hurried his horse into the thick woods.

 _“Hange!”_ Levi shouted, and fired one of the sound-emitting flares. It let out a low, growling sound, and then a yell answered him.

Sasha appeared from above, landing unsteadily on the ground.

“Location?”

“We’re in the woods,” she began.

“I’ve noticed.”

“I meant a little ways further! Some people have started to make camp, but a fire’s being built. For dinner!”

“Fan _tastic_ ,” Jean said. Levi nodded, and dismounted. The squad led their horses farther down, until the fire came into view. A few Scouts were keeping lookout. It was still dark out, but was getting light quickly. The other three squads did not join them, but several pitch-flares alerted them that they had entered the forest. They’d decided to stay separate, to keep up formation. Several Corps warmed up their food with the fire, then they all shot off into the trees. Camp was made high up in the trees, above the heads of any Titan, and each tied themselves to a branch so they would not fall. Levi and Hange assigned guard posts, with two people awake at all times.The shifts did not include Reiner and Bertholdt, who made their bed in two smaller branches, side by side.

Just as everyone began to drift off, Jean, always needing to have the last word, thought it would be a brilliant idea to suddenly say “Good _mor_ ning everyone!” That earned quite a few laughs from the delirious teenagers, and Levi rolled his eyes. He forced himself to fall asleep after his shift, because it was getting light and, though he did not like it, he had to rest before they set off.

He woke up before the day had ended. A Titan had discovered their camp and was shaking the tree. He dealt with his, killing it quickly, and then went to get some more shut eye. The whole group began to wake up before the sun went down, and some of the early risers were sent out to make sure there were no nearby Titans.

“It’s freezing out!” Jean declared loudly, after being one of the last people to wake up. Someone threw a blanket at him. Squad one was already beginning to move out.

“Hurry up, asshat,” Donovan said to Jean, which seemed to bug him. Levi didn’t know why, it was true.

“Anyone who wants breakfast, eat it cold,” Levi instructed, knowing there’d be a fuss if he didn’t warn them. There were some nods; a few people got food out from their packs. Some idiots tossed pellets into their mouths. Even more things Levi couldn’t understand. “Squad four, we’re heading out. Unmounted, lead your horses.”

The night followed a slow, tiresome pace. Two or three Titans came along; easy to deal with in the trees. The hours dragged on. Legs grew sore, feet grew tired, and they continued walking.

In the later hours, a bloodcurdling scream came from the west. Many of Levi’s squad stopped walking, turning to stare. Several moments later, a pink flare appeared overhead. Someone had been lost.

“Keep moving,” Levi instructed. The trees began to thin out.

The first squad was waiting for them. Hange waved, and they approached them.

“What would you say the time is?” Levi asked.

“Hello to you too,” Hange said. Unsurprisingly, when his squad caught up, Bertholdt immediately ran over to talk to Reiner, and Connie and Sasha joined Mikasa and Jean. Donovan tried to join them in conversation.

“Hello. What would you say the time is?”

“It’s quite late, but it isn’t early yet. The moon will set in an hour or so, then we’ve got a bit of time before sunrise. Are we going to try for more ground?”

“I don’t know,” Levi frowned. “If the sun rises before we reach the next forest, we may have to deal with Titans.”

“But if we stop now we add a whole other day.”

“Precisely. If we run low on rations…”

“We may as well shoot for the next forest,” Hange said fiercely. “Speed is a priority.”

“Alongside safety,” Levi nodded. “At sunrise, we merge groups.”

“Clever idea!” Hange pulled out a flare and fired a white stream of smoke into the sky. “Squad one! We’re heading out! Come on, people, quickly!”

Reiner said something to Bertholdt and mounted his horse; Sasha and Connie both rushed to theirs. They all rode off.

“Squad four, mount. Slow your pace, speed may be needed later.”

Their own squad rode off as well. Levi fired a second white flare into the sky, to make sure the fifth squad got the message.

The went on in silence, until the moon was gone. The sky began to lighten. They had to reach the next forest soon, or the sun would rise first. Levi narrowed his eyes. The first squad had slowed, and come into view. _“Hange!”_ he urged his horse onward, racing to join them.

 _“Hey!”_ Jean shouted, and the squad came up behind him.

“Next forest is too far away,” Hange said in greeting. Levi swore and turned to his squad.

“We’re riding today,” he announced.

“And merging squads,” Hange added.

Levi nodded. “That too. Obviously, you should be alert. If you intend to eat, do it now, before the sun comes out.”

Sasha yelled something and ripped her pack open. Levi sighed. Of course _she_ would feel the need to do that. Her hunger was her most prominent trait, after all.

After a few moments they took off once more, moving at a quick pace.

Hange turned back, then gave Levi a look.

“What is it?”

“Did squad five enter the forest?”

Levi looked back at the woods. “I’m not sure.” He frowned. “I don’t remember hearing a flare.”

“I think I might’ve,” Hange said. “But shouldn’t they be out by now?”

“Probably.”

“Maybe they didn’t come out?”

Levi turned. “Mikasa!” he shouted. She rode up to join them. “You’re fast. Ride back into the woods and see if squad five is there. We’ll slow our pace.”

She nodded, turning her horse around and galloping away. Jean sped up to ride next to Levi and Hange.

“Where’s Mikasa going?”

“She’s checking on squad five,” Levi said.

“By herself?”

“Do you have a problem with that?”

“No, sir. But by herself?”

“If you think she’s not capable, tell her, not me.”

“Right,” Jean said, and slowed down to join Connie and Sasha.

“Children are weird,” Levi said.

Hange snorted. “You’re one to talk, shortstack.”

“You’re one to talk, person I could easily kill.”

“Point taken.”

The sky began to whiten and turn pink. Hange said something about wishing they could sketch this, and Levi ignored them. The sun began to rise. Someone in the back yawned loudly.

Reiner rode up next to Levi. “Good morning, Corporal.”

“No, it isn’t.”

“Er, right. Anyways, I’ve been thinking-”

“There’s your first problem.”

“Levi,” Hange said. “At least pretend to care.”

“Right.”

“I’ve been thinking,” Reiner went on, clearly annoyed. “Since we’re riding at daytime isn’t the rather obvious solution to clear the path of Titans?”

“What a brilliant idea,” Levi said sarcastically.”

“But, see, if Annie transformed-”

“Wow,” Levi said. “Hange, he might be the smartest Scout I’ve ever met. Why don’t we let Annie transform into her Titan form? It could only trigger two or three people, and she might _not_ kill half of us this time!”

“But-” Reiner protested.

“Why are you still here?” Levi snapped.

“Never mind, then,” he muttered, and rode back over to Bertholdt.

“Those two are awfully close,” Hange said.

“I know. They’re co-conspirators.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Whatever.”

Hange laughed. “You’re completely insufferable!”

Mikasa rode up from behind, slowing to join them. “I didn’t see anyone in the forest, and there was no response.”

“Oh, well that’s just _great._ Is your horse tired?”

“I don’t think so.”

Levi pulled up his horse, Hange slowed as well. The whole squad came to a halt.

“We have a problem,” Hange called.

 _What else is new,_ Levi thought. “The fifth squad never left the last forest, and it’s possible they never even entered.”

“Should we separate?” Hange asked.

“Briefly. Should we seperate?”

“Mm,” Levi said. “I’ll trade you Donovan for Reiner.”

Reiner nudged Berholt. “H _ey_ , we might be together.”

“Because of Annie?” Hange asked.

“Yes.”

“Oh,” Bertholdt said.

“A valid point.” Hange nodded. “Let’s trade.”

Donovan moved to join Hange’s group.

“Okay, move out!” Hange said.

The two squads separated once more, this time moving faster than before. They rode for several hours. After some time, Levi began to feel as though something were off. It took him quite awhile to realize that, while the sun was high in the sky, they had not encountered the second squad. He slowed his own squad down. The squad should at least be visible in the distance, if there were moving quickly. Had no one left the forest?

“We’re turning around,” Levi said in a low voice. “Keep your eyes peeled. Who here knew someone on the second squad?”

There was no answer for a moment, and then Mikasa said, “Armin was on that squad.”

“And Nanaba,” Leanne added, but no one seemed to hear her.

There were general murmurs among the group; nearly everyone had been a part of the 104th. Levi really was surrounded by children.

“Well, then,” Levi said. “Don’t get your hopes to high up. Come on.”

They started off, looking around for the second squad. After about an hour, black dots appeared in the distance. They grew into the ruins of a village. Dark, stone buildings crumbled into the ground. A tarnished sign on one read _INN_ , another, _PAuL’S._ Some of the breaks in the stone buildings looked more recent.

“Why isn’t the _U_ capitalized?” Krista whispered.

“I think the top part wore off?” Reiner said.

“Oh.”

There was a creaking sound. A blank sign on another building was swinging low. Now, it fell. That settled it.

“Something definitely happened,” Levi said. “Look around.”

Some in-depth searching revealed a few dark stains on the ground. Bertholdt successfully located a fallen pack, still containing a few flares and some food that was clearly new.

“Is anyone around?” Krista shouted. There was no response.

“Oi!” Jean yelled. “Armin!”

 _“Armin!”_ Mikasa repeated.

“Nanaba!” Levi yelled. Still, no reply. “Who else was on the squad?!”

Krista gasped loudly. “Ymir!” she screamed, jumping off of her horse. “Y _mir_!”

“Shit!” Jean said. “Ymir was here, too?”

_“Ymir!”_

_“Armin!”_

_“Nanaba!”_

“They must’ve been decimated,” Levi said. “I-”

There were some loud sounds from a pile of rubble nearby, causing most everyone to jump. Mikasa rushed over, followed by Jean and Bertholdt. The three started digging in earnest. Some coughing came from inside the pile. Mikasa shouted something out and practically pushed Bertholdt and Jean away in her digging, finally pulling out a bedraggled, but alive, Armin. She kicked away the rest of the rubble and half-carried, half-dragged him over. Krista continued looking for Ymir.

“Armin!” Jean said. “Wake up!” He hit him over the face, which did nothing. Levi pulled out his water rations and poured some over his face.

Armin coughed, then blinked open his eyes, reaching up to wipe the liquid off his face. He sat up and looked around silently, clearly confused. Then, his eyes widened as he realized what was going on.

“Report,” Levi said.

“Where’s Ymir?!” Armin said.

“I’m pretty sure Ymir’s- you know-” Jean said. Armin shook his head rapidly.

“No! She- Ymir- she has to have-”

“Well,” Reiner said. “None of us saw her-”

 _“Ymir!”_ Krista shouted, and raced over into a half-demolished building. She emerged with Ymir, and waved. _“I found her!”_

Armin stared at them, looking rather like a startled deer. Jean patted him on the head. Ymir seemed to be completely unscathed. She and Armin locked eyes, and Armin looked down purposefully.

“Alright then,” Levi said. “Someone, give a report.”

“Herd of Titans,” Ymir said. “From the direction of Maria. We were swarmed.”

Armin nodded. Ymir gave him a scathing look. “Why is it that _you’re_ always the one who makes it out fine?”

“You’re fine too,” Krista pointed out.

“Right.” Ymir said.

“Quite fine.”

“I- oh. Well. Armin fell and hit his head, part of a building got knocked on top of him. It was pretty much just me after that, but there was still a Titan hanging around-”

“No kidding,” Armin said. Ymir glared at him again.

“So I ducked into one of the buildings, and they wandered off.”

“Right,” Armin said. “ _They_ wandered. Off.”

“Are you alright?” Jean asked Armin.

“What? No! Yes! I’m fine!”

“Well,” Levi said. “It’s getting relatively late. I think we can get away with making camp for the evening. I’d wager the Inn is safe.”

“But what about Pa-ool’s?” Krista said.

“Why did you say it like that?” Ymir asked.

“Because it’s a little _u_. Not uppercase, see?”

“I think it just wore away. Say the name again?”

“Pa-ools?”

Ymir laughed.

“The inn probably has beds,” Mikasa said.

“I do like sleeping in beds,” Jean nodded.

“Bert and me will check out Paul’s,” Reiner suggested. Levi pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Look, Reiner. I don’t hate you. I really don’t.”

“I think that means he likes you,” Mikasa said quietly.

“But I do not, in any way, trust you, or Bertholdt. You are quite literally responsible for genocide.”

“I said I was sorry,” Bertholdt mumbled.

“You’re right,” Reiner said. “I could quite possibly commit genocide in Paul’s.”

“I’m confused,” Krista said.

“Okay,” Levi said. “You know what, go. Go enjoy the splendors of Paul, whoever he may be.”

“Me too,” Ymir told Krista.

“Let’s go to Pa-ool’s too!” Krista suggested. She snatched Ymir by the hand. “Come on, Bert, Reiner!”

“Okay!” Reiner agreed. He and Bert followed them.

“Jesus,” Levi said. “Alright, let’s go check out the inn.”

They looked around, finding several dusty bedrooms, and a kitchen. Bert, Reiner, Ymir, and Krista returned in high spirits.

“It’s a pub!” Krista said. “Pa-ool owned a pub!”

“We found alcohol!” Reiner cheered. Bertholdt and Ymir each set down a box. _“Do you have any idea how old this is?_ I’m gonna get _soo_ drunk!”

“That’s really unprofessional.”

“Mikasa,” Levi said. “I think you might be the only person here who understands me.” Reiner started passing out drinks. “No one take drinks from them!”

“Yeah,” Jean snorted. “How stupid are you guys?”

“But it’s _rum_ ,” Armin said.

“Oh my god. Really? You guys found _rum_?”

“And brandy,” Bertholdt said.

“We are getting _drunk!_ ” Jean shouted.

“This is the worst possible thing that could happen on a mission,” Levi sighed loudly.

“Armin,” Mikasa said. “You shouldn’t be drinking that.” Armin looked up with a hurt expression. “You shouldn’t drink a lot of that,” Mikasa amended.

“Should _I_ be drinking it?” Jean asked.

“I really couldn’t care less what you do.”

Reiner, finding difficulty with one of the bottles, shut it in the door. He managed to break off the top, and raced into the inn’s kitchen. “Hey, did you guys find the cups? Nevermind!” He emerged with dusty glasses, and started pouring rum for himself.

“I cannot believe this is happening,” Mikasa said.

“Do you like sleep?” Levi asked.

“What?”

“It looks like we’re going to have to take all the shifts tonight.”

“I’ll manage.”

Jean snapped off the lid of a bottle and had a long gulp. Ymir had apparently already downed a glass and was now pouring another. She paused to open a bottle for Krista, who thanked her before gulping it down.

“Wow,” Mikasa said. “This… is _actually_ happening.”

“Does no one here understand we’re on a mission?!” Levi sighed. “Mikasa, watch them, and don’t get drunk. I’m going to look around. Maybe Nanaba will come save us.”

“Nanaba’s head got- _hic_ \- bitten off,” Armin said.

“It hasn’t even been five minutes,” Mikasa said. “Why are you already hiccuping?”

“It might have been their arms, though.”

“I think it was the whole upper half.”

“Oh. Right.”

“How old _is_ that rum?”

“Guys,” Jean said. “I can make _hot buttered rum._ Is there any butter? Or heat?!”

“I actually just need to leave, because this is making me uncomfortable,” Levi said. “Extremely so. Watch them, I’ll take a walk.” He left before anyone could protest, and fired two white flares into the air, so Hange knew where they were, and that they were staying there for the night. In response, two white flares came from much closer than he expected. They must have found the eastern squad easily. Levi walked over to Paul’s. There were two skeletal legs inside. Well. _That_ was fantastic. The counter was upside down. He heard a noise and turned, expecting some massive horror, and saw a large rat, which was more of a _big_ horror. The rat scurried off to whatever disgusting filth it lived in. Levi saw a cleaning closet and headed over, but there was only a broom. Figured. He left the bar. The sky was beginning to turn orange and purple, and the sun was getting low. He walked up and down the ruined street. Most of the buildings seemed to have been stores or the like; there were only about three houses. Most of the economy had probably come from the inn, and visitors. It was a rather nice little town, quaint, probably quiet, which Levi liked. He imagined it would have been very tidy and well-kept. People would have been happy here.

And then, the wall broke down, and they were no longer capable of happy. He wondered if anyone survived.

One of the houses had some jewelry. He pocketed it.

He wasn’t sure if the people could have made it to the wall before the Titans made it here, or if anyone could have carried the message. But this was far enough from Maria that they might have evacuated in time.

He left the building. The sun had set, the moon was high, and stars were out. He patrolled up and down the street for no reason other than avoiding drunk teenagers, and then finally, returned to the inn.

Mikasa was sitting down. Jean was sitting next to her. He was touching her hair.

Levi was tempted to close the door and pretend he had never entered.

“I really like your hair,” he said. “It’s so. It’s. It’s so black.”

“Yes, Jean, you told me.”

“It’s like. Really dark. And shiny.”

“I know, Jean.”

“It’s so pretty.”

“You said so, Jean. Several times.”

“It’s like. It’s. It’s black and shiny and pretty.”

“You can stop touching it.”

“But it’s so smooth. And black. And-”

“Shiny and pretty, I know.”

“Woah!” Jean dropped the bit of hair he’d been holding and stared at her, not speaking or blinking for a solid minute before screaming, “Are you a mind reader?!”

“No, Jean.”

“Hey, I like your hair.”

“No, you don’t need to- touch it. Okay.”

Bertholdt, Ymir, Reiner, Krista, and Armin were all sitting at the other end of the table. There was a lot of yelling and laughing going on.

“Can I smell it?” Jean asked, entranced.

Mikasa spotted Levi.

“Don’t ask for help, you’re on your own here.”

“ _I don’t know what to do,_ ” she hissed. “No! Do _not_ smell my- Jean, don’t do that agai- just you _try_ doing that one more time- I am going to give you _such_ a talking to when you’re sober-”

“Well,” Levi said. “You’ve got things taken care of. I’ll leave, then.”

“Don’t you dare.”

Reiner laughed loudly before shouting _“Bertholdt,_ you are gonna get _laid_ to _night_!” No one seemed to react. Ymir suddenly leaned across the table and started to kiss Krista, with a lot of vigor and passion.

“Was there… any build-up to that?”

“Some, for the past few years, but just now? Not really, no.”

“Hey,” Reiner hiccuped. “Bert. Bertholdt. Bert.”

“Yeah?”

“How many bones do you have in your body?”

“I dunno.”

“It’s two hundred and six, I think.”

“Oh. Two hundred and six, then?”

“Want- _hic_ \- one more?”

Bertholdt stared at Reiner, then jumped up. “Reiner is going to fuck me!” he shouted, and dove over the table.

“Not in _here_!”

“Reiner is going to fuck me in another room!”

Bertholdt dragged Reiner out of the room and into the kitchen. Armin sighed.

“I’m so alone,” he said. “Why am I so alone? Mikasa!”

“Yes, Armin?”

“Everyone dies and fucks each other!” Armin sobbed.

“Okay,” she said. “If you say so.”

“It’s true,” Jean said. “And then the people you want to fuck die and the people you want to fie duck. I mean. Duck fie. No, that’s not it.”

“Please help me,” Mikasa said. Armin was now crying onto the table and Jean was looking around for more drinks.

“Do Reiner and Bert _know_ that the kitchen is a part of this room?” Levi asked. “It is literally a counter, and a bit of wall. I can see half of everything they’re doing.”

“Is it each other? Are they doing each other?” Armin asked, recovering and sitting up.

“ _Half!”_ Jean shrieked, and sprawled out over the box of liquor. Fantastic. Now _he_ was crying.

“Hey,” Armin said. “Do you guys ever wonder why we’re put in this world? Like, what’s the purpose?”

“Krista,” Ymir said. “I want you to take me seriously here.”

“I will!”

“I might be gay.”

 _“Really_? Me too!”

 _“That’s great!”_ Ymir hit her fist against the table. “We should get _married_!”

“Yes!” Krista shouted, and dove across the table to kiss her again.

“I actually hope a Titan comes and eats everyone here,” Levi said. “Especially me.”

 _“Titans_!” Jean shouted. “Half!”

“Can we leave?” Mikasa stood up. “Can we please, please leave?”

“ _Yes_.” Levi said. “Lock the doors so they can’t leave.”

Mikasa nodded and went to get the front door. Levi headed for the back and did his best to avoid looking into the kitchen. Berholt and Reiner had both managed to get all of their clothes and gear off in what was probably record time.

“Come on, Armin,” Mikasa said, taking him by the arm.

“But Mikasa! I want to get drunk!”

“You _are_ drunk!”

“I am?”

“You need to go to bed.”

“But I wanna talk to Jean about mortality!”

“Jean is gonna pass out any-”

 _“Half!”_ Jean shouted again, and then fell over the box and started snoring.

Mikasa led Armin up the staircase. “Come on, you can go to bed and _dream_ about morality instead.”

“But mortality is scary!”

“Then don’t. Look! A bed! Sleep in it!” Mikasa returned with a blanket. She threw it over Jean and turned his head. “There, now he won’t drown on vomit.”

“Pleasant way to die.”

 _“Reiner!”_ Berholdt screamed.

“Fantastic,” Mikasa said. “The lesbians are stripping too.”

“Let’s go,” Levi said. They both left the scene as quickly as they could, and started their guard shifts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry


	14. Spiders > Titans?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I was seven and you were nine, I looked at you like the stars that shine” -Taylor Swift

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God help me  
> Also this is a two-chapter update because I slacked during finals week.

“I drank _so_ much last night,” Reiner said, gesturing with a glass. “I can’t even remember anything from after we opened the second box.”

“Haha,” Bertholdt laughed, loudly. “I don’t remember anything either! At all. Ha.”

“Yeah, all I _really_ remember is Jean screaming the word _half_ over and over.”

“I’ve seen things, okay?” Jean snapped, slamming his cup down on a table.

“I have a horrible headache,” Armin said. “My skull is caving in. I think I may be dying.”

Mikasa sighed. “That’s a hangover, Armin.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. I’m sure.”

“Oh.”

The door to the stairs slammed open, revealing Levi.

“Morning, Corporal,” Reiner said.

“Everyone! At attention and report!”

There was a general exchange of confused glances, and Armin stood up, followed by Bertholdt.

_“Faster, dammit!”_

Reiner opened his mouth to say something, then fell over as the bench hit the ground. It had been knocked over as Jean stood up, apparently.

Levi scanned what he probably couldn’t even call ranks, frowning. “Leanne, missing.”

“What? Leanne?”

“She’s the woman,” Bertholdt quietly explained to Reiner. “You know, the one with the darkish hair who-”

“You,” Levi said. “Shut up. We’re going on a brief recon mission down the street to look for Leanne. Hange’s sent up a flare our way, so we have time to kill.”

“Does that mean we can get drunk again?” Jean asked.

“I cannot believe you just asked me that while saluting,” Levi said.

Several hours of searching throughout the day led to nothing. Sometime after noon, Connie and Sasha arrived.

“Fantastic!” Sasha grinned, bursting in through the door. “We’re here in time for lunch!”

Armin dropped his sandwich in surprise. Within a moment, Jean and Connie had been reunited, and were having a loud conversation.

“Man! You guys all got drunk without me?!”

“Yeah,” Jean laughed. “It was totally crazy. Pretty much everyone but me and Armin started screwing.”

“Even Mikasa?!”

“No, she and Levi stayed sober.”

“Oh. So, Reiner finally did it with Krista, huh?”

Jean paled and shot a look over at Ymir, who’d heard, and was glaring at him. “It was, uh… a bit more… hodge-podged than that-”

“What, she did it with Bertholdt?”

“Um…”

“How would that even work? She’s so tiny! And he’s so- I mean, I guess she could blow him pretty easily…”

“I mean… I guess…”

Some shouts suddenly came from Sasha. Apparently, Mikasa wasn’t sharing her lunch with her.

“Did I nail Krista?” Reiner said, confused.

“Or, did I?” Bertholdt said. “Because, um, I don’t remember anything, at all, I remember less than Reiner and-”

“Connie,” Ymir gave him a dark look. “Don’t make me hit you.”

Connie screamed and hid behind Jean.

“I’m totally confused,” Reiner said. “Did I screw someone? Who?”

Berholt laughed much too loudly and said nothing, and then started tugging at Reiner’s sleeve.

“You okay?”

“I need you to um, help me with my gear.”

“You’re wearing your gear.”

Bertholdt turned red. “Yeah, but… I… need your help… with it…”

“With what?”

“If we could… I dunno, go somewhere else… to um, I mean… uh…”

Reiner gave him a confused look. “Sure, man.”

Bertholdt stood up slowly, and he and Reiner left the room. Ymir nearly doubled over with laughter.

“Is she okay?”

Jean stood up sharply and hauled Connie over to the side. “Ymir made out with Krista, okay? And Bert and Reiner totally fucked, alright?”

“Wait, _really_?”

“Yeah.”

_“Man!”_

* * *

 

“Hey, are you okay?” Reiner said, following Bertholdt into one of the inn’s rooms and closing the door behind him.

“Um,” Bertholdt said. “I mean, yeah, I’m fine, I just…”

Reiner crossed the room to stand next to him. “You were acting kinda weird back there.”

“Was I? Haha… My bad…”

“You’re still acting weird. Did something happen?”

“Kind of…?”

“Kind of?! Are you alright? Did someone-”

“No, I mean, I’m fine- but something happened- uh- I don’t really know how to…”

“I’m your best friend,” Reiner said, looking at Bertholdt with sincere green eyes. “You can tell me anything.”

“Well… uh…” Bertholdt coughed. “We sorta… had sex last night?”

_“What?!”_

“You said I could tell you!”

“I didn’t think it was gonna be _that_!”

“I’m sorry! I just… I thought you had a right to know!”

“That I participated in sex with you?!”

“Well, if you wanna put it that way, yeah!”

“Shit,” Reiner said, sitting down on the bed. “Shit, shit _shit…_ ”

“I’m sorry,” Bertholdt repeated.

“No, you don’t need to… _I’m_ sorry.”

There was a long, pregnant pause.

Reiner cleared his throat. “Was it… good?”

“The… sex? That we participated in?”

“Yeah.”

Bertholdt shrugged. “I’m not really an expert, but… I think it was pretty good.”

“Well. That’s… good.”

“Yeah.”

“So… if it was good… would you, um, object to maybe… doing it again?”

“I, uh, don’t know,” Bertholdt said. “I mean, if you didn’t…”

“I wouldn’t.” Reiner let out a loud sigh. “Shit shit shit sh _it-_ ”

“We don’t have to!”

“No,” Reiner said. “No, see, that’s the thing… I… I _do_ want to.”

“Oh.”

“But, I mean… I didn’t want you to find out. Especially not, you know, because-”

“We got drunk and did it?”

“Yeah,” Reiner said. “That.”

“How _did_ you want me to find out.”

“Well, I actually… didn’t. I mean, you and Annie-”

“Me… and Annie?”

Reiner paled. “I mean, I always kind of assumed that you two were… you know?!”

“You thought I liked Annie?!”

“Yes!”

Bertholdt snorted. _“Why?!”_

“I dunno!”

“I like _you_ , you idiot!”

“You do?!”

Bertholdt flushed. “I didn’t say anything,” he mumbled.

“Yes you did!” Reiner said, springing up. He grinned. “ _You_ said you liked me! Was that true?”

“Yes,” he said quietly, face red.

“Yes!” Reiner shouted. “I knew it!”

“No you didn’t!”

“Right, well, you’re not _entirely wrong_. So, like…” Reiner paused. “Was there… a reason we had sex last night?”

“I don’t know,” Bertholdt said helplessly. “You used a bad pickup line on me and then I yelled that we were going to fuck, I think.”

“A bad pickup line? Which one?”

“Please don’t make me say it.”

“Berholdt, I want to know how my drunk self finally wooed you!”

“Was that a joke?”

“Partially. Come on!”

“No. _Please_ don’t make me-”

“Bert! Tell me!”

“Fine, fine!” Bertholdt threw his hands up in the air. “You asked me if I wanted another bone in my body!”

Reiner froze, then nearly fell over laughing. “Really? _That’_ s what got you?”

“Hey! You’re the one who said it!”

“Another _bone?”_

“Wait, I have a question,” Bertholdt interrupted.

“Shoot.”

“If I like you, and you like me-”

“I never said that.”

“Oh. You don’t?”

“No, I do.”

Bertholdt looked at him for a moment before walking slowly over to the bed, picking up a pillow, and throwing it at him.

Reiner yelled and dodged. “Hey! That was totally uncalled for!”

“No, _that_ was totally uncalled for!”

Reiner picked up the pillow and hit Bertholdt over the head. “That didn’t even make any sense!”

“It would, if you were paying attention!” Bertholdt grabbed another pillow off the bed, then screamed and dropped it. Reiner leapt backwards.

“What?”

“There was a spider!”

Reiner took another step forwards, but started laughing again. “A _spider_?”

“Don’t tell me _you_ like spiders?”

“You are literally the Colossal Titan!”

“It was a _really big spider_!”

“Yeah, and you’re a _really_ _big_ _Titan_!”

Bertholdt reached for the pillow, holding it gingerly between his hands, before lobbing it at Reiner. He screamed and fell over.

“Oh, no,” Bertholdt said. “What’s wrong, Reiner?”

“Shut up! I don’t know where the spider is!”

“Maybe there wasn’t one,” he went on coyly. “Maybe I made it up.”

“You piece of- I am going to tickle you so hard-”

Bertholdt turned to run, but Reiner dove for him. They fell over onto the floor. Bertholdt burst into hysterical laughter.

“Reiner, Reiner, _stop_ it, stop, I can’t breathe-”

“That’s what you get for scaring me!”

“But there- _ahahaha-_ there really was a spider before!”

“You _still_ freaked me out!”

“ _Hahaha-_ I can’t- _ahaha_ \- breathe-”

“I know where all your weak spots are!” Reiner sang. “The _back of the neck_ -”

“Oh god, no- not the back of the- _not the back of the-_ ”

Bertholdt collapsed into fits of laughter.

“You know,” Reiner mused. “I didn’t actually know the back of your neck was ticklish. That’s a funny coincidence.”

“Yeah,” Bertholdt said, voice tight from lack of air. “What about the back of your neck?!”

“Huh?”

Bertholdt lunged for him, and pinned him to the ground.

“No- stop it, I- _ahahaha-_ ”

“Success!”

_“I can’t breathe!_ You’re sitting on me! _”_ Reiner sputtered.

“Sorry!” Bertholdt squeaked, jumping up. Reiner grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him back down.

“It’s okay.”

“Okay.”

They locked eyes.

Bertholdt coughed. “Right, well, then, I-”

Reiner pulled him forward sharply, their mouths colliding in a fierce kiss. Bertholdt fell silent, before they came apart.

“That was a really nice way of telling me to shut up,” he said, flushed.

“I wasn’t telling you to shut up.”

“No?”

“I was telling you to kiss me, you idiot,” Reiner said, and Bertholdt did so.

 

 


	15. Reunion

Erwin shuffled his papers again, casting a purposeful look up at the young man standing next to him. Albine, that was his name, right? If he intended to wait until Erwin was done, then Erwin would have him waiting all day.

Albine coughed. “Sir, how soon until-”

“Don’t talk,” Erwin instructed. “You’ll distract me.”

“Sorry! Um… would it be okay if I sat down?”

“Fine, but be quiet, right?”

“Right!” Albine nodded rapidly and collapsed into one of the nearby chairs. Erwin glanced back.

“You know, locking your legs like that can make you pass out.”

“Really?!”

“It stops blood flow.”

“I never knew that! Thank you for telling me, sir! You really are as-”

Erwin shushed him and relocated several papers. He’d run out of actual work to do about ten minutes ago and wasn’t sure how long he could keep this up. It would look suspicious if he got up and went out looking for something important, especially when he’d made such a deal of how urgent all his paperwork was. He lifted up a folder and sat it down.

“Are you, uh, looking for something, sir?”

“I asked for silence, Albine.”

“Right! Um, would you like a drink? It’s been over an hour and you look a little-”

“Quiet, Albine. The absence of sound.”

Albine nodded, and sat still. He crossed his legs, then uncrossed them. He looked around the room. He started bouncing his right knee up and down.

“Is something the matter?!”

“No, sir!” He rushed, and began bouncing his leg faster.

“Are you sure of that?”

“I, um, I have to use the-”

“Then go!” Erwin snapped.

“I told Jacques that if you insisted on working I would wait until you were done!”

“If you desecrate my office-”

“I’ll- I’ll just-” Albine stood quickly, making a beeline for the door. It slammed open before he could make it.

“ _Albine!_ For God’s sake, what is taking so long?!”

“Sorry sir!” He shouted, then vanished into the hallway. Erwin sighed loudly.

“Good morning, Jacques.”

The man snarled and stalked over to Erwin’s death, standing immediately in front of him. “Yes, _Commander_. It was morning when I got here. Now, though, it’s half past noon.”

“Is it really?” Erwin asked pleasantly, not looking up from his papers. “Well, you know how it is, working and time gets away from you-”

“You’re not working! You’re just moving papers around!”

“Is that so? Oh, dear. Well, please have a seat. You can wait until I’m done.”

Jacques put a hand down on the desk, covering the paper Erwin had gone to pick up. “I’m not waiting any longer, Smith.”

“If you want to leave, you’re more than welcome. Oh, my. This is quite pressing, I’ll have to run it straight over to- ah, Mike. I have to run it over to Mike.”

“Mike can wait!”

“No, too urgent. You’re more than welcome to wait!” Erwin stood up, picking up one of the papers, and moved to leave. Jacques stepped to block his path.

“Do you know what’s going on, Smith?!”

“You’re not letting me leave?”

“The gate opens, and thirty three of your Corps vanish from inside the walls?! Three of them _captains_?! Levi goes missing before his execution?! One of my most dedicated soldiers disappears from my ranks?!”

“I know,” Erwin sighed. “I’m so terribly concerned for the well-being of my missing captains, and my soldiers, even if they are deserters. I do hope _yours_ are doing their best to find them.”

“The gate _opened_! I demand to know what is-”

“And I’ll have you know,” Erwin added, narrowing his eyes. “Thirty _four_ people are missing. _Four_ of them captains.”

“Levi lost his title when he was declared guilty!”

“No, he did not. You don’t have the authority to make that decision.”

“Ten of the missing soldiers were in the 104th, with Eren! Think of what this means, Smith! Are you really willing to leave them alone with-”

“Jacques,” Erwin said coolly. “I don’t know what it is you’re trying to imply about me, my soldiers, or Levi. But I’m afraid I have business to attend to.”

“Dammit, Smith.” Jacques curled one of his hands into a fist. “I won’t let this rest. If I have to pursue this myself-”

“Feel free,” Erwin raised an eyebrow. “It’s clear that you enjoy chasing empty leads from the way you handled Eren’s death. Now,” he pushed past him. “Schedule an appointment if you wish to speak with me.”

* * *

 

Petra didn’t consider herself someone capable of hating anyone. She didn’t even hate Annie. But that did not, in any way, mean she liked her. She was doing a good job of getting along with her, but this was a job that she had to admit would be made easier if every time she looked at Annie, those two murderous black eyes stared back.

She’d seen Annie before she’d known the truth about her, and she’d known there was something off about that glare, but it made Petra’s skin crawl. To think she’d been in the same carriage as the woman who’d killed her comrades. And she hadn’t even known. Petra had been remembering, lately, they didn’t have Oluo’s body to bury.

Annie was a cold-blooded murderer.

And yet, she had saved her life.

Petra had killed more Titans then ever before, but they’d just coming. There had just been _too many._ She had skill, but even that could not compete with their sheer numbers. Once again, the people around her, who had put their trust in her, her _squad_ , had been torn up like summer grass and cast into the wind. Five people. Five people she knew and loved. _Dead._ Gone. Permanently. That could have happened to her, too.

But fate seemed to have different plans for her. Annie had transformed, and it was thanks to her that Petra was alive.

That was the only thing she could process as she stared at the trail in front of her, her trusty mare carrying her, and leading the way. Hange was rambling on about something. Annie rode in silence as well.

Petra stroked the mane of her mare. It was getting tangled, and she would have to brush it soon. Mechanically, she reached into her pack to get out some of the sugar cubes she’d brought along. Sugar was a rare commodity, but she always managed to find some for Anita, and she was a Scout after all.

Most soldiers didn’t name their horses, but Petra had. She’d always loved the name. She’d hoped that if she ever had a daughter, Anita would be her name.

The irony. That someone with such a similar name would kill Oluo, Eld, Gunther- and save her.

Anita whinnied. Petra fed her another sugar cube before lifting the reins.

“Hey,” Hange said excitedly. “If you need to feed her, you should give her one of my pellets. Maybe two, since she’s, you know. A horse. It is a girl, right?”

“... Yes.”

“Lucky that you two are okay,” they went on. “I don’t know _what_ Levi, Nana, and me would do without you!” They shot a glance at Annie. “Or you, for that matter! Mrs. Titan Shifter!”

Annie glared at Hange and nodded in what might have been agreement, or acknowledgement and dismissal. There was no getting anywhere with her. _Her soul is like ice,_ Petra thought.

“Squads three and four shot their flares from somewhere over that hill,” Hange pointed. “I don’t think they moved on. It sure it hot out, isn’t it? This is why we don’t travel in the day, ha!”

“Now isn’t really a time for jokes, Hange,” Petra mumbled.

“Right,” Hange nodded. “Just trying to brighten you up!”

_I don’t need brightening._

“But, I’ll sober up. We should meet up with Levi soon.” Hange grinned. “Then the whole gang’ll be together, huh?”

“Mm,” Annie said.

“I wasn’t talking to you,” Hange said. “But I bet you’re excited to see your buddies, huh?”

“Right.”

“What about you, Pets? Looking forward to seeing Levi and Nana?”

“Yeah,” Petra brightened a little at the thought. Somehow, Levi’s hatred of all things cheery did make things, well, cheerier. And Nanaba was, in Petra’s opinion, the absolute best. She told Hange so.

“Levi’s sourpuss attitude is fantastic,” they laughed. “And I haven’t had a chat with Nanaba in ages! Christ, it must’ve been before Trost…”

Petra, sensing the way the conversation was headed, started gesturing to Annie that she should not stay within a hearing distance of Hange, pointing to the back. Annie frowned, but slowed her horse.

“Right around Sonny and Bean!” Hange finished, then sighed sadly. “Yeah…”

It hadn’t taken long for Reiner to cover what Annie had done during his interrogation. Petra had, of course, informed Erwin and Levi; the decision not to tell Hange had been collective. There was no telling how they would react, but it could very possibly end in either their or Annie’s death. Petra was not eager to see. Hange would find out the truth sooner or later, when the time was right.

The time was currently wrong. Perhaps it would always be wrong.

“Oh!” Hange said, as the ground began to steepen. “This should be it now! Come on!” They sped up their horse and Petra followed suit, urging Anita onward. They reached the crest of the hill quickly. “Wow, they even found a nice little town! They sure are resourceful, huh?”

Petra smiled. “They definitely are!”

“Down we go!” Hange shouted, and went streaking down the hillside. Their horse was a blur.

“Wait for me!” Petra called, and kicked into Anita’s sides. She galloped after Hange.

“Oi!” Hange shouted, stopping short as they reached the town, and jumping off their steed. “Nanaba! Levi! We’re here to regroup! Connie? Sasha?”

“It’s like… a ghost town,” Petra whispered, looking out at the village as the rest of Hange’s squad joined them. A few signs creaked in the wind.

“Why are you whispering?” Hange whispered back.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to.” Petra looked around. “The flare came from here?”

“Yeah, I’m pretty su-”

There was a loud sound. Petra squeaked, jumping up and looking around, finally catching sight of Levi in the door of one of the decaying buildings.

“Hey,” he said. “It’s still daytime, so keep your voices down.”

“Hey us?” Hange grinned and dismounted. “Hey _you_! Did you get taller since we left?”

Levi scowled and retreated into the building. Hange sniggered.

“I’ll tie up the horses, you all head in!” They said, taking some of reins from several Scouts. Petra tied Anita up herself before heading inside. It felt a little cooler, offering solace from the heat outside. She recognized most of Levi’s squad, but only saw two from Nanaba’s. Then again, neither Nanaba nor Levi was in the room. People were probably relaxing, all over the place.

* * *

 

“Yo,” Levi said, opening the door to the last inn on the floor. Hopefully Bertholdt and Reiner were in here.

They were.

They did not notice him.

Levi took a brief moment to thank the heavens above him that they were in a bed. Reiner was on top of Bertholdt, and they had _not_ cast the blanket off. Levi thanked the heavens again.

“I love you more.”

“No, I love _you_ more.”

“No-”

Levi coughed loudly.

“Corporal!” Reiner shouting, sitting up quickly. Bertholdt followed suit. Reiner fell off of him.

“In advance, know that if either of you _ever_ even _dare_ to utter the words _I love you more_ in front of me, I will not hesitate to slit your throat. Also, we’re regrouping, if you want to have a family reunion with the Female Titan or whatever.”

“Annie’s here?”

“Yeah,” Levi said. “I’m leaving now. Also, please dress yourselves.”

* * *

 

Annie walked in after Petra, having tied up her own horse as well. She gave the room a once-over, then leaned against the wall by Petra. Petra looked around as well, and didn’t see Reiner or Bertholdt. They were probably off wherever the rest of Nanaba’s squad was, or with Levi. She looked back at Annie, who looked a little out of place. She probably felt that way, too. Petra couldn’t help but think she looked a little lonely.

“Hey,” she started to say. “You know, if-”

Reiner and Bert suddenly appeared at the staircase and Annie broke into- Christ, was that a grin?- and started towards them. Yes, there was no mistaking it, for a few seconds, she had let out a small, fierce smile. It was gone before she reached the two men, and she returned to scowling and sulking.

Hange swept in through the door, whistling, and Levi also appeared at the foot of the stairs. He headed for one side of the room, before spotting Hange and Petra, and changing his course.

Hange ruffled his hair. “Was that Mikasa you were headed for? Aww, Petra, he’s made friends!”

“She’s the only sane person I know,” Levi snapped. “Yes, I’m including you.”

“I would hope so. So!” Hange looked around. “I see you, I see me, I see Petra, but, um, I don’t see our fourth captain? Leader of the third squad? The ever-valiant Nanaba? Where is she?”

“Well,” Levi said. “Apparently, her torso was bitten off, but I missed that part. You’d be better of asking Armin or Ymir, they’re the only two left.”

“... Oh,” Hange said. “Ah, right.”

Levi looked at Petra. “I don’t see the rest of your squad. I assume something similar happened?”

Petra nodded weakly.

Levi sighed. “I knew this expedition wasn’t worth it. Also, if any of you want to trade members, everyone got drunk last night, and I saw things I did _not_ need to see, so anyone who wants anyone can have them, except for Armin and Mikasa. Are you merging squads?”

Petra nodded again. “Probably.”

“You think I’d leave Pets out on her own?” Hange put an arm around Petra. “She’s a shared responsibility, Levi! I can’t leave our little girl around! So, how did everyone get drunk last night?”

“Reiner, Bert, Krista, and Ymir decided to check out one of the buildings, and found all sorts of alcohol.” He sighed. “Did what I could to stop them, but kids don’t listen.”

“They only obey you if you’re taller,” Hange said wistfully. Levi grit his teeth.

“I went for a walk and when I came back, Mikasa was the only sober one. Jean was stroking her hair. Then the girls started making out.”

“Girls?”

“Yeah, Ymir and Krista. Then Reiner said something stupid and he and Bert screwed in the kitchen, and when I went to tell them Annie was here, and they were fucking again.”

Hange stood on their tiptoes and looked across the room. “They do _look_ like they’ve been fucking.”

“I’ve seen things I never wanted to see,” Levi said bitterly. “And Jean has some weird obsession with the word _half_. It’s his trigger or something. I swear, someone said the word, and he started sobbing over the empty box of bottles. But, the trauma of my squad and I isn’t important now. Are we heading out at sundown?”

“That does seem like the best plan,” Petra said. “Unless we want to leave now?”

Hange snorted.

Levi turned. “People,” he said loudly. “We’re leaving at sundown. Be ready. He looked back to Hange and Petra. I’m going to go make sure they left all the rooms here clean.”

He turned and left.

“Maybe you should lay off the jokes about his height,” Petra said quietly. “He looked ready to murder you.”

“Making up for lost time.”

“Also. This is literally an abandoned town,” Petra said.

“Yeah,” Hange nodded. “Shorty overworks himself. I really don’t think the innkeeper would mind some mess.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so as I've probably mentioned before, but don't remember, I've officially finished the complete and pretty much final draft of this story. It's currently 30 chapters, but might get a few added in, since we've gone inside the walls while the expedition is happening maybe once (this chapter) and some shit goes down before they get back that so far is only described through dialogue. By pretty much final I mean I've glanced through parts a few times and edited a bit. Also: there is a part two. The shit that goes down leads directly into this part two. There may even be a part three. And most of the LeviHan is going to seep in into those, but this isn't a romance centric fic, so it is not the focus. 
> 
> We're getting to close to one of my favorite scenes in this piece. It was the one I toiled over in my head, a bit of canon I ignored but am now going to make happen- let's just say about two or three chapters after this I had an emotional breakdown while writing! :D fun times


	16. Snails

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, on my doc, I have this as the quote. I have no idea why???? I think I might've been associating the major to minor version of Girls Just Wanna Have Fun (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MCJh4a5iAqw) with Annie, but I don't know what that has to do with anything. Anyways
> 
> “When are you gonna live your life right?” - “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I've been spotty about this lately! I think I missed a week, so sorry! I may have to take a hiatus in the beginning of August, since I'll be on vacay and don't know if I'll have computer access. I've been slacking off on the sequel to this, too, since I've been working on an original project. That's coming along good though, so I may finish a novel shortly! I'll try to keep my continuous posting continuous, and get some more of Glory up soon!

In social events, two groups tended to flock together. People who knew each other, and girls. Waiting for sundown wasn’t _quite_ a social event, but something similar did happen. Krista, Ymir, Mikasa, Sasha, and Armin were all getting their horses prepared to leave together.

Armin was an honorary girl. Hanna and Mina had decided it with them sometime in their first year of training. He could braid hair, and gave good advice. Without Hanna and Mina, though, their group was mostly Sasha and Krista talking, with some chatter from Ymir, and the occasional grunt from Mikasa. Armin did speak a lot, but he was only an _honorary_ girl, so he couldn’t be counted as a factor in the conversation.

If he could’ve, he’d have made up a good third or fourth.

To prove one of her points, Sasha turned and yelled something to Connie, who was saddling up nearby with Jean. He nodded and shouted back something that supported her, and she grinned at Krista and Ymir.

It was around this point that Annie materialized. She didn’t do so literally, but no one saw her approach and everyone was a little scared of her, so the effect was the same.

“I need you to honestly answer my question,” she said in her unfeeling voice, nearly causing armin to fall over from shock. Krista squeaked, and Sasha looked more than a little colorless.

Ymir nodded. “Sure.”

Mikasa nodded and glared at Annie. Annie glared back. It seemed that the two of them had been nothing but glares lately.

“Those two had sex,” she said.

“I dunno who _those two_ are,” Ymir said. “Maybe?”

Sasha laughed too loudly, then covered her mouth.

“Them,” Annie said, gesturing at Bert and Reiner. Reiner was helping Bert with his horse.

“Why do you think that?” Krista asked.

Annie sighed, clearly thinking it should be obvious. “They’re wearing each other’s clothes.

“We all have the same uniform.”

“They don’t _fit_ in each other’s clothes. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but Bert is a _little_ taller than Reiner, and thinner. It looks like he’s a prostitute who decided to put on 3D gear.”

Armin looked over; Sasha laughed loudly again, for a little too long, before covering her mouth and giggling.

“I don’t know,” Ymir said. “Everyone was kind of drunk. Ask them yourself.”

“That’s a yes,” Annie said, and leaned against the nearest wall. When she had been a part of the conversations, she never spoke, but everyone did feel like they were being evaluated around her.

There was a brief moment of quiet, accompanied by a nodding Armin.

“Hey!” Sasha said, breaking the awkward silence. “I have, like, a question. When you turn into a Titan, um, what happens to your clothes?”

This, however, led to another moment of awkward silence. Sasha coughed.

“I keep them on,” Annie said. “I’m just controlling the Titan from inside the neck.”

“Is it always the neck?” Krista asked.

“Yeah.”

“Eren could change what kind of body he made,” Armin said. “He could make a partial one or focus on making it stronger, can you do that?”

“I’ve never heard of anything like that.”

“Hey,” Sasha said thoughtfully to herself. “Hmm…”

“What does your Titan form look like?” Krista asked.

“You were on the expedition where she showed up,” Mikasa said, adjusting her horses saddle.

“I didn’t see her properly!”

“It looks _exactly_ like her.”

“No it doesn’t,” Annie said.

“Um,” Armin said. “It kind of does.”

“You’re just saying that because you know it’s her!” Ymir accused.

“I’m not! She was one of the only people I thought _could_ be the Female Titan!”

“Oh, yeah, she just _ran_ down from the inner walls, did a quick jog down here, and went back for lunch!”

“I didn’t say _that_!”

“I actually didn’t eat lunch that day,” Annie said. “But whatever.”

“Hey,” Sasha said again. “You said you control the form from the neck? In the… nape?”

“Yeah,” Annie said, and flicked her hair out of her eyes.

“And a normal Titan’s weak point is the nape of the neck?”

“Yeah,” Ymir rolled her eyes. “That’s right Sasha, we’ve only been told a million times.”

“But,” Sasha went on earnestly. “Aren’t those two things connected? Is it possible that normal Titans are just Shifters who’ve been in there for years and years? So it’s the weak point! Because that’s where it’s like, _intense_!”

“That… makes sense,” Mikasa said.

“It does? I knew it!”

“Small flaw in the theory,” Ymir lifted a finger. “That means a bunch of shifters decided to start eating people.”

“I didn’t say it was the truth!”

“Why would something _eat_ something else?” Ymir finished.

Annie snorted. “Ask Sasha.”

“Hey!”

“Wait,” Armin turned from his horse. “Her idea actually makes a lot of sense! They could be like, the undead!”

“What the hell does that mean?”

“I don’t really know,” he admitted. “I read their word in one of my grandpa’s old books. They’re sort of like vampires, I think.”

“Vampires?” Ymir said disbelievingly. “That’s like, an old-ass legend. That isn’t true.”

“Um,” Krista looked at Armin. “It sounds like your grandpa had illegal books?”

Armin mumbled something and started brushing his horse’s mane.

“I suppose.. that thing about Titans could actually be… true,” Ymir said slowly. “I mean, if you got stuck in Titan form, maybe you’d go insane. Er, what do you think, Annie?”

“I dunno.”

“What about you, Krista?”

“Maybe?” she frowned thoughtfully. “Why would they go insane?”

“Maybe it’s like how you step on snails,” Sasha bent over and started rooting around in her pack for food.

“What do you mean?”

“You know that feeling you get when you step on a snail? Or a beetle or a ladybug, but snails are worse, because they crunch. It just makes your heart break, and you wonder if they had snail dreams, and a snail family, and you think about how you just ruined their entire world, and possibly the world of their snail family-”

“I don’t think snails have families, Sasha,” Mikasa swiped the apple she’d pulled out and fed it to her horse.

“Hey! That was mine! And they _might_! We don’t know!”

“Well, I’m sure that if snails have snail families, then Titans must have little Titan children and caring Titan parents!” Mikasa sighed. “It just isn’t logical! Right, Armin?”

“I don’t know,” Armin said. “Snails do have to reproduce.”

“Gross!” Sasha said.

“Titans _don’t_ reproduce, though,” Mikasa said.

Sasha folded her arms. “Mikasa, you owe me an apple!”

“Get your own apple.”

“I _did,_ and then you took it!”

“It’ll come out the other end in a few hours.”

“Ew! But,” Sasha said, starting to look for some more food in her pack. “If you stepped on enough snails, you might go insane. It’s probably worse if it’s, like, people and deer.”

“Wouldn’t people know to run? And why would you start eating them?”

“You know what,” Sasha threw her hands in the air. “It was just an idea! You don’t need to be so mean!”

“You’re out of food, aren’t you?”

“No!” she said defensively, face red. “At least, I _wasn’t_!”

“Don’t cry.”

“But _then_ you took my apple!”

Mikasa sighed, and tossed her a new apple from inside her pack. Sasha devoured it in several moments. Mikasa muttered something under her breath. Annie flicked her hair out of her eyes again.

“Why don’t you go hang out with your friends?” Mikasa snapped.

“They’re eyefucking,” Annie snapped back, and pushed her hair behind her ear. “And I can hang out wherever I want. It’s not _my_ fault you’re nearby.”

“Hmmph.”

“Well,” Krista smiled. “We’re Annie’s friends too, aren’t we?”

“Uh… yeah,” Sasha agreed uncertainly. Mikasa and Ymir shot stern looks at them both. Armin began to edge away from the girls, and towards Jean and Connie as discreetly as he could. He managed to escape and made his way over to them.

The sky was beginning to darken. Some more awkward chatter went on, between the girls, and between the boys as well. It was clear to any onlooker that Jean wanted to stay as far from Bertholdt and Reiner as possible.

After an eternity the sun finally went down, and the Scouts began to saddle up.

“Hey, Krista,” Ymir said.

“Yes?”

She turned red. “I was thinking, since our squads have merged, we could… maybe… ride next to each other?”

Krista beamed. “Sure! I’d love too!”

Ymir nodded solemnly. “Sounds fun.” She turned around, and punched the nearest wall in triumph.

“Are you alright?”

“Fine,” she shook her hand rapidly, wincing, and mounted.

It was a long night of riding. The two groups separated a little ways out of the abandoned town.

“Oh,” Levi shouted over the wind. “By the way, since you’ve all done such a great job of not dying, I got you rookies something. You’ll see when we set up camp.”

That caused some murmurs among the squad.

“I knew he cared,” Reiner said.

“Oh my- _shut up_!” Jean shouted. “Some of us are trying to focus!”

“What, you can’t ride a horse?!” Reiner snorted. “Your mom knew how, you should be okay!”

“Shut the fuck up!”

“Reiner,” Bertholdt said. “Just leave him be.”

Reiner looked over at him, then nodded. “Right, fine.”

At long last, a dark forest began to appear on the horizon. The hairs on the back of Levi’s neck rose.

He recognized it, instantly. They’d made it this far when Eren died.

_Almost halfway to the next wall. And three squads lost._

They stopped when, at even longer last, they reached the forest. He shot up a flare and, in a moment, Hange joined them with their squad, and Petra and Annie. After some discussion, they decided to keep the groups separate, but nearby, and camp was made a little ways into the forest.

Levi reached into his cloak and dumped a pile of jewelry on one of the larger branches.

“Picked this up,” he said. “Turns out, it’s heavy. Split it up, you work out the watch schedule. None for the Shifters.”

“Thanks, Corporal,” Reiner said.

“I still don’t trust you,” Levi pointed at him accusingly. “Don’t think that because I’ve seen you drunk and naked I think you’re a hero or some shit.”

Bertholdt paled, and Jean sniggered.

“I would literally never think that, sir,” Reiner managed to sputter. “Sir,” he repeated

Levi gave him a look, then went to what he must have decided was the lookout post, the schedule was decided, and it was off to sleep.


	17. Into the Woods: Eren

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Desire and  
> All the sweet pulsing aches  
> And gentle hurtings  
> That were you,  
> Are gone into the sullen dark.  
> Now in the night you come unsmiling  
> To lie with me  
> A dull, cold, rigid bayonet  
> On my hot-swollen, throbbing soul.  
> -“Killed Paive” by Ernest Hemingway

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Isn't this exciting? We're over halfway through. And the next chapter is very very very... exciting.

_“Wake up, brats!”_

Jean snapped to attention. On the other side of the tree Reiner shouted, quickly pulling off the ropes he’d tied himself to his branch with. He leapt up, and immediately fell. He shot his gear up and, unfortunately, pulled himself to safety. Jean untied himself as well and, around him, his squad did the same.

Levi gestured to the ground where a hoard of Titans had gathered. Next to Jean, Bertholdt broke into a nervous sweat.

“Divvy them up,” he said. “I’ve got the other side.”

He shot out his wire and disappeared for view.

“Gee,” Reiner muttered. “Thanks a lot, Corporal.”

“There’s four of them and seven of us,” Armin said. “It shouldn’t be hard.”

“Armin,” Jean said. “With me. Reiner, you go with Bert, and Ymir, with Krista. Mikasa, you can deal.”

She nodded and stepped off the side of her branch as casually as if she were going out to buy some eggs; she didn’t seem to notice nor care that she was plummeting downwards.

“You know,” Reiner said, dropped down and hanging from the branch just above one of the Titans. Bertholdt fumbled to get his sword out. “This would be a lot easier if I just trans-”

“Not on my watch, _jerk_ ,” Jean snapped, and unsheathed his sword. “Armin, let’s go kill a Titan.”

“Right!”

“You distract him,” Jean unsheathed his blade and caught a glimpse of his reflection in the polished metal. “I’ll slice his neck,” he promised, and pressed his lips to his right wrist.

Armin nodded, then jumped and shot out his wire before he’d fallen too far, hanging above the Titan. Jean leapt off as well but, unfortunately, he was not unnoticed by the Titan, and he went careening out of the way, drawing the attention of the second Titan as well. They both turned towards him.

Reiner waved. _“Thanks Jean!”_

“Fuck you!” Jean shouted, and went speeding upwards to avoid being grabbed, swung around the tree, and landed hastily on the Titan’s neck. He brought his sword down, and it fell. Immediately after, Reiner’s Titan followed it. Jean smirked. He’d been first.

“Wow,” Armin said, still hanging from the tree. He moved his hands to shade his eyes and looked up at the sky. “It’s the afternoon.”

“ _Late_ in the afternoon,” Mikasa said from up on the branch. Apparently her Titan hadn’t taken too long. “Did you get the other side?”

“Yes.” Levi swung into view.

“How many?”

“Three,” he shrugged.

“He took out three of them?” Reiner hissed.

“Humanity’s strongest, dumbass!”

“You shut up!” Reiner pointed at Jean, then paused. “Dumber ass!”

“Reiner,” Bertholdt said.

“What? I’m _tired_ , okay?!”

“Reiner, go back to sleep,” Bert said. Reiner nodded, and shot up into the tree. Jean followed suit and tied himself back in.

“Don’t fuck again,” Mikasa said. “We’re in a tree.”

“You-”

She turned to Ymir and Krista. “That goes for you, too.”

Krista flushed. Mikasa turned and headed back towards her branch.

Jean arranged his hood as comfortably as he could and leaned against the body of tree. His back immediately felt sore. _Fuck,_ he thought. _I’m going the fuck to sleep, and-_

“Fuck!”

Jean opened one eyes. Reiner was leaning so far off the branch it was a miracle he hadn’t fallen.

“Um,” Bertholdt said. “Maybe you shouldn’t do that.:

He pointed downwards. “Fuck me running! How many of those fucking things are there?” Apparently more Titans had gathered below. “Well _that’s_ a fucking problem!”

“Yeah,” Jean shouted. “It _is_ a fucking problem to have to fight _lots of fucking Titans_!”

“What’s your problem?”

“What’s _your_ problem?!”

“You, mostly!”

“I’ll take care of it,” Mikasa said, and dropped out of view again. Levi disappeared after her.

Jean looked over. There _was_ a lot of Titans.

“Great,” he grumbled, getting his gear back out. “This is probably the part where we all die. _Great._ ”

And down he went, as well.

In what must’ve been fifteen minutes all the Titans had been killed; Jean only took out two or three. Levi and Mikasa really did all the work.

Jean went back to sleep and didn’t wake up till sundown.

He woke up refreshed and ready to face the day, then remembered where they were, and instantly felt more tired. He untied himself and stretched. It was weird, living on what was pretty much a tree branch, and riding around from tree branch to tree branch. God. He was tired.

“Good news,” Levi announced. He, of course, was already completely ready to go, as were Mikasa and Armin. “Once we’re through these woods, Maria’s in distance of our own two eyes.”

Bertholdt grabbed Reiner’s hand excitedly. He whispered something; Jean caught the word _home_ , and Reiner nodded eagerly. Jean wanted to push them both off their branch. It looked as though Armin and Mikasa felt the same way.

“So,” Levi said. “We’re moving out. Tonight, our priority is locating Eren’s body and getting the key to that basement.”

As if on cue, there came a shout from below, and Jean glanced down. Hange was waving, and their squad were all there as well.

“Hey!” Connie grinned. Oh, fantastic, this meant all the Titan shifters got to have a nice little reunion. _I’m so happy for them,_ Jean thought. _So fucking happy-_

“This forest takes two to four days to get through,” Levi said. “So let’s shoot for a new record. Get your horse and move out. Hopefully, none of them got trampled by those Titans.”

Jean slid down and saddled up his horse, by the time he’d mounted, most everyone was moving out. He must’ve been moving slower than he thought. He clenched his right fist.

 _Let’s do this_ , he said to himself, and they were off.

* * *

 

They must have rode most of the night; Levi cursed that he hadn’t paid attention to the trees near where they’d left Eren’s body, or what the ground looked like.

 _I should have been awake,_ he thought once more. _I should have been-_

“Captain?”

He’d pulled his horse up short, and stared ahead of him.

_“Quit zoning out!”_

He shook his head quickly to clear it, but he had heard Eren’s voice as clearly as if he were riding next to him.

And he could smell salty blood. He scanned the clearing for a source.

 _There_. A mass in the corner.

 _Who the hell is that_? Why was someone out here? Why would anyone-

_“Captain!”_

He started and turned. Petra had put her hand on his shoulder.

“We’re here,” Hange said. Levi looked back.

There was no body. Eren was not there.

Hange frowned, and adjusted their gear.

“Alright,” they said, and smacked their lips thoughtfully. “Which tree, which tree, which… tree… Was it… _you_?”

“You’re kidding me,” Reiner said.

Jean sighed. “Are we looking in trees for a _corpse_? You didn’t even mark it?”

“It was a _bad day_ ,” Hange snapped. “I’m sorry I didn’t consider marking the tree when there was a mangled body in my arms!”

“You’re kidding me,” Reiner said. “I knew it, Eren isn’t really dead, he’s like, waiting to jump out of a tree and give you the key, and you’re pretending he’s dead for some stupid reason-”

“It’s that one,” Levi said, and dismounted, walking towards one of the trees. “You put him here.”

Hange frowned at the tree. “It _does_ look familiar. Then again, so does every tree. Who wants to climb it? I-”

There was the distant sounds of wires shooting; Mikasa disappeared upwards, followed by Armin, and then Jean and Annie.

Half a moment later, Armin landed clumsily on the ground.

“Sorry,” Hange said. “I should’ve warned you, he’s a little- nngh.”

Armin covered his mouth. Levi looked up, mouth drawn in a tight frown.

“Levi,” Petra said. “You don’t need to-”

He shot up and landed on the branch. Mikasa turned- and vanished downwards. Levi blinked. She had said something.

The smell was like a thick, dizzying mist, forcing it’s way into him. Eren was there. It wasn’t Eren anymore.

Jean whirled around. “What do you mean _it’s not there_? Mikasa!”

He leapt off after her. Annie dove off and landed neatly on the ground. Levi went down after her and looked up. Mikasa was hopping from branch to branch, rapid and agile, and Jean was following her in a much more clumsy way. She paused on one of the branches, then did a somersault off and landed on the ground.

“Here,” she said, and lifted up her hand. There was a coil of thick twine in it, and she uncurled her fist to reveal an iron key.

Hange cheered loudly. Reiner looked up at the tree, frowned, and shot his wire up. Hange readjusted their goggles. “S’pose I’ll check for decomp rate. I’ll be right back!”

“Insane,” Levi muttered, and breathed through his mouth to avoid the overwhelming stench of blood.

Petra turned to look at him. “Are you alright, Captain?”

“I’m fine,” he said, untying his cravat and pressing it over his nose and mouth. But it was no good, that smell remained.

“Um… are you sure?”

“I’m just trying to block the scent,” Levi spat. “You don’t need to act like-” he stopped short. Petra was looking at him in confusion. “Are _you_ alright?”

“What smell?”

He stared at her.

“The- that smell,” he said. “You know- of- of blood?”

She frowned, and looked around in concern. “I don’t smell anything?”

“Never mind,” he muttered.

Reiner landed next to Bert.

“I’m gonna be sick,” he mumbled. “I’m gonna spew out my insides-”

“Yeah, better _those_ all out,” Jean said. Reiner glared at him.

“I’m fine,” Levi muttered.

“I never said you weren’t… Levi,” Petra said.

“Yeah, sure. Alright!” he looked up. “Getting here took too long. We move on _now_ and go until sunrise, and-”

He was interrupted by a long, loud howl. The hairs on his neck and arms rose, and he turned around. Oh, just great. The wolves.

_Why wasn’t I awake?_

“Those wolves are dangerous,” Petra said. “We should go.”

Levi nodded. “You’re not wrong. Everyone, out.”

“He’s decomposing like a normal-”

Levi gave Hange a silencing look.

“Hang on,” Hange said, and took something out of their clock. They moved to the tree, then dug their heel into the earth, before bending over. It looked like they were digging a hole.

“What’s that?”

Hange froze, then turned and almost shyly held out their hand. Levi stared down.

“Is that a bone?”

“Yes,” they said. “It’s Eren’s. I sort of… took it earlier. You know, when we came here with him... It’s been a bit like my good luck charm, lately, but I thought he might want it back.”

“That’s a _bone_.”

They looked down at it sorrowfully. “Though I do hate to part with it… I haven’t died since I’ve had it.”

Levi decided not to point out that complete lack of logic, or that Hange was a lunatic.

His squad. Eren. Three squads. Eren. His. Dead.

“Levi,” Petra said. “I think you need to head out. Are you tired at all?”

“No,” he said, though the scent did make him feel woozy. Hange was still musing over Eren’s bone.

“It was a rib bone, and those _are_ lucky, and it’s so nice and smooth, where the break was… I’ll just bury one of his,” they said sheepishly, and shot up into the tree. A moment later they returned with a small collection of things Levi would never have wanted to look at.

“ _His_?” he sputtered. “Does that make it _yours_?”

Hange did not appear to hear him, and buried the bits. They gagged. “Euch, bug. Alright.” They pulled out their sword and marked the tree with an X then, after some consideration, wrote Eren’s name. “Armin, Mikasa, when was he born?”

Mikasa stared at them.

“Are you okay?”

“I don’t know,” she said.

“Oh, well-”

“I don’t know. I never even considered-”

“I’ll just put his age.”

Hange marked the tree with what Levi couldn’t help but notice was the wrong age- they were off by a year- and sheathed their sword. “May he rest in peace! Now, Mikasa, I’ll hold onto that key.”

“If you don’t mind,” Mikasa answered quietly. “I’d like to hold onto it.”

“Mikasa, I really think I should-”

“Let her hold onto it,” Levi said. “She’s not likely to get eaten.”

Petra started to say something that was probably about closure. Levi dug his heels into the sides of his horse.

“We’re leaving.”

And away from the choking, bloody stench. The wolves were still howling, and the sky was painted pink. They tied themselves to trees and slept for eons.

The next evening, while the Scouts refueled, Petra stopped to speak with Levi.

“That must have been… disorienting,” she said. “Glad you made it through alright.”

“Are you mocking me?”

“No,” she said. “Sorry, Levi, I just… That was pretty hard for you. You and Eren were always really close, and-”

“I’m fine.”

“Of course, sir.” She nodded. A yell came that they were ready to head out.

“But, sir, it can be hard to, you know… make peace with your demons. It was brave of you to face that.”

“I didn’t face anything.”

She didn’t seem to hear him. Too busy paying attention to Annie, he supposed. “But you just have to move on.”

“Riiight.”

“Forgive and forget, as they say.”

“Uh huh. Make sure you get your gas later,” Levi said. “It’s going to be a long night.”


	18. Wolves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It’s not a cry that you hear at night, it’s not somebody who’s seen the light.” -Hallelujah, Jeff Buckley. Also featured in Shrek.

“Well,” Hange said. “We can’t have a tail squad so, let’s just have a Scout do it. It’s really the same thing.”

“It isn’t the same thing at all.”

“Fine, who do _you_ trust to be a tail?”

Levi glanced over the remaining Scouts. “I’d say Mikasa, but she’s not quite suited for that.”

“And she has the key besides.”

“Precisely. So, Petra?”

She was in conversation with the girls, and kept throwing glances towards Annie. Levi remembered what she’d said; it sounded like she wanted to make peace with the Female Titan. Figured, it was _Petra_. She’d forgive a Titan if it ate her leg.

“She is absolutely fantastic,” Hange said. “In fact, she should be here talking to us now. I call bullshit. Oi, Pets! Over here!” She hurried over, a grin rising up to her face. “You’re our reliable friend, want to tail?”

She saluted. “I’d love to!”

Levi nodded. “Good, I know you won’t let us down.”

“I won’t!”

Hange smiled at her. “Alright! Hopefully this our last night in the woods, huh? Should we head out?”

“Yeah,” Levi said. “Petra, make survival priority.”

“Of course!”

And that was that.

Petra waited some time to make sure they could gain some distance. “Well, Anita, it looks like it’s just you and me, huh?” She fished the last apple from her pack and had some before feeding her the rest. “Yeah, you’re a good horse, Anita. Yes you are!” She mounted her. “Come on, let’s do our job.” She pressed her heels into Anita’s sides, and they headed off at a slow trot. “Tonight’s going to be a good night, I think. The stars are lovely. Later I’ll talk to Annie. I think she really is a good person, even if she doesn’t realized. She just needs to make it past what she’s done. Her and everything else. Yes, I’ll talk to her and everything will be…”

She looked up at the sky and remembered bodies flying away, and men falling, and the storm of blood.

“... Fine.”

Petra looked down. “Come on, Anita. Let’s keep going.” _I don’t like these woods. Oluo, Eld, Gunther, and then Eren, too… I hate it here._ She brushed through Anita’s mane with her fingers. A wolf howled in the distance. She didn’t like the wolves, either. They were always there when something went awry, to be their menacing, eerie selves. _I hate it here._

She pulled some of Hange’s pellets out of her pack and chewed them, swallowing roughly. Those tasted terrible, but if Hange said they worked…

“There are those wolves again,” she said quietly to Anita. “Don’t let them get to you. They’re just wolves.”

She rode on through the dark night, looking around. Weeks could have passed, it was dark, cold, and nothing happened. Nothing was out of the ordinary. All was safe for the squads.

She froze and turned to look at one of the trees. She’d sworn she’d seen a face. But there was nothing. She kept riding, then stopped again, turning sharply.

“Oluo?” No, there was nothing. She wanted to hit herself. “Look at me, Anita! It’s a tree! Ha…” She started up again. Funny how trees could look like anything you wanted when it was dark. The fog didn’t help either. Fogs, darkness, wolves. Just great. Petra sighed. Well, it still looked like an easy job, even if she swore she heard footsteps. She reached for another pellet.

And fell.

She shouted as Anita buckled sideways and jumped up. A wolf had latched onto Anita’s front leg. She swiped at it and it fixed it’s yellow eyes on her. She pulled out her sword, hit it over the head, and pushed it away. Anita rose unsteadily.

There came another howl.

“Good girl,” she said, and jumped on her back. She dug in her heels, and Anita galloped away unsteadily. “Stay quick. Come on.” _Survival is priority. Like Levi said_. “Come on! We’ll lose them in no time.”

The silence seemed to prove her right. Then came a howl, then another, and Anita fell out from under her once more. Petra yelled and shot up her gear, latching onto the trees, and swung her sword at one of the wolves. Oh _god_. There were so many. She sliced through one’s neck.

“Anita!”

There was no answer from her faithful horse.

Most members of the Survey Corps don’t name their horses; they die quickly. You shouldn’t get attached to something so easily lost. That’s how must Scouts went through life.

Petra though, had given Anita a name. She’d often thought that if she had a daughter, she’d name her Anita.

Though lately, there didn’t seem much chance of that.

“Anita!” She dove into the fray, hitting and stabbing at the beasts, but it was no good. She had spirit, but they had hunger. By the time she’d made it to Anita, she could see bones.

She shot her gear into the trees and swung away. It was no good. Anita was dead.

Her cheeks were wet. Survival. Priority.

Something sharp dug into her ankle; she kicked but the wolf had her tight. Petra paused to hit it over the head before continuing her flight.

The wolves were after her, barking and snapping at her heels, and she just couldn’t seem to get away. _I’m a soldier. You’re a soldier, Petra. Be brave, like Levi, or Hange, or Oluo- you’re a soldier…_

Survival was priority and, in her haste to live, she relied on instinct. She was low on gas and, knowing she had to get out, shot her wires as high up as she could. But in her frenzy, they crossed each other, so that her left wire shot right, and her right went to the left.

There was one moment before they latched onto the trees where she saw what she’d done, and accepted her fate.

The wires met their marks and went taunt, she was suspended for a moment before they snapped back into their proper positions, and she spun over, falling out. They hung from the trees and at their center was Petra, a stuffed doll that had been overworked and overused. Her arms and legs hung out below her.

There was only the ground; it seemed miles away. She blinked. Gas. Gone. _Didn’t refuel…_

The wolves got up with her, filling the circle of the ground that had become her world. They jumped up.

 _Oh. I’m out of their reach…_ She could have cried from relief.

Then the left wire lost its grip. She plummeted several feet before her right wire caught her, and she let out a short, panicked scream.

_No. No, I have one wire. One… I can fight some wolves. I can…_

Her fall had loosened one of her swords; it slid from its sheath and her balance shifted, sending ripples up her wire. She couldn’t see it, but she still looked up in terror, still and silent.

The hook at the end of Petra’s wire swayed, it tipped, and it slid down. She spiralled further before it caught on a new branch. Once again, she let out a scream.

* * *

 

Levi brought his horse to an abrupt stop, and turned.

“Did you hear that?”

Hange frowned. “What, those wolves?”

“There was a scream.”

“You mean a howl?”

“No, from behind-”

“Where the wolves are?”

“Where the wolves… are… Hmm.” He went for his gear. “I’d still like to check.” He shot his gear. No wires came. “I’m out of the gas. Huh.” He pulled out a new supply of gas. He knew he’d forgotten something. “Hange, hold on. I have to refuel.”


	19. Petra

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His wide eyes search unconsciously.  
> He cannot shriek.  
> Bloody saliva  
> Dribbles down his shapeless jacket.  
> I saw him stab  
> And stab again  
> A well-killed Boche  
> This is the happy warrior.  
> From “The Happy Warrior” by Herbert Read

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this and the last chapter listening to this song [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVAfR3QjFKo] on endless repeat. In hindsight, it might work more with the last chapter than this one, but it carried me through these scenes too. I think it fits this section very well, from the start of the woods to the end, so I'd love it if you gave it a listen! :)
> 
> Also, I'm thinking of going through and specifying arcs a bit. Like, this part would be "Into the Woods" or something similar. If anyone has any thoughts on that, I'd love to hear.
> 
> Thank you so much for comments and kudos! This story means a lot to me, and it's amazing to know some people actually care about it to. You're all stars on earth.

“That wolf kind of sounded like a person, huh?”

“Sure,” Levi muttered, and gave his gear a hit. It wasn’t in perfect condition, but at least it had gas. “There, I refu-”

“Hey, you okay, shortstack?”

Levi stared at his gear.

“Levi? Ravioli? Shorty?”

“Petra,” He realized, then fired his gear into the trees. “I’m going to check on her, she needs to refuel to.”

Hange’s eyes widened. “Do you need me to-”

“No, stay with the children, it’s nothing to worry about. I’ll be back any moment.”

* * *

 

“Nice dog,” Petra said quietly. “Nice doggie… good boy- Oh, Hange would want me to ask… I’m sorry, I don’t know your pronouns… Nice wolfie…”

Her sword was still slipping. Falling. Her balance was changing.

It fell. She inhaled sharply.

Her tight wire loosened, blew in the night breeze, and Petra went down.

She reached for her sword, meeting teeth and claw, but her fingers found her hilt. She slashed out. It was dark, there were wolves, _I can’t see-_

Something sharp dug into her wrist. She dropped her sword. _No!_ She hit out with her arms, she kicked and hit, she shrieked, but there were so many wolves, and there was only her to fight them.

“Get off! Get off of me! Bad dog, leave me-” She was bleeding, she knew she was, she was going to-

_“Petra!”_

_C-Captain…_

Her mouth formed words; there was no sound. He appeared from above like an angel of vengeance, blades a blur. He knocked the wolves away from her, and she stared at him.

“Get up!”

She scrambled to her feet, not daring to look at herself. She didn’t want to see what a mess she was. Levi met her eyes then looked her up and down. She had to be a wreck.

“Get out of here!” he instructed, she saluted and looked around.

Her gear was dead. She began to back away, looking from side to side. She could climb a tree, maybe? Her ankle hurt when she moved. Everything hurt.

 _Oh no_. She was looking at yellow. One of the wolves. It came towards her.

Everything was a red blur to her.

She continued to back away; it was moving towards her. She reached for her sword; no, it was gone, she was a soldier, time to be resourceful…

Her back was against a tree.

She breathed in, almost gasping and turned, and the wolf came at her.

* * *

 

A wolf came at Levi, but it couldn’t match a sword. There came another and he struck once more. They fell down, but he kept hitting. Slicing. Even when they began to slow.

There was a low growl coming from somewhere behind him. He spun around. One of the wolves had Petra against a tree.

_“Petra!”_

One of them had his arm now, he shook it off. The wolf dove on her, she hit the tree with a thud and a scream, and Levi ran faster.

It felt like he was moving through mud and quicksand, and the choking scent of blood was all around.

Petra shrieked and struggled but she had no weapon, Levi sliced for the back of the wolf’s neck and it went limp. He stabbed, and stabbed again, until the wolf was twitching and probably had no blood left. He grabbed Petra, fired his gear, and took off.

“Hold onto me,” he said. She didn’t move. “Petra, _hold on_.”

Her arms, light, brittle, and red, went around him, and her grip was light. She was like spider silk and feathers, the night mist around him, cold and soft. _Hold on._ He curled his own arms around her, holding her tightly, and swung from tree to tree, branch to branch, point to point, not even searching for the rest of the group; just trying to get her away. After what took too long the howls and barks vanished, and Levi landed.

“I’m going to check your wounds,” he said. “Where are they?”

She said something incoherent; in her soaked white uniform it was impossible to tell where she’d been injured. He took off his cloak.

“That last one went for your throat, is it alright?”

“I…”

He took her chin and lifted it to look. It had fallen short, leaving a dark, deep gash below her throat, but at least it hadn’t torn it out. She could live through this. He brought out his sword, and gave her a corner of his cloak. “Hold this tightly,” he said, pulled out his sword, and slashed through it until it was tattered. “I’m going to bandage you, so I hope you don’t mind if I tear off your sleeves. Are there any injuries on your torso?”

She nodded.

She was going to lose a lot of blood. He would have to keep her from going into shock. He started undoing her cloak, then pulled at the seams of her wet scarlet sleeves before peeling them off. He sponged up the blood with one of the rags from his cloak.

Christ. Her arm was a mess. He prayed she’d make it through with it.

“I’m bandaging you now,” he said in what he hoped was a calm, soothing voice. He tied rags tightly around all her injuries. Each looked deep and deadly. _Please be alright._

His eyes fell down to her wrist. She’d been bitten there. He inhaled sharply and started bandaging.

There were veins there. Arteries. That was were her blood _went_.

He repeated the process with her other arm, which was just as bad if not worse, then looked to her legs, and her torso, and the gash by her throat. In his pack he only had temporary first aid supplies, the rest was split up amongst the squad.

He pressed his fingers to Petra’s temple. Her breath was shaky. She felt clammy; her skin was cold and slick. He picked up cloak from the ground and wrapped it around her.

“Just breathe,” he said. “You can do that, right? Breathe, and don’t let your eyes close. Right?”

She nodded, but her breaths remained uneven, shallow. He picked her up, her head falling into the crook of his neck, and shot off again. Now he had to find the others. Now he had to find them fast.

“... Levi?”

“Yes?” he answered softly, not slowing down.

“I’m sorry. I forgot to fill up my gas. And then I went to help my horse...”

He looked down at her, her skin pale and porcelain, her eyes tired and half-closed, and tightened his grip.

“It’s fine,” he muttered, and they were silent. The night was loud enough.

They must’ve been getting close to the group when it started.

“No,” she said. “I’m fine, I really am.”

“... Petra…?”

“You’re just worried over nothing! I’m just a little scratched up. I’m just-”

She broke into a coughing fit, and pulled away a bloody hand, which she disregarded.

“Are you talking to me?”

“It isn’t so bad here, really,” she went on. “It’s not perfect but it’s all we have. Things are getting better, I think. They will be one day, I can tell.”

“Petra-”

She laughed. “No, it’s been nice. I knew it would be worth it. Yes, that’s been difficult, but I think she’s really a good person. She reminds me of you, a little bit.” She blinked and looked around. “Where’s Anita? I-”

She broke into a coughing fit again, spitting out more blood, and pushed her hair out of her eyes, leaving a trail of red on her chin and forehead.

“Of course I can,” she said, her voice a weak rattle. “Just let me get this off.”

And she began to untie the bandage on her wrist.

“Petra,” Levi said. “Stop-”

It fell away, and she didn’t seem to notice the blood that immediately sprang out; she reached for her hip.

“If I can just get my gear out-”

 _“Petra_!”Levi shouted. “Stop-”

She plummeted downwards, he swung and caught her, and landed clumsily on the ground.

“Captain Levi,” she said breathily. “I’m sorry. He challenged me to a race and I-”

“He?”

She blinked. “Oluo.” She smiled. “I’m going to beat him.” She let out a long sigh, her breath warm against him.

“Petra,” he commanded. “Look at me. This is an order. I want you to keep your eyes open, and breathe. In time with me, okay? In, out, in- Petra, in time with me- this is an _order_ , Petra- _Petra-_ ”

“I’m going to,” she exhaled, and her forehead fell against the crook of his neck again. “Thanks for everything, but If I want to beat him-”

_“Petra-”_

“I’ve really got to get going.”

 _“That was an order, Petra-_ ”

“So serious,” she laughed, and did not laugh again. Levi held her tightly and did not let go.

“Let’s get you back to camp,” he said. She blinked slowly, closing her eyes, and not opening them again for a moment. Clutching her, he started off again. He could scarcely see the forest through the fog, but he was certain he could get them back to the group. They were just a little ways away.

He heard Petra’s breath stutter, and came to a halt, looking down. Her eyes found something behind him.

She let out a breath and did not take it back in. He undid his cravat and wiped the blood away from her face, but couldn’t get that bit in the corner of her mouth. He paused, and quickly wiped his eyes, before tying the cloth over her neck so her gash was gone. He adjusted her bandages so her wrist was covered. It was all for nothing, of course. It seemed like the right thing to do, but wouldn’t bring her back.

Petra Ral was no more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now you know why I can't listen to Out of the Woods without crying about Petra.
> 
> There will be more updates this week, we'll be finishing this arc before I go offline for vacation.


	20. Casulties

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You smug-faced crowds with kindling eye  
> Who cheer when soldier lads march by,  
> Sneak home and pray you’ll never know  
> The hell where youth and laughter go.  
> From “Suicide in the Trenches” by Siegfried Sassoon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so sorry, it's way overdue. I may have everything written out, but I completely forgot about posting after I came back from vacay. But this arc is pretty much over, so now I"ll try to start putting out the next one with proper timing!
> 
> The new chapters sure are great, huh? Hope you guys are enjoying them as much as me. 
> 
> This chapter just kind of happened. It wasn't quite as planned as the others, and it's definitely not as strong, but I decided to leave it in because... I liked it, I guess. I hope you do, too!

Feet dragging on the ground, shadows under eyes, and cracks in your armor and underneath. Fog becomes mist, becomes rain. It’s cold and wet. Inside and out. Sometimes you don’t get warm again. Coldness. It’s not a feeling on the outside, it seeps in and stains your core. Rain falling in your boots and from your eyes and heavens, rain wetting your cheeks and sliding through the cracks.

The world is never still. It never stops. You can sit down, you can freeze, pause, wilt, but it continues onwards whether or not you’re there. It doesn’t care. It doesn’t. Nothing matters to the world.

Eyes look at you. They’re bright, they’re emerald and amber, they shine like stars. Green, leaves in the rain, amber, sun at dawn. The absence of what’s important is liberating. You carry what is lost and never stand still; you carry it everywhere. It’s your biggest burden, always on your shoulders, clutched to your breast, and it seems to you that people never live quite as long as they should. Whether one dies naturally or not they were still there for such a short time, and time goes by so fast.

Sometimes you think you aren’t alone but the tables and chairs are empty, there are trees and walls but no one stands next to you. Those who once helped you carry your burden become it. The world is darkness and disease and it strikes at those around you. Nothing lasts forever.

Nothing is perfect. Nothing is untouched.

But the flawed world is all you have. And your flawed self. Flawed beauty and porcelain and things that happen too late or too soon. Things that could, and maybe should, have happened long ago. Are you thankful that they were allowed to stay for so long, even if they were taken? Or do you curse that fate tempted you?

Red is all around, an ocean, and you are drowning. You choke though your lungs are full.

Emerald and amber look back. Jewels lose their shine. Eyes are empty.

* * *

 

“I told you, didn’t I?”

Hange turned and saw Levi approaching them. They grinned, offering the reins of his horse. He shook his head.

“You’ve got rotten luck, back right after the rain stopped.” Hange looked at the young woman in his arms. “Is Petra alright?”

His eyes seemed empty, they were dark, and he shook his head.

“Bring her over here, I’ve got my first aid kit-”

All around, people were reacting, murmuring Petra’s name, but it seemed that the whole world fell only between Hange and Levi.

He dropped her, and she hit the ground. It was fascinating and grotesque, the way she did not seem to bounce, the silent sound she made when she collided with the earth, the way she did not react at all. No gasp. No sound of pain. No attempt to catch herself. And she did not get back up.

Hange turned their horse to look at Levi.

“I told you,” he repeated, his voice swelling in volume. “Didn’t I? This expedition was too risky. We never make it past these woods.”

“Levi,” they said. “Expeditions always have casualties.”

“Oh, you’re right, they do. I’m so terribly sorry!” He lifted a hand. “Let’s _count_ some, shall we? To prove you right? Should we do just this expedition? Go back to Eren? To the fifty seventh? How far back should we turn the clock?!”

“There are always casualties. We have to-”

“Keep going? For what? So we can make it there and never get home? How many on _this expedition alone_? And how many of _us_ are there? Let’s do a head count, everyone! I see sixteen! Do we even know the _names_ of the people we lost in all those _other_ troops?”

“We have a list, Levi,” Hange said evenly. “When we get back, we cross out the names of everyone who’s come back-”

“Right! I’m sorry! You’re right. That’s the proper way to do things. Now, which of us are going to make it back to do that? I told you this expedition wasn’t worth it!”

“It _is_!”

He scowled. “It isn’t. This is a pointless loss of lives, we’re only chasing smoke, and we’re turning around now.”

_“Levi!”_

“Don’t you Levi me! That’s _Corporal!_ We’re turning back while someone’s still around to give the order!”

“No we aren't,” Hange said, their voice rising as well, but still calm and composed. “I’m pulling rank. We’re getting to that basement if it kills me.”

“Nevermind you! Who else are you willing to kill for it?”

“Collateral damage,” Hange said. “It can’t be avoided, Levi. It can’t be helped, people die, it’s what they do- I won’t pretend it doesn’t hurt but we have to keep-”

“No we don’t! We don’t have to let them die like this! Is that all it is, Hange? _Collateral damage?_ These are people! They have lives, and loved ones, they aren’t just puppet and chess pieces and- and _science experiments-_ We’re turning around! We aren’t going to sacrifice anyone else!”

He turned briskly on his heel, then spun around, unsheathing his sword and jumping back to catch Hange’s blade. He wasn’t fast enough, and it grazed his cheek before he could block it.

“You didn’t just a pull a sword on me,” he said.

“I’m right below Erwin,” Hange hissed. “ _You_ did not just pull a sword on _me_.”

“My respect for you is disappearing rapidly,” Levi said. “Attacking a man from behind and calling him out for defending himself. That and the fact that you just tried to stab me in the back.”

Hange growled. “We need to keep going.”

“You literally tried to stab me in the back.”

“Levi, we need to keep-”

“Oh, my. You tried to stab me in the back. Beautiful symbolism, but I don’t exactly think we can remain friends anymore. You see, I don’t like it when people try to kill me.”

“ _I’m not trying to kill you!”_ Hange pulled their sword back. “You have to understand! We need to get to this basement! We need to know the truth!” They pointed their blade at him. “This is our last hope!”

“No!” Levi parried their strike. “ _We_ are our own last hope!”

“It’s for humanity!”

“We’re all humanity has left! Right now, humanity’s last hope is me, a group of _kids_ , and a lunatic!”

Hange screamed and raced at him, flinging blows that had no purpose but to harm him.

“We’re going to keep going!” they shrieked. “You can’t stop me! We have to keep going!”

“Mikasa! Take your key, and _run_! As far away as you can! You’re in charge! Everyone follow-”

“ _Stop telling them they need to retreat-”_

“Just get the hell away from this-”

“ _You stop that sentence right there!”_

There was loud shuffling, as horses went speeding away, Hange turned and sprinted after their own. Levi dove for them, and knocked them onto the muddy ground. They kicked, shouting and struggling to pull up their arms. Levi grabbed by the shoulders and forced them down.

“Get off of me! You piece of _shit_!”

“Down!”

 _“Get off!”_ Hange bit his hand; he pulled it back and they got their arm free, forcing Levi down and rolling onto him. Their hands found his throat. _“We have to do this!”_

“We have to live!”

 _“No!_ You don’t!” They were on top of his torso- he couldn’t get his arms free- Hange was a vice around his neck-

“ _Hange-_ ”

“You don’t understand! We have to give them up if we want to save everything else- we need to find out the truth- knowledge- it’s priceless- _You don’t understand, you never understood-_ ”

“Hange, I’m-”

“ _You never understood at all! No one does-”_ Levi kicked his legs as hard as he could, trying to throw them off, but it did nothing, nothing at all. _”But you were always so horrible about it! You just don’t get it!”_

There was a blackness pushing at his temples; the edge of his vision was white and fading. “I-”

 _“You never did! Never! Why can’t you just trust me? Don’t you think I deserve it?! Why can’t you just-_ ”

“I- I can’t-” His own voice didn’t seem to come from him, he couldn’t be so weak, sound so feeble-

“ _No! You can’t! You never could! I wish you’d just die!”_

“I… going… Han…”  Their voice seemed to come from somewhere far away, and they looked like they were distant, too. His chest burnt like a flame and he felt it go out; he would crumple like paper in wind and under stones. His hands had gotten out but they couldn’t seem to make it up to theirs. His arms felt heavy, his whole body felt heavy- they were still screaming and shouting, they were crying, he thought, though everything felt so far away- cold, heavy, dark- He tried to say their name, but instead sounds came out that he never thought he’d make. It all felt foggy, slow. He remembered writing his will with palace paper millions of years ago and wondered if it was still around. They had shaken keys over his head and come like an angel to save him, an insane angel, mad and laughing, a banshee, sobbing, but that was really the same- _one on the left, two on the right, but you aren’t smiling now-_ everyone was lost in the end. He might appreciate the dramatic irony if everything around him wasn’t a haze. He was still letting out those unearthly sounds, gurgling, bubbles bursting in his throat- _“Han… ge… can’t… let… get… don’t…”_

_“You never understood! You never did at all and you always treated me like garbage even though I’m one of the only people who doesn’t care that you sponge up everything that’s good and you never understood at all you didn’t you didn’t you didn’t-”_

The world went colorless. It wasn’t black or white. Her voice was tinny and miles away, quiet, calming, _you never even- you didn’t- why aren’t you- Levi?_

And then there was nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry too much about him. The next update will probably be either this Monday, or the Monday of next week (I'll be resuming my beginning of week updates). See you then!


	21. Interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It won’t be in vain to swallow all your pain… Faces in the crowd will smile again.” -The Weeknd

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm late again, because I'm the worst. This is short and the plot is not advanced. But... stuff?
> 
> Maybe I'll post another chapter before next Monday.

The charge away from Levi and Hange was not directed towards the safety of inner walls, but rather away, because that route was blocked by their duel, and the simplest way to get away was straight ahead, so they would not get lost in the trees. Mikasa did not look back but others did, Bertholdt and Reiner, Armin, Sasha, and more. Many more. The experienced Scouts from Hange’s squad had disappeared into the woods, she realized when she looked back. Whether or not they’d returned, or slowed down, or something else entirely- she did not know.

“Stop,” she said, and the group came to a halt. Mikasa looked around. Ten other people. “It will be dawn… sooner or later. We should make camp before we do anything.” She pulled the reins of her horse up. “I’ll check the area, Jean, you’re in charge.”

Jean, while as disturbed and terrified as everyone else, still managed to look pleased with his new position. Mikasa dug her heels into the horse’s sides and started off at a brisk pace.

“Hey, it’s kind of cold out, should we build a-”

“We can make do!”

It didn’t seem that cold to her. It never did.

* * *

 

Hange shrieked and sobbed. The rain came down once more. They cried and shouted, and their breaths didn’t reach their chest.

“Uh- huh- huh huh- uu-”

Their eyes screwed shut, salt on their cheeks- they tilted their head up into the storm and screamed.

* * *

 

He was angrier than ever, and she didn’t know what had sparked it. She clenched her fists.

“I don’t need you looking after me!” he shouted, throat scratched and raw. “I can take care of myself! I’m not a child! _You aren’t my shadow_!”

“You think it isn’t a hassle keeping _you_ out of trouble?”

“Oh, she speaks!”

“That I enjoy getting you out of messes? But I still have a responsibility to look out for you!”

“I don’t _need_ you looking out for me! I don’t know if you think you’re repaying some massive debt or if you’re obsessed with me but _you can leave me alone_!”

“So you’ve never considered that I _care_ about you?”

“I don’t! You’re always around, I can’t consider _anything_ with you breathing down my neck! You can give me some space once every ten years, you know!”

“And where would you be without me? What would you do?”

“I’m stronger than you think! You treat me like a _child_!”

“I’m sorry!”

“You should be!”

“Maybe if you feel that way I shouldn’t come on this mission with you!” Her voice was foreboding. “If you need a _break_ from me?!”

“You know what?! I think that would be best!”

She did not sleep that night, or the next, her stomach twisted and tangled into knots. She reassured herself. He would be fine. Eren would be fine. He always was. He could make do, he could shift, he would be _fine-_

And still she could not sleep, her fingernails clenched into her palms, staring at the dark ceiling and trembling with fear, terror that she was wrong-

So she promised herself. She would not rest easy. Not until his safe return.

* * *

 

Levi turned the doorknob and found it locked. She was still in there? He knocked.

“Oi, Isabel!”

“Jesus! Are you back _already?_ ”

“Hurry it up, would you?”

“Hey, mister, it’s not my fault _you_ got here early!”

“Open the doors!”

“Nuh uh!” Isabel laughed from inside. Levi could hear laughter. “Go ‘way and come back later!”

Levi snarled and reached for the doorknob and pulled. It was still locked, and no amount of force could turn it.

“Isabel!”

“Like she said, back later!”

 _“Farlan!”_ Levi shouted. “Let me in!”

There was sniggering, then whispering. “Over here?” “No, there.” “Here?” “To the left, more…”

“Fine,” Levi muttered and spun on his heel. What the hell was taking so long?

* * *

 

She remembered days when it had been cold. Those days were far in the past, and farther every day. Her left hand found its way toward her neck, latching onto the red fabric she always wore. It kept her warm.

Mikasa could remember cold days, when she was down on the ground with only the sky, when it was only her- and he had always come like a hurricane to stop her from freezing to death.

She could remember thinking that she wanted to die. She remembered thinking that she had to live, if only so she could think of him and if only to _remember_ -

Maybe she’d known, then, that it wasn’t all lost. But now remembering was what hurt the worst. It was a knife of ice in her chest and it burnt in her stomach and skin; it rained down from her eyes and froze her mind.

She pulled the scarf down and went to throw it, before changing her mind and folding it neatly. She tucked it into her cloak. It was too precious to leave lying in the woods. A dead man’s relic. An artifact from ancient times. She would keep it for as long as she did, until it was lost or given away to someone with use for it.

She kicked into her horse and urged them onwards, faster. Ice would melt, someday.

 _I don’t want to think of you anymore._  

Someday.


	22. Mikasa

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas! Especially you, egg lord. This is long overdue, but thankfully the Santa Man came.

**Chapter Twenty One**

Before anything else came the air, clear and cold, flooding into his lungs and filling him up, through his nose and his aching throat, swelling his chest. Underneath him were mud and stones; slick and prodding, and something propping up his head. And something that seemed tight around him. The rain had washed away any scent. Then came the sounds.

Someone was weeping.

He blinked his eyes and was surprised to find they opened; he was still in the damned forest, and his body seemed intact, so he supposed he wasn’t dead. He opened his mouth to speak.

“Nngh,” he said. _That came out wrong._

The world spun into focus; he could see Hange, and the tree tops. It was still dark out, but the moon was gone, the sky seemed like it might be a little lighter, though the stars were still out.

“Hange,” he said. “You’re sitting on me. I can’t breathe.”

So it was Hange who was crying. They had him lifted up partially, holding his head and shoulders. They moved off of him but their sounds did not stop, and their grip seemed to tighten around them.

“Don’t crush my ribcage.”

But they did. Levi could not think of anything to say, so he was silent. Hange held onto him and listened to his heartbeat, and his breaths, his beautiful, imperfect breathing. They were stroking his hair like he was a child and their bony arms were much too tight. Hange pressed their lips to his neck and his temple, then the other side of his neck.

There was only the sounds of their breathing, heavy, and unbalanced.

“Please stop crying on me. You’re getting me all wet.”

Hange pulled back and wiped their face. “I’m… I’m sorry.”

“So you should be.”

“For a moment I’d- I thought-”

“I’m fine, no thanks to you.”

Hange nodded, and looked up with brown eyes, bright and sorrowful, and right in front of him.

“Thank you.”

“Of course,” Levi said graciously, not sure why he was being thanked.

“I mean it.”

“It was no trouble at all. Whatever I did.”

Hange laughed, and wiped their face once more. “You’re right. We should head back.”

“No,” Levi said firmly.

“... No?”

“See, I was thinking while I was unconscious-”

“No you weren’t. That’s not how it works.”

“Shh, Hange, I could’ve died, let me finish my sentence. We have _those_ three with us.”

“Reiner, Bertholdt, and Annie.”

“I said to let me finish!”

“My apologies, Captain.”

“Just Levi’s fine.”

“Of course.” Hange sniggered. “Shorty.”

“No mocking within five minutes of near death experiences! But we have _them_ with us. And if we don’t see them through to the other side of the wall, they might very well attack us again. Or some shit. Trost probably can’t take another break in the wall.”

Hange frowned. “You’re right.” They laughed weakly. “Of course.”

Levi took their hand and squeezed it. “It just so happens your basement lies inside the wall, so we may just stop there yet.”

Hange nodded and, once more, dried their cheeks, then threw their arms around Levi. He patted their back awkwardly.

“Should we go find everyone else? You won’t go batty again?”

“I’ll try.”

“Good enough for me.” Levi stood and pulled Hange up. “And just our luck, it’s raining.”

“Yeah.”

“Fantastic. Let’s go.”'

 

“But what if they ask about the… _you_ know,” Hange hissed.

“Just don’t mention it, and maybe they won’t.”

“Good idea!”

“I don’t know why you’re whispering.”

“I- _aw_!”

“What?!”

“The rain is stopping!” Hange whined. “Now the sun will come out soon!”

“Well, in that case, we’d better catch up with the others before it does.” A howl came from the distance. Levi stiffened and hastened his pace. Why did the rest of the group have to take their horses?

“Are you alright?”

“I’m fine. That wolf sounded close, is all.”

“Uh,” Hange glanced back. “How did Petra… you know…” they sliced their fingers along their throat in a gesture with a clear meaning.

“She ran into a pack of them.”

“At _night_?”

“That is when they’re most active.”

“What?”

“What?”

“They’re most active during the day,” Hange said.

“No they’re not, they come out at night.”

“Don’t all the facts say they need the sun?”

Levi sighed loudly. “ _Wolves_ , Hange. It was _wolves_.”

“Oh! Right. Duh.” Hange laughed awkwardly. “Um, _wolves_?”

“There were a lot of them?”

“Wolves…” Hange mused. “Hey, do you think…”

“What?”

“Nothing, just…”

“Spit it out.”

“Do you think it’s possible that wolves got Eren?”

Levi turned to look at her.

“I mean, there were some… around, that night, and if they’d heard us looking for him they’d have scrammed, which is why he wasn’t all gone, whereas a Titan would have finished the job.”

“That… does make sense,” Levi agreed. “It wouldn’t explain the bone shoved inside of-”

Hange snapped. “The poison!”

“What?”

“It was slow acting! Eventually he’d have been completely paralyzed- what if it happened midair? Hell, he wouldn’t even have needed to be poisoned! Just one slip up and he’d have slammed into a tree or onto the ground! If his wire was in the wrong position and his momentum was wrong, his arm could have even been severed!”

“Why are you so excited about this?”

“ _Because_! We owe it to him to _at least_ know how he died! Don’t we?”

“You’re not wrong.”

Hange sniffed. “I smell fire.”

_“Oi!”_

The two looked up into a tree. Connie was waving at them.

“I think we found them,” Hange said.

“No shit.”

The two headed up.

“Alright,” Hange said. “We are _clearly_ missing people. Where’s the rest of my lot?”

“Don’t know,” Jean said. “We’d figured they’d hung around with you.”

“Well, they didn’t.” Hange frowned. “ _Man_ , how are we supposed to make it there with… eleven of us?”

“There are thirtee-” Levi broke off to scan the group of teenagers. “ _Where’s_ _Mikasa_?!”

“Oh,” Jean shrugged. “She went off on patrol, should be back soon-”

 _“But she was in charge!_ If no one’s in charge then who’s bossing them around?!”

Jean followed Levi’s finger the direction it was pointing- which was at Reiner and Bertholdt. _“And where’s Annie?_ ”

“I’m on your other side,” she said from his other side.

_“You better be!”_

“Ignore him,” Hange said. “He is a short, bitter old man.”

"Damn right I'm bitter! My throat's still sore, mind you!"

Hangs nodded. There were rustling sounds and Mikasa appeared, contracting her gear.

"Safe," she said. Reiner took this as a cue to say something that was probably stupid to Bertholdt, who flushed and hid his face. Levi wanted to point it out and embarrass them but it seemed a useless waste of time.

Hange elbowed him and he wanted to push them off the branch, but refrained from doing so. He was doing a good job with the self control right now.

“Well,” Levi said, since no one was going to take charge. “If the sun’s coming up, we rest for now. We’ll continue onwards when it’s gone again.” Hange elbowed him again. They had really bony elbows. He glared at them, and went on. “I can’t believe we lost three people. We literally lost them. _Literally._ ” Hange shoved him a third time. Levi scowled. “Anyways, camp, make it.”

 _“Psst,”_ Hange said.

_“What?!”_

They jerked their head towards Mikasa, who was standing on a branch and looking down onto the ground in what might have been a pose, but could have been normal guarding. Levi wasn’t sure.

“So?”

“Wait till she turns around,” Hange whispered. Mikasa didn’t move. Hange sighed. “Oi, Mikasa!”

Mikasa turned, eyebrows raised, and Levi understood. He rarely showed surprise, but his eyebrows almost rose, and his jaw might have slackened.

“Yes?” Mikasa said, when it became clear Hange wasn’t about to say something anytime soon.

“Uh… see anything odd?”

“No.”

“Anything happen?”

“No.”

“Great,” Hange gave her a thumbs up. “Fantastic! Back to… yeah.” They elbowed Levi once more, and he shoved them away. “See it?”

“Yes,” Levi said. “It’d be hard to miss it.”

Mikasa didn’t have her scarf on. And she was acting like she’d never worn a scarf in the first place. Like it was normal to be able to see her neck. Good lord. Mikasa had a neck. It looked like Jean had noticed when she turned around, because he and Armin were whispering and shooting her suspicious looks.

“She has a _neck_ ,” Levi said.

“I know! It’s weird.”

“Where is it?”

“I dunno! She’s acting so- so _nonchalant_!”

“I’m gonna ask her about it,” Levi said, starting towards her. Hange grabbed his arm.

“No _o_! What if she lost it and is upset? What if it’s gone forever and she doesn’t wanna talk about it? What if she hates you forever because you made her talk about it?”

“Hange,” Levi said. “Calm down.” He considered adding on a, _“I really don’t know how you made it to your current ranking, or how you’ve lived this long,”_ but thought better.

“You shouldn’t question her! Let Armin do it. Let’s go to bed.”

“But-”

“Shh.”

“I-”  
“ _Sleep_ , Levi. Sleeping time.”

“But you-”

“Levi!”

Maybe he should push her off the branch. With luck, a Titan would come along.

 

“Hey, Mikasa? Are you awake?”

She blinked open her eyes. The sky was bright and clouded beyond the treetops. She turned her head, tired mind not processing anything, and met two blue eyes. She blinked again.

“Yes.”

Armin looked at her. He must have gotten out of bed; his hair was a little rumpled and he was bent over next to her, rather than tied to his branch of choice. He looked down at the leaves below, and bit his lip.

“Is something the matter?”

“I was just wondering… Um…”

Mikasa moved, her ropes going slack, and reached into her jacket. She pulled out the red scarf and handed it to Armin. It swung in the breeze, unravelling downwards. He did not move, so she extended her hand. “Here.”

He took it from her, looking shocked. He held it like it was completely foreign, eyes wide and amazed, and ran his hands over it.

“You can keep it,” Mikasa said. “Use it to tie up your hair or something.”

Armin flushed. “My hair’s not much longer than yours,” he mumbled, though it had grown in the many months since the fifty seventh expedition. He just didn’t pay attention to trimming it any more. “Especially not since yours has grown out.” Her hair, too, had gotten longer in the time that had passed. She must not have noticed, because she raised a brow and touched the tips of it.

“I suppose not.”

“You’ll have to cut it soon.”

Mikasa didn’t say anything, twisting a curl of her hair around her finger and frowning.

“I have considered growing it out,” she admitted.

“Really?” Armin asked disbelievingly. “Why?”

“I’ve just considered it,” she gave him a sharp look. “It’s not like I’m doing anything drastic, Armin.”

“Okay.”

Reiner stopped snoring. Armin went still and turned to look. A moment later, he began again, and Armin sighed with relief.

“You should get some sleep,” Mikasa said. “Once we’re out of this forest, we’re in view of the wall.”

“I know!” Armin gushed. “Depending on our route, we could be anywhere from a day to three days journey! Can you imagine? Shiganshina!”

“I know,” Mikasa said.

“I wonder how Bert and Reiner feel?”

“I imagine they’re excited.”

“Damn right we are,” Reiner said. “And also really, _really_ tired.”

Bertholdt mumbled something. Armin apologized, while Reiner shushed Bertholdt and told him to go back to sleep because he needed his rest.

Armin carefully folded the scarf and handed it back to Mikasa. She tucked it into her cloak and tightened her ropes, Armin returned to his own branch and refastened his. The sun climbed into the sky and they went to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writer is problematic: forgets how to recreate the lines between text on AO3.


	23. Watch

Over the course of the next night, a search for the high ranking members of Hange’s squad ensued but by the time the sun rose, none were in sight. In the pink morning skies they made their way towards the edge of the forest. Several Titans were encountered; Levi dealt with them swiftly and they made it to the end of the woods. The next morning, they moved on. Levi couldn’t help but feel glad to be out of the place. After all, he could count the losses from that place on more than one hand. He didn’t like going through it on expeditions.

“This is the home stretch!” Hange shouted to the small band of soldiers, all of them pushing their horses as fast as they could go. “No more shrubbery to hide in! The wall will come into view, and we _will_ have to ride in daylight!”

“I don’t see the wall,” Reiner called from somewhere in the back.

“That’s because you have horrible eyesight,” Hange yelled.

“I do not!”

“I don’t see it either,” Armin said.

“You all need glasses! I can see it perfectly!”

Levi wasn’t sure why people insisted the wall was viewable from the end of the forest. Probably to make it seem less bleak. Personally, he couldn’t see a damn thing, especially not in the darkness. The moon and stars had gone on vacation and the clouds were throwing a party while they gone. At least the weather was likeable.

When the moon was starting to set, they stopped to double check the fuel tanks and eat dinner. Levi couldn’t help but notice that Sasha’s diet consisted solely of Hange’s pellets. Everyone else had done a good job with their rations. She, on the other hand, was doing a good job of begging everyone else to share their rations. Reiner apparently felt bad for her, and gave her a carrot. That, or he fell for her batting her eyes and clasping her hands, but Bertholdt was practically in his lap and they were wiping crumbs from each other’s mouths, so that didn’t seem likely. Bertholdt seemed to be sharing a lot of his food with Reiner, who had a meager meal despite his large, bulging bag. Well, sometimes people were _too_ good at rationing.

They spent several hours without proceeding onwards for the sake of rest- for the Scouts and the horses- and before sunrise, they were off again. Before noon, seven separate Titans were encountered, and another eight were spotted but avoided. Levi, Hange, and Mikasa all dealt with the Titans efficiently and Jean and Reiner proved useful in assisting their kills.

After that came a general sense of deliriousness throughout the group, especially in the horses, but they continued onwards. Several more Titans were had to be killed, and eventually the sun set again. After the long day, Levi and Hange instructed for camp to be set up at the nearest sheltered area, which turned out to be a broken bit of ground. It was like the earth had been scooped up and scattered elsewhere. The floor was lined with sharp rocks, some brush surrounded the edge, and there was one tree growing up from inside of the land and another from the outside. It wasn’t ideal, but given the circumstance, it was luxury.

“I miss Pa-ool’s,” Krista muttered as she tried to set up a comfortable bed on what must’ve been the softest bit of rock she could find.

“I want double guard shift, eight hours,” Levi said. “Two people at all times. We’re in range of the Titans now, so we have no margin for error.”

“Corporal,” Reiner started. “There-”

“Reiner!” Jean snapped. “No one cares about your _opinion_!”

Connie found that amusing.

“ _Corporal_ ,” Reiner repeated. “Does that mean we’ll be taking shifts?”

He didn’t gesture, but it was pretty clear who the _we_ he was referring to was.

Levi sighed. “Unfortunately, yes. I hope you haven’t gotten lazy, and don’t let it go to your head.”

“I won’t, sir!”

Levi glanced around, quickly evaluating who he thought could go for some more time before they needed a rest, and who would have to shut their eyes before they could be at their best. “Mikasa, Annie, you take the first round. Ymir, you and Armin take next. Reiner, you’re third with me, Krista, you and Donovan are after us. Then…”

“I’ll take Connie after that,” Hange said. “Bertholdt, and… Sasha, you can follow us, Jean, you can… does anyone mind going again?” Reiner and Mikasa both raised their hands. “Mikasa.” They elbowed Levi. “Leaving us to go last. Perfection!”

Krista nodded and fell over into her makeshift bed, already fast asleep. Ymir, unsurprisingly, set up her bed next to her. Levi made his own bed opposite the camp from Hange. Sasha started a fire before going to bed herself. Levi made himself some tea and watched the fire for some time, putting it out when he and Reiner had their own shift. Levi left Reiner on the ground and took the outer tree as his guard post. All was silent.

Krista and Donovan came for their shift. Levi returned to bed. Ymir was sitting up, awake, but everyone else was out cold. Even Annie was snoring. He laid down and after Hange rose for their shift with Connie, Levi surprised himself by blacking out.

Bertholdt woke up to a hand on his shoulder; he was being shaken. He batted the hand away.

“Reiner, I’m tired.”

 

“It’s our shift!”

That was a girl’s voice. He opened his eyes, and saw Sasha.

“Oh,” he said. “Right.”

He sat up, glancing over to his side. Reiner was looking at him. The two locked eyes and Reiner gave a meaningful look towards Sasha before closing his eyes again. Bertholdt rose and followed after her. She was eating Hange’s pellets, and looked miserable.

“Are you alright?”

“I hate these things,” she moaned. “I can’t believe my food is all gone al _ready_. So, you take the tree and I’ll do the ground?”

“Sure,” Bertholdt said. Sasha nodded brightly.

“Hey, Bert, you remember that time Shadis made me run all day because he found out about how I took some food from the kitchens? Do you?”

“Uh,” Bertholdt said, not sure why she was bringing this up. “Which one?”

“Ha! You know, the time right after the first year of training, and we all had a big cook off, but Mikasa pinned it all on me! Wasn’t that great?”

“Yeah,” Bertholdt smiled weakly. “I guess it was.

“That was one of the best nights ever!”

“Even though you had to run the next day?”

“Pssh,” Sasha said. “You shoulda seen the way me and Mikasa were running when she helped me steal the food! I couldn’t have done it without her! And Annie, too! And Mina and Ymir, it was great!”

“All of you?!”

“Yeah! And Shadis was _right_ outside the front, but Krista and Hana were distracting him- we were like ninjas!” Sasha struck a pose, squaring up on the tree before yelling and striking it. She yelped and pulled her hand back, shaking it. “It was the best night ever! Who cares what happened after, right? Right?”

“Right?”

“Right!”

“I think Jean and Marco totally hooked up that night, don’t you?”

“No,” Bertholdt said.

“ _Pssh,”_ Sasha said. “They did. That night was fantasmo.”

“Fantasmo?”

“Eren and Jean didn’t even yell at each other! Everyone was just- you know-”

“Getting along?”

“-Like a family!” Sasha paused, then nodded, her expression shifting a little. “Yeah, getting along.”

“They… were,” Bertholdt nodded. “So, um-”

“But then the next morning Shadis knew the meat was gone, and asked us who did it- you know, he didn’t ask, he just stood in front of me and pretended to- and after a moment he threatened to put us all on cleaning duty and-”

“I was there.”

“-and Mikasa said it was me.” Sasha sighed, visibly deflating. “Then Annie pitched in and said I wasn’t in the dorm all night. They must really hate cleaning.”

“Yeah.”

“Hey, you wanna know a secret?”

“Um-”

“Shadis actually knew the food was gone the night we all took it, he probably knew something was up when Krista and Hana started asking him about his rank. He actually knew we all took it because Thomas or somebody told him later. So the next day he stuck everyone with a hard round of training and left me alone to just do some cleaning.” She sighed again. “I’d have rather been training with everyone else though, you know?”

“Yeah.” There was a moment of silence. “Is there, uh, a reason you’re telling me this?”

“Shadis was a cool guy,” Sasha murmured. “Strict and tight, but… you know…”

“Sahsa,” Bertholdt asked. “Is your throat okay?”

“What?”

“Your voice just changed.”

“Did it? Oh, that’s just, uh, a thing I get sometimes. Were you saying something?”

“I asked why you were talking about that time with the food.”

“Oh, I just remembered it all of a sudden. You know, we were walking over, and it kind of reminded me or when you and me went to go hide the _evidence_. Okay, I guess we better get our guard on! Or else we’ll all die. Ha. Let’s do this!”

Bertholdt nodded and and he went to scale the tree. A moment later, the tree began to shake. He climbed back down.

Sasha was unconscious on the ground and Reiner was leaning against the tree. They both stood in silence, Reiner reaching out to hold his hand, until Annie came to join them.

“Took you long enough,” Reiner said.

She glared at him. “Connie was sitting awake. But once he was out I managed to grab some of _his_ rations too, so we’ll be eating well.”

“Did Sasha see you?” Bertholdt asked. Reiner shook his head.

“No, she was watching you climb the tree. I just hit her from behind.”

“Alright.”

“You need to slow down with the _corporal_ s and the _sir_ s,” Annie went on, as if she’d never stopped speaking. “You’re laying it on much too thick and I don’t think it’s escaped his notice.”

“Hey,” Reiner said. “I’m not _laying it on_. You see the way he cuts down Titans. Man deserves some respect.”

“Whatever.”

“Don’t you whatever me!”

“I’ll whatever you all I want. It’s your fault we’re in this mess.”

“It’s not a _mess_. I choose to think of it as a blessing in disguise. Think about it. We get to the basement, learn everything the other Scouts know, and have equal knowledge. We proceed from there on equal ground.”

Bertholdt couldn’t help but notice the term _other Scouts_.

“Yeah, and next time Bert knocks down a wall, they find him and serve his head on a silver platter.”

Bert laughed nervously.

“That would never happen,” Reiner said quickly. “Besides, they trust us. We’re with them! We don’t _need_ to knock walls over.”

“Does _they_ include Levi? He literally said he didn’t trust you just tonight.”

“I’m pretty sure he says that about everyone.”

“Riight.”

“Look,” Bertholdt said. “I think he’s right, this worked out for us. They’ve practically escorted us to the wall and we’ve only been given a stern warning.”

“Also,” Reiner grinned at Bertholdt appreciatively and squeezed his hand. “We’ve got _another_ golden opportunity.”

Bertholdt started. “We do?”

“Remember when Hange went nuts and Levi made us all scram? He said something that’s kind of stuck with me. He said that they were their own last hope.”

“He said _we_ are _our_ own last hope.”

“I know, but we’re focusing on the _them_ right now. Hell, it was him talking, so let’s just say _he’s_ the last hope, right? And _who_ is humanity’s strongest?”

“Him,” Annie said. “... He is asleep, right?”

“Out cold. Hange, too. So what do you think would happen if the last, strongest, hope went away?”

“I think Mikasa would get promoted.”

“She isn’t Levi,” Reiner snapped. “He’s got experience. Even if she had it, you can't just replace someone like that. He’s our commanding officer, and humanity’s strongest! That’s like- like- If we lost Bertholdt! Think how we'd feel!"

"Um," Bertholdt said. "I'd rather not lose me."

"Me too!" Reiner said. "That's what I'm saying!"

"No one wants to get lost, I get it," Annie said.

"Anyways," Reiner said. "We can't set anything in stone because we haven't reached the damn basement- shit."

"What?" Bertholdt asked. Reiner tore his hand away and covered his mouth.

"Shit, shit _shit_!  We just have to get to the basement!"

"Yeah," Annie said. "That's their plan, too."

"But once we're there- Do you know what the fatality rate for expeditions like this are? Levi said it himself! He wouldn't be surprised if no one came back! Look at all the people who've been wiped out already."

"I don't see where this is going," Bertholdt said, even though he did.

"That reminds me. Annie, was that you with Petra's squad?"

"No," she said. "A horde of Titans really did appear from nowhere. It was pretty incredible, they fought them off for a good few hours before they all got whittled down. Figured there'd be a fuss if I didn't save one person."

"Good thinking."

“I still have Hange’s journal in my pack, by the way. I haven’t been able to hand it off to you yet.”

“You hold onto it,” Reiner said. “You’re less trustworthy.”

"Uh huh. I still can't believe you told them about the Coordinate."

"I had to give her something. And I think I painted us in a pretty positive light."

"Whatever you say. You gonna finish your exclamation about fatalities on expeditions?"

"Yes. We could wipe them all out. The Scouts wouldn't get the info, and we'd have the upper hand. And no one would expect us to come back, either."

"Or they'd think we'd murdered them all."

"Either way, we'd have the upper hand."

"But," Bertholdt's mouth was dry. "We _would_ have murdered them all."

Reiner frowned. "That's a good point."

Bertholdt reached to take his hand again but he lifted it back up to put it under his chin, clearly deep in thought.

"Well," Reiner said. "Either way, let's keep that plan in mind. At least we've got a straight, downhill road."

"I'm going back to bed," Annie said, and left.

Reiner lowered his hand and Bertholdt took it. Reiner turned to grin at him.

"So," he said. "You doing anything right now?"

"I'm supposed to be keeping watch."

"And I can keep you company."

"That might not be the best idea. Sasha's laying right there."

"Fine," Reiner said. He went to kiss Bertholdt, who gave in, and the two stood in their places a moment longer before Bertholdt pulled away. Reiner returned to the camp and Bertholdt bent over. He shook Sasha.

"Sasha? Sasha!"

She sat up, then groaned. "My head, ouch!"

"You must have fallen. That or you fell asleep."

"Dammit!" She gave him a forlorn look.

Bertholdt smiled. "I won't tell."

"Thanks, I owe you! Or... Let's call it even, I guess. Did we have our posts?"

"No."

"Then I'll take the tree!" She hurried off. Bertholdt frowned. Even?

What had ever done for Sasha?

Oh, he realized. It wasn't what he'd done for her. Rather, it was what he'd done to her.

What’d he’d done.


	24. Shigansina: Family

The “fast-approaching” wall was a thin black line on the horizon, but as the day wore on, it grew. Soon it was a thicker line, and then it stood a full inch. Reiner jokingly put out his hand to squeeze the image of the wall between them, but no one laughed. The smudge grew into what looked like a short, squat wall of only a foot.

There came a group of Titans, and they were taken care of.

The wall rose. If all had gone well with positioning they wouldn’t be too far from Shiganshina when they reached Wall Maria. The horses galloped onwards. One stop was made midday to refuel, and more Titans had to be dealt with. By the time the sun set, over twenty had been killed and the small group remained.

Personally, Hange couldn’t help but grow increasingly agitated as the day wore on. There was a reason Wall Maria hadn’t been taken back. No one had ever reached it before, at least not on a full expedition. The higher the sun was, the surer they were that everything was about to go wrong.

They could tell Levi felt the same, even if he was showing it by getting even more sullen. At one point he asked Hange what the matter was, and they let out all of their thoughts on the matter in a gust of speech and air.

“And everyone is going to die any second now and it will be our fault and we’ll die too before we even know it’s our fault and I’ll probably get killed in the mouth so I won’t even know what a Titan looks like from inside and any moment now the they’re going to come or we’ll reach the wall and it will really be a painted tarp and what if every Titan is in Shiganshina and what if the wall falls over what then huh what then and what if a Titan eats Armin? I like Armin! And Jean, too! Or Mikasa or- and what if I drop my glasses _and_ my spare set and I can’t see anything and I _die?_ ”

By the time their monologue had finished- it must have been five minutes, Levi nodded. “Right, well, could you stop shaking? It’s making me dizzy, and you’re wasting your energy.”

After dark, they continued to ride, the wall growing taller and taller with each step. When they reached it, it was like it had always been this tall, and this mighty. It reached into the sky, magnificent to behold. Levi rested his palm against it. It felt cold.

“So,” Jean said after a moment. “Is there like, a gate, or did these guys leave a hole or-”

“We’re not near Shiganshina,” Armin said.

“Oh.”

“It should be due west,” Hange said. “Onwards!”

If the sun had been out, they might have scaled the wall and been done with it for the day, but energy was precious and the horses had to be kept nearby. Twice Reiner offered to make a new gate, which absolutely no one thought was funny.

They do not reach the gate. They did, however, reach the swollen hole left behind years ago. Various angry looks were shot at Reiner and Bertholdt.

Hange had nearly chewed their fingernails down to stubs when they crossed through it. They wasted no time and shouted "Good! Let's make camp, then!" They’re voice cracked, and they flushed.

“Here?” Armin asked, sounding surprised.

“On top of the wall,” Levi said. “ _Right_ , Hange?”

“Yes! Wall. Top. Good.”

“Hange.”

 _“No, I’m fine!”_ They shouted, and shot their gear up onto the wall and rocketed off. Levi sighed and tied up their horses before following them, and the rest of the Scouts did the same.

“Well,” Levi said. “This is new.”

“What?” Reiner said.

“We’ve never made it this far before.”

_“What?”_

“I know!” Hange grinned, their panic subsiding. “Isn’t it fantastic?”

“You’ve never made it to the outer wall? And you took us out here?!”

“Well,” Hange said. “Yeah.”

Levi narrowed his eyes. “You were planning on coming here anyways, _right_?”

“Yeah!” Reiner said. “As _Titans_!”

“I’m going to bed,” Krista said, and moved away from them.

“Yeah, me too,” Bert said.

Reiner swore and went to make his bed as well.

“Guards,” Levi said. “I’ll go-”

“Pssh,” Hange said. “We’re on the wall, we don’t need guards.”

Levi sighed. “Bertholdt, Reiner, please explain to Hange every single reason why wall doesn’t equal _safe._ ”

“Uh-”

“Right,” Hange said. “You’re right. Don’t get too cocky! You, me, Mikasa, and… Ymir, do you want to guard?”

“No.”

“You’ll take first watch,” Levi said.

“What?”

“With Reiner.”

 _“What?_ ”

Levi and Hange finished arranging the guard schedule and then, for the first time in what felt like ages, they went to sleep.

The next evening, the cross through Shiganshina began. Levi was taking Mikasa, Ymir, and Annie onto the ground to lead the horses in the direction of Eren and Mikasa’s home, the rest of the group would be walking the perimeter of the wall, since the neighborhood was close to it. Levi had chosen them to go with him because they were clearly some of the more skilled Scouts or, in Annie’s case, he still didn’t like to leave her in the same space as Reiner and Bertholdt without his supervision. He was beginning to like Annie, though. She was shorter than him.

They walked silently for most of the night. Levi was under the impression that Ymir and Annie were sulking, but they also weren’t exactly a group of talkative people. By the time the moon was getting low, Mikasa was still trying to figure out exactly where they were.

“You said you _lived_ here,” Annie said. “Why can’t you find your way around?”

“Well,” Mikasa said. “For some reason, it’s all _trampled._ Not to mention, I haven’t been here in awhile.”

“My feet are sore,” Ymir said.

“Shut up,” Levi snapped.

“You know-”

_“Hey!”_

They all froze. Levi looked around rapidly, and then saw a dark figure approaching them. He unsheathed his sword, preparing to fight them.

“Hey!” The figure, now clearly a man, pulled up short. “You guys are Scouts!”

“I’m not a Scout,” Annie stated.

“Damn right,” Levi barked at her. “We, with the exception of… her. Are Scouts.” Levi raised an eyebrow. “I’m Corporal Levi.”

“Who?”

“The… I’m humanity’s… nevermind…”

There came a few snorts from next to him, and he wasn’t sure who to glare at first.

The man grinned. He had a thick, brown beard and dark hair, and was dressed in a large jacket. “Well, I’ll be! _Scouts_! It’s about time, huh?”

“Well, yes,” Levi nodded. “It is. But-”

“Who the fuck are you?” Annie asked.

“Manners, Annie,” Mikasa hit her over the shoulder. Annie hit her back. Ymir, who’d been standing between them, took a step back.

“That’s an awful lot of horses,” the man said. “There more of you?”

“Yes,” Annie said.

“Don’t answer him!” Levi shushed her, and Mikasa hit her again. He turned back to the man. “... Yes.”

“Fantastic! They around here? You need dinner?”

“Yes,” Annie repeated.

“I told you not to answer him!”

“Well! Why don’t you call them over here and I’ll go tell the missus?”

“The… missus?” Mikasa looked at Annie in disbelief, and Annie looked at her in fury and rubbed her shoulder.

“Right down the street!” the man said, beginning to back up. “First house this way that isn’t knocked down, you can’t miss it!”

He disappeared back into the night.

“What the fuck,” Ymir said.

“I agree,” Levi frowned, and slipped off his pack. “I suppose I’ll call the rest.”

“I thought we were going to the basement,” Mikasa said.

“This warrants investigation.” He shot a flare into the sky, and the group waited in silence until there was the sound of gear, and everyone else appeared.

“What’s going on?” Hange asked excitedly. “Are we there already?”

“No,” Levi shook his head. “Dinner.”

“Yes!” Sasha cheered.

“It’s down the street, apparently.”

“What?”

“There was a guy,” Annie said.

“With a beard,” Mikasa added.

“He didn’t smell good,” Ymir scowled.

“You don’t smell good either,” Levi said. “No one does. We’ve all been on an expedition and no one’s showered.”

“ _You_ smell good,” Hange said, frowning. “Come to think of it, you always smell good. Have you been sneaking off to bathe?”

“What the- no, I- never _mind_ , what’s important is there’s people here, and we’re eating dinner with them.”

“Levi’s right!” Sasha grinned. “Dinner! That way?”

“Yes. I give up.”

“Let’s go!” Sasha skipped off down the street, and the group followed her. She reached the first standing house at a remarkable speed, considering it was _really_ down the street, and headed onto the porch to knock on the door. She put her hands behind her back and straightened her posture, suddenly looking very official, and the door opened. Levi squinted and saw a woman had answered.

“Christ,” he said. “That’s the missus. _That’s the missus_.”

“You know,” Hange said. “I don’t think I’ll ever really understand you?”

Sasha stuck out her hand. “Hello! My name is Sasha Braus. I’m with the Survey Corps! Hello!”

The woman looked her up and down before taking her hand, and Levi swore she bounced up and down as Sasha shook it. “It really is a pleasure to meet you! This is the rest of the expedition!” She gestured to the rest of them. “They’ve informed me we’re having dinner with you! I can’t wait!”

The woman nodded, a smile rising onto her face. She smoothed out her apron. “Yes, Clyde told me! I hope we’ve made enough! Please, come inside!”

Sasha grinned and gestured that everyone should follow her inside. Levi frowned, but did so, taking the rest along with him.

“Oh my god,” Connie whispered, the moment they’d stepped inside. “It smells _amazing_ in here.”

“Is there anything I can do to help?” Sasha asked.

“Oh, no, everything’s done! I’m just going to start plating it up-”

“Great, where are your plates?”

“Such a nice girl!” The woman smiled, before turning to the Scouts. “You all sit down. We don’t have a table,” she said apologetically. “But the floor’s very clean!”

“I noticed,” Levi said, kneeling on the floor. “And I approve. Good work.”

“Thank you!” She beamed, and filled up a plate. “Here, dear, will you hand these out?”

“Sure!” Sasha went around the room, setting some of the plates of food down in front of everyone else.

“Clyde!” the woman called. “Anaka! Our guests are here!”

The man Levi had seen earlier emerged from a door at the end of the room, followed by a dark haired young woman. They also sat down. Sasha served them plates as well before she took her own seat. It struck Levi that the two women and the man, while seeming healthy, did look a little underfed. Though that wasn’t surprising.

“I’m Beth,” the woman introduced herself. “And this is Clyde and Anaka. Clyde, did you put Chaddie to bed?”

“Of course,” he said, and flashed a grin at everyone else. “Howdy, Scouts! Welcome to our home!”

“Hello,” Hange said.

“Thank you for having us!” Sasha said, and immediately started wolfing down the food on her plate. Levi glanced down. It looked like some sort of preserve on a slice of bread, next to what he only recognized as cooked plants, and a small helping of scrambled eggs.

“It isn’t much,” Beth told them. “I didn’t know you were coming and had to throw something together. I do hope you like it!”

“Thish ish amashing,” Sasha said, covering her mouth to keep food from spilling out. Beth’s smile grew.

Levi lifted his plate and had some of his food. It was a nice change from Hange’s stupid pellets. He tried some of the eggs. They were delicious. He suddenly realized that he was starving, and followed Sasha’s lead.

“So, what brings you out here?” Clyde asked.

“We’re on an expedition,” Hange answered.

“Really? Doing what?”

Hange swallowed loudly. “Uh… we’re investigating the, um, appearance of the Colossal Titan.”

“Well, it’s about time!” Clyde said, jokingly. “What took you so long?”

“We’ve had… stuff happen,” Hange shrugged. “But then, you know, he showed up again at Trost, so um… it was really time to start cracking on that guy! Ha. heh.”

“What? Did you lose Trost?!”

“Oh, no, no! I mean, we almost did, and there was a high casualty rate-”

“Very high,” Jean pitched it. “Extremely high.”

“But we managed to, uh, shove a boulder in the hole, and-”

“What?”

“Nevermind,” Hange said. “It’s complicated. There were Titans.”

“Right,” Clyde said. “And… how’s your expedition going so far?”

“Oh, fantastic,” Jean said. “We’ve been almost completely wiped out, but we know _loads_ about the Colossal Titan now!”

“Well, that’s good! I certainly hope he gets his just desserts!”

Bertholdt shoved his entire slice of bread into his mouth and swallowed it whole, wiping his mouth quickly.

“And what did you say your names were?” Beth asked, probably sensing his discomfort.

“Oh,” Bertholdt said. “I’m Bertholdt.”

“Reiner.”

“Ymir.”

“I’m Krista!”

“My name’s Connie.”

Sasha swallowed loudly. “’M Sasha.”

“Hange” Hange said. “And this is Corporal Levi.”

“Hey.”

“My name’s Armin, and this is Mikasa.” Mikasa nodded.

“I’m Annie.”

“I’m Donovan,” Donovan said. Levi had forgotten about Donovan. “But, you can call me Donnie-”

“Van,” Jean said. “You can call him Van.”

“Actually, I prefer-”

“How long have you lived out here?” Hange asked Clyde.

“My whole life!” He threw his arm around his wife. “Beth and me have known each other since we were kids, right sweetie?”

She giggled. Levi glared at them.

“So…” Hange frowned. “When the wall broke down, you didn’t… evacuate?”

“Oh, we tried but you know how it is. Once the Titans got through Maria, we figured we were done for and hunkered down!”

 _“Hunkered?”_ Levi whispered to Hange. They shushed him.

“And you’ve survived since then?” Jean asked, looking impressed.

“As best we can. Anaka’s older brother passed a few years ago. We’ve always talked about trying to make it to Wall Rose, but it’s always seemed… well, impossible.”

“We used to feel that way about Wall Maria!” Hange beamed. “I can’t believe we’re actually here!”

Clyde laughed. “Imagine how we feel! We haven’t seen anyone in years! Right, Anaka?”

“Hmph,” Anaka said, and scowled at Levi and Hange. He started. What the hell had they done to her?

Beth clasped her hands together. “Goodness, you must’ve been famished!”

“We’ve been living off pellets,” Levi said, and shot Hange a look.

“Well, I see you’re finishing up your dinner! Do you want to stay the day? We have a few extra rooms!”

“Will that be safe?” Levi frowned.

“We’ve made it this long!” Clyde smiled. “The trick is blocking off the windows. If you shut yourself inside and stay quiet all day, you’ll make it through. I hope none of you are snorers!”

“Hm,” Levi said.

Hange nudged him. “Given the circumstances, maybe staying the day _would_ be a good idea.”

“We’ll stay.”

Beth stood up, dusting off her apron. “Well then! Why don’t I take you to some of our rooms? We have a spare, a basement, and an attic! So if you split up into three groups-”

“Hange, you take the attic with me, and you three.”

He looked over at Bertholdt and Reiner, but it was clear Annie was included in this group of three.

“I… guess the rest of us can split into boys and girls, then?” Armin suggested.

“Here,” Beth said. “Our rooms are right this-”

“I have a question for you.”

Beth’s eyebrows rose and she turned to look at Mikasa, who had stayed silent most of the meal.

“Shoot,” Clyde said.

“Did you by any chance know a man named Grisha Jeager?”

Armin looked up in surprise. Clyde furrowed his brow.

“Wasn’t he the one with the bakery?”

“No dear,” Beth said. “That was _Gilligan,_ Gilligan Giles. Grisha was the doctor. You remember!”

“Yes,” Mikasa nodded. “That would be him.”

“Well!” Clyde slapped his knee. “Of course I knew Grisha! I’d be damned if I forgot good old Grisha! What was it his wife was named again? Carrie?”

“Carla.”

“Grisha and Carla! And their son, Eren, wasn’t it? Anaka, do you remember Eren?”

“No.”

“Come on now, you-” Beth gasped and looked over at Mikasa and Armin. “Why, you’re Marina’s little boy! And that would make you _Mikasa_!”

“She just said she was named Mikasa a few minutes ago,” Levi said.

“Bless my soul! Anaka, can you believe this!”

“No.”

“Armin, do you remember Anaka?”

“Uh,” Armin gave them a sheepish look. “I actually don’t… sorry.”

“Your parents must’ve brought you over a thousand times when you were small!”

“Begging your pardon,” Levi said. “But we really do need to get to sleep.”

“Oh, of course! We don’t have any blankets, but-”

“We have bedding.”

“Oh, good! Well, then, you all come with me. Clyde, will you clean up? Oh, now, wait.” Beth looked at Armin and Mikasa, both in the process of standing up and frowned. “Someone’s missing! Where’s Eren, hmm? Wasn’t he always going on about joining the Scouts?”

Mikasa and Armin exchanged a look.

“Eren is dead,” Levi said.

“Oh,” Beth said, her smile faltering. “Well then. He… He was a good boy, Eren. Your rooms are right down this hall.”

The group rose and followed her down the hallway. “The basements right through that door, and this is one of our spare rooms.” She headed inside, and looked up at a door in the ceiling. “Goodness, I can’t reach it!” She turned and scanned the group, eyes landing on Bertholdt. “Ah! Sweetie, could you-”

“Oh,” he nodded. “Sure.” He crossed over and pulled the trapdoor down, and a ladder unfolded.

“There we go! Now, you head up on up there, it may be a little dusty. Now, you all settle in, I’ll let you know when it’s breakfast time!”

Levi headed up the ladder first, followed by Bertholdt, Reiner, Annie, and then Hange. Without saying anything, the younger three went to make their beds. Hange and Levi made their own, but Hange stopped him before he could finish.

“I have a bad feeling about all this.”

“Hange, have you ever considered telling me things like that _before_ we agree to things?”

“I didn’t want to be rude, after they gave us food and knew Armin and everything. But I can’t help feeling on edge-”

“You’ve been on edge all day! Look, I’m not exactly comfortable either, but these people have been living here since _he_ knocked the wall down!”

“I said I was sorry.”

“This could be something _actually_ working out for us. So we should just enjoy a full night’s sleep before we have to turn back around and stay away for another two days in a row!”

“You telling _me_ to relax?” Hange snorted. “There’s the first thing that’s off about this place.”

“ _Hange._ ”

“Other than all the Titans!” Reiner said matter-of-factly.

“ _Reiner_.”

“He’s right,” Annie said, laying down. “Let’s just go bed already.”

“Fine,” Hange laid down as well.

Levi laid awake for an hour, before he finally drifted off.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ft. that one OC you had a backstory for once and who kind of has a role, but isn't actually a character. If you're curious about Donovan, ask me and I'll tell you his elaborate life story. If you don't care abut Donovan... Eh, neither do I.


	25. Armin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I recall correctly, this isn't the only one in this fic I've named Clyde!

Levi wasn’t sure what it was that caused the dream, perhaps he’d been getting less rest than usual, but after an indeterminable amount of time, he was in a field of flowers. He was sitting on green grass, legs crossed, and he could hear music.

He opened his eyes, stretching his hands over his head, and felt exhausted. His eyelids threatened to fall back down, and he let them close once more. He could hear music, and he listened. After some time of letting the note wash over him, he realized there was a strange echo to it; there was no wind to blow it away, and walls kept the sound in.

He was underground.

He opened his eyes, suddenly feeling rested, if still a little drowsy and his tired eyes made out a red haired figure, blurred by sleep. He rubbed his eyes and his vision cleared, and he smiled.

Isabel was playing her flute.

Smile growing, he leaned back against the cavern wall and closed his eyes once more. The music skidded to a stop, and there were ragged breaths and footsteps.

“Canned fish,” came Farlan’s. “Two for each of you!”

“Seriously?” Levi looked up. Isabel had dropped her flute to the ground, and scrambled to take two of the cans. “Levi! _He’s not kidding_!”

“That’s not all,” Farlan brought a bottle out from inside his coat, grinning mischievously.

“Are you going to tell us what that is?” Levi asked.

Farlan had a swig. “Come taste it and find out!”

Levi sighed and stood up, his bones creaking, and Isabel snatched the bottle and drank some, laughing. She pulled a face, but had more.

“You shouldn’t be drinking that.”

“I’m old enough!”

“If _that_ face is your reaction, no, you’re not old enough.” Levi took the bottle and had some, and his chest burnt. “God, is this _bourbon_?”

Farlan grinned.

Isabel grabbed the bottle back and had some more, and Levi reached for it back. She fell over, cackling, and then frowned.

“Oh! Where’d it go?” She stood up, feeling around, and then lifted up what looked like a stick, grinning. “Levi-bro! I made this for you!”

“What?”

She pressed it into his hands, smiling.

“What’s this?”

“Whaa? _Rude._ It’s a _flute_ , dumbass!”

He turned it over, finding the holes in the rough wood, and looked up at her.

“Since you like it when I play mine, I thought, you know!”

“Thank you.”

“Yeah, sure! It’s kind of crap. I don’t think it’ll work.”

“Thank you.”

“Sure!”

Levi opened his mouth to say something more.

There was a shout.

He blinked.

Then came the scream.

-

Armin felt his shoulder being shaken, and opened his eyes.

“Clyde?”

The man shushed him, then grabbed him by his hand to pull him up. It occurred to Armin how sore he was.

“Is something wrong?”

“I need to show you something,” he whispered. “Come on.” Armin stood up, reaching for his cloak, but Clyde moved quickly. “Come on, I said. Hurry.”

“What do you want to show me?” Armin buckled on his gear. Clyde did not answer. “There, now I’m ready.” He followed him out, Clyde moving at a brisk pace, and Armin hurrying to keep pace with him. “Where are we going?”

Clyde grunted and reached the front door, opening it and peering out before dragging Armin out as well. “Should we really be out here?”

“You talk too much,” Clyde muttered, and pulled him out. It was misty out, and Armin didn’t see any Titans around, so he supposed it was safe. It looked to be the early evening. Clyde shook his head. “Just like your parents. Apple doesn’t fall far.”

“My parents?” Armin’s heart quickened. “Do you have to show me something that has to do with them?” Clyde kept walking, but Armin was sure he was walking in a way that meant yes. He followed him. They were headed towards the wall, Armin realized. A staircase appeared, the one Garrison had used, and Clyde headed up it.

“You blocked up the hole,” he noticed. Clyde shrugged.

“Partially. We can’t get it to hold because Titans keep running into it, and walking through, the like.”

“What is it you need to show me?” The staircase was steeper than it looked. Armin felt out of breath.

“You’ll see.”

Armin searched for something to say. “Your son, he was Leopold, right? Leo?”

“... Yes.”

“I remember Leopold.”

“Yes, I’m sure you do,” he said curtly. Armin hadn’t been planning on mentioning he knew Leopold because of the countless times he’d been beaten senseless by him. But apparently, Clyde already knew.

“I’m sorry,” Armin said sincerely. “When did-”

“Shh,” Clyde shushed him one more. “Dangerous area.”

“Right.” They finally reached the top of the wall, and it occurred to Armin that this was the closest he’d ever been to being away of them completely. He looked out at the world.

It was so big. Grass, and trees, going on as far as he can see. No homes or towns, only the green, stretching over the horizon. _The horizon._ The sky reached down to to touch it. It was so huge, so vast.

“Wow,” Armin said, voice hushed. He looked over at Clyde. “... Thank you, sir.”

“Here,” Clyde said, then looked up at him.

“Huh?”

“Come over here.”

“Sure,” Armin started over, and Clyde wrenched him forward. Armin tripped, heart leaping as he nearly fell, and then he righted himself. Clyde dragged him along the length of the wall, far past the old hole, and the gates, and then he stopped so suddenly Armin almost ran into him.

“When Leopold died, they took him.”

Armin looked down and saw them. The Titans. He frowned.

_Why are they trying to get in here? It’s ages from the gate, and the old hole. Why are they…_

Clyde’s hand was still digging into his wrist, his fingers sharp and bony.

“He died of the influenza,” he went on. “And we brought him up here. And now, they’re over here.”

He looked at Armin, and he understood, he tried to pull his hand back, but Clyde’s hand was a vice.

“Let go of me, sir.”

Clyde didn’t speak.

Armin’s voice spiralled upwards, shrill. “Let go of me!” He pulled his hand back and Clyde pulled him forward, forcing Armin off the edge. His feet scrambled to find a grip. “Let go! Please! Let go of me!”

He slid off the wall.

It was at this point that Armin began to beg for his life.


	26. Missing

Levi sat up sharply.

“Did you hear that? Hange? Hange, did you hear that? _Hange_?”

He fumbled for his bag and pulled out a box of matches, lighting one, and then found the candle he’d brought.

A tired groan came from across the room. “Corporal?”

Levi lit the candle and looked over. Hange was gone. His gaze turned to Reiner, whose expression shifted as if he’d seen a ghost. To be fair, Levi was frightening on a good day, and right now it was pitch black in the attic and his face was shadowed by candlelight.

“Did you hear that?” he asked. His voice was low.

“What?”

“I asked if you heard that?”

“Heard what?”

The shout came again and Bertholdt jerked up, looking around.

“Get your gear on,” Levi said. “We’re treating this as an emergency situation.” He held the candle tightly and wax dripped down onto his hand. He ignored it and made for the trapdoor, feeling around on the dark floor and almost falling through when he found it open. “What the fuck?”

“I can’t fucking _see_ ,” Annie said.

“Then light your fucking candle!” Levi snapped.

“I didn’t bring one.”

“Then that’s your own damn fault.” He squinted, trying to see the ladder. “Follow me.” He started down the ladder, holding onto it with one hand and dragging his feet along the sides so he wouldn’t collide with the ground. There was shuffling as the others joined him, and several of the girls asleep in the room started to wake up.

“What’s going on?” Sasha yawned, pushing hair out of her eyes.

“Emergency protocol,” Levi said. “We heard shouts and a scream.”

“ _You_ heard,” Annie also yawned. “How do you know you weren’t dreaming?”

“Reiner heard it too!”

“Because he’s reliable?”

“I heard it,” Mikasa said. She was already dressed and had her gear on.

“Mikasa,” Levi said. “Run down to the basement and get everyone up here, stat. We’re doing a headcount, all of you, assemble by the basement and wait for them, I-”

There were loud noises from down the hall.

“I’m investigating that,” he said. “Don’t do anything I didn’t tell you too unless you’re threatened or there’s a Titan.” He spun on his heel and raced down the hallway, tracking the sounds to the kitchen. He paused at the door, listening, before flinging it open.

Hange had Anaka in a headlock.

“Hange?”

They dropped Anaka. “She attacked me!”

Anaka grabbed something off the counter and swung it over her head, and Hange ducked just in time before grabbing them again. Levi drew his sword and Hange dropped Anaka.

“You can’t draw a sword on her, she’s a civilian!”

Anaka yanked open a drawer and grabbed a knife.

_“Hange!”_

Anaka stabbed Hange from behind. Hange shrieked and spun around, snatching Levi’s sword.

“Hey! Mine!”

_“Borrowing!”_

They hit Anaka over the head with the hilt and she collapsed. Levi stalked over and yanked the sword back.

“You didn’t _ask_!”

“Jesus, _sorry_ , I was in a hurry!”

“Use your manners!”

“I was being attacked! God, you’re rude!”

“Whatever, take your shirt off.”

“ _What?”_ Hange wrapped their hands over their chest. “Excuse me?” They flushed. “Listen, buddy. I do like you a lot and I have no objection to, um, things, but right now is kinda-”

“Hange!” Levi interrupted. “You were just _stabbed_! Turn around and take your shirt off! Do you _want_ to bleed to death?”

“Oh!” Hange’s went red. “ _Ohhh._ ”

“What did you- _god!”_

“Sorry!”

_“Hange!”_

“I kind of, you know, _assumed_ -”

“Why would I- god. _God_! That’s foul!”

“Oh,” Hange raised an eyebrow. “Are you saying I’m foul?”

“A little bit, yes!” Levi stuck his sword back in it’s hilt. “Nevermind, I don’t have time for this!”

“Well maybe _you’re_ foul too, you- you- you pottymouthed germaphobic midget!”

“What? I- Fuck this! Just take your damn shirt off so I can bandage you!”

Hange sighed and pulled it off over their head. “Well,” they muttered, tossing it to him and turning around. “Since you asked so _nicely_.” They paused. “Sorry,” they added in a tense voice.

Levi started to make a bitter retort, then stopped. That was certainly a stab. He tore off the sleeve of their shirt. _Goodbye, sleeve._

“Hey! Are you- I’m not sorry at all! That’s is my best shirt!”

“Yeah, well, this is your best body, and, it just so happens, _your only one_ , so shut up and tell me what happened while I keep you from dying, okay?”

“Oh, _you’d_ say my body’s the best, Shorty.”

“I will gag you.”

“Sorry! Guess you do need to relax after all. Well, I heard sounds and went to investigate, being my intrepid self, and Anaka was trying to open up the trapdoor. All the girls slept through it. I asked her what she needed and she told me she wanted to talk to me, and I followed her into the kitchen, and then she tried to strangle me from behind!”

“Did she say anything?”

“Hell yeah she did. She started to go on and on about how she heard of me before _that day_ and people said I was a lunatic- am I a lunatic, Levi?”

“Course.”

“Right, but it’s good, right? I’m not like a sociopath, or-”

“You tried to strangle me awhile back.”

“But I’m cool, right? You like me?”

“Sure.”

“Thanks, that’s _so_ reassuring,” Hange spat. “Anyways, she was saying kids who were into the Scouts and all that talked about me and Erwin and stuff like that, and how they thought as long as the Scouts were protecting them they’d be safe. And then she started crying and asking where we were and I tried to help her and then she said she said something to show me, and then she tried to kill me!”

“Did she tell you why?” Levi bit his tongue in concentration, focusing on bandaging her.

“Yeah, she did.”

“And?”

 _“And.”_ Hange started rocking back and forth on their heels, bouncing a little.

“Stop that!”

“Sorry. Well, she said her parents were starving and they wasted all her food on us, and she would... feed them.”

“Jesus. So she-”

“Wanted to eat me, yeah.”

“Interesting.”

“They’re _cannibals!_ Real life cannibals! I _knew_ they were around, somewhere!”

“Great, more Titan names.”

“Yeah!”

“You are much too excited about this.” He tossed the bundle of fabric to them. “Here’s what’s left. Let’s go check in with the Scouts.”

He found them in a line outside the basement. Mikasa turned and saluted. “I’ve just gotten them in a line, sir.”

“Right.” He counted. “Twelve. I see twelve.”

“Someone’s missing,” Hange said. “Let’s see, there’s Mikasa, Annie-”

“It’s Armin,” Mikasa realized, the color draining from her face.

“Armin’s missing!” Bertholdt repeated, also paling.

“Shit.” Levi said. “Shit. Hange, was it you who screamed?”

“Someone screamed?”

 _“Shit,_ ” Levi said once more. “Hange, with me. Er…” he scanned the line. “Ymir, Sasha, come with us. We’ll check for Armin. Mikasa’s in charge.”

“Why is she always in charge?” Jean asked.

“Oh, you’re right, excuse me, _Jean,_ do _you_ want to be in charge?” He opened his mouth to say something, and Levi lifted a hand. “I wasn’t offering! Mikasa, in charge!” He stormed out, followed by Hange, and he scanned the abandoned buildings. It was dead outside. There weren’t any life forms inside. Levi looked around, and then heard heavy breathing.

Like before, Clyde seemed to come from nowhere, at a jog. He brushed by them and Levi frowned.

Odd.

Their routine sweep of the town revealed nothing. Only two Titans were spotted, and easily avoided, and there was no response when Armin’s name was called. They ran along the length of the walls, and did a second search.

Levi, Hange, Sasha, and Ymir returned empty-handed. Armin Artlert had disappeared.


	27. Basement

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> u know it

Levi tightened his cloak around him.

“You cold?” Hange asked.

“Nope,” Levi lied. Hange took off their cloak and tossed it onto him. Levi lifted his arms to pull it off. “Hey!”

“Please, don’t freeze to death. It’d be horrible.”

“Hmmph,” Levi said, and tied her cloak around him. “Fine, I’ll take your dumb coat.”

“That’d be so stupid,” Hange went on. “I go back. Erwin asks what happened. Oh, Petra got horribly murdered by wolves, Nanaba was eaten by a Titan, and Levi wouldn’t borrow my coat and froze.”

“Jesus, I put it on, Hange.”

“His fingers fell off, and he reached out to me saying, I can’t make it, Hange, go on without me. And I said, Levi, I can’t, and he said, you always could, and then he started crying about his duster. So tragic.”

“Yes,” Levi said loudly. “I won’t miss Hange at all. They wouldn’t shut up, and stopped breathing. Alack.”

Hange laughed and ruffled his hair, and Levi scowled.

“Hey,” Mikasa said quietly.

Hange looked up and their face went slack. They were standing in front of the ruins of a house. It had been flattened; the roof was bent down and rubble was scattered around it. Large boulders rested nearby.

“Shit,” Jean said. “That’s… that got damaged.”

“Yeah,” Mikasa said.

“How’d it get like that?” Reiner asked.

Mikasa gave him an _are-you-kidding-look_ and turned to him and Bertholdt. “You literally could not have aimed for it more.”

“Oh.”

“A huge piece of wall landed on it.”

“Sorry.”

“Well,” Levi said, after a moment of silence. “Anyone up for going inside, then?”

It was dark out.

“You know,” Connie said. “Maybe I’ll just… wait out here. You know, keep guard.”

“Uh huh,” Sasha nodded. “We need guards.”

“It’s just my basement,” Mikasa said.

“Right.”

“Okay,” Levi said, and glanced over at Reiner, Bertholdt, and Annie. “Pick one of you to stay behind.”

“Seriously?”

Levi gave Reiner a look, and he sighed. After a brief moment of discussion, Bertholdt decided to wait, and Reiner and Annie joined Mikasa, Hange, Levi, Donovan, Krista, Ymir, and Jean in the descent into the basement.

Mikasa entered the house through the remains of the front door. She was moving slowly, as if in a daze, and walked through the floor. She left footprints in the dust and her feet crunched over the stones.

She did not lead them to the basement. She walked into the kitchen, opened a trapdoor, and pulled out a pile of sticks.

“Uh,” Jean said. “What are those?”

Mikasa snapped one of them in two. It broke easily.

“I’m sorry,” Mikasa said. “I wanted to see. It’s this way.”

She led them to a part of the house that was thoroughly covered by roof.

“Oh, great,” Jean said. “You guys ruined it all with your wall-kicking thing.”

“You know what,” Reiner said. “Maybe we didn’t fucking know there was a magic basement, okay?”

Jean made a face and Reiner looked ready to fight him. Annie got down on her knees and started to move away the mess. Mikasa knelt to help her. Jean rolled his eyes and got down as well.

“Hey, Levi, wanna help?” Hange asked.

“Not really, no.”

“Jesus christ,” Reiner muttered. “You know, we should probably call in everyone else in to help us.”

“No,” Levi said. “In fact, I think _you_ could probably manage on your own.”

After under an hour, the worst of the rubble had been cleared away, revealing a square in the floor. Mikasa reached into her cloak and pulled out the key. There was a thick padlock on the door, and she inserted it. She wiggled it around, then pulled it out.

“Does anyone have a little… stick or something? There’s a rock in there.”

“Fuck,” Levi said.

“We could cut the lock off,” Reiner suggested.

“That could never work,” Levi said. “Here.” He pulled out his knife and leaned over, prodding at the inside of the lock, before moving back. Mikasa put the key back in and this time, it turned with as much ease as could be expected. Mikasa took the old lock in her hands and pulled for a moment before it snapped open. She exhaled loudly, dug her fingers under the door, and lifted. She stared down into a dark stairway, then stood.

“Let’s go.” She started down. Levi went next, followed by Annie, then Jean, and then Reiner, who hit his head on the door. “Mind that,” Mikasa said. Annie sniggered. Ymir and Donovan entered next, and then Hange.

Mikasa reached a door at the end of the staircase. It was not locked.

What hit her first was darkness; there had been some meager light in the staircase, but here, it was pitch black. She took off her pack, found her matches and candle, and lit it. That did next to nothing to illuminate the space, but she saw papers scattered on the floor, and the beginning of a table in front of her. She turned, saw a torch on the wall, and went to light it before snuffing out her candle. She went around to light the other torches and in a moment, the basement was lit.

It was a wreck.

The floor was nearly covered in papers, and there was a dank smell in the moist air. Some of the walls had molded.

“Start searching,” Levi said. “Anything could be anywhere.”

Mikasa frowned. “No,” she said. “This isn’t right.”

“How is it not right?”

“He came back,” she realized. “He came back! After the wall went down, he came back for it!”

“That’s impossible,” Reiner said.

“No…” she said. “If anyone could have done it, it would have been him. And he’d have kept whatever was important-” she moved across the room, then frowned, and turned back around, still clutching her torch. There was a chest next to the door, and the lid was hanging open. The inside was completely empty.

“Fuck,” Hange said. “We’re too late?”

“No,” Mikasa said. “He fell right off the face of the earth after this. He wouldn’t have risked losing everything so he wouldn’t have taken it with him. He would have copied things, too.”

“Hey,” Reiner started over to a table opposite them. It had beakers and vials set up, all containing a pale liquid. “Anyone dare me to drink this?”

“Reiner, please move away from the table,” Levi said. “Mikasa, where would any back ups be?”

“I don’t know,” she said. She lifted her torch and looked around again. “Could someone gather up the papers?”

“Reiner.”

Reiner sighed. “You know what, fine.”

Jean laughed.

“Jean,” Levi said. “That’s so sweet of you, volunteering to help. You may.”

Jean glared at him and started to collect the papers alongside Reiner. Mikasa headed across the room, to a desk, and opened it.

“Here,” she said, and opened it. “Grisha Jaeger. There’s no date.” She pulled out a piece of paper, and began to read.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i beat isayama to the punch lmao ayy  
> alternate grisha backstory/possibly edited to be more canon will be up soon


	28. Grisha

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> reason #25 for hating myself: i have this fic, right here, that people like, and I've written the entire thing, I just don't ever fudging update it. I hope you haven't completely given up on me.

_FOR EREN_

_This is my final will and testament._

_I, Grisha Jaeger, being of sound mind and soul, have returned to Shiganshina to finish what I have started. If you are reading this, that that means I am certainly dead, and I can only hope my work is complete._

_I am sorry I was not there for you, and that I was not able to explain things. I hope this will help you begin to make sense of it all. I thank God you are reading this now. May you find peace._

_Sincerely, your father._

* * *

 

_1-7-865_

_I have begun to work on recreating the formula again. I have not successfully been able to engineer an original version._

* * *

 

_1-9-865_

_I have created a basic draft for Armored. Failure._

* * *

 

_2-17-865_

_I have created a complex draft for Armored. Failure._

* * *

 

_3-3-865_

_I have created, for the first time, a Female Titan draft, but this alone is not enough. Failure._

* * *

 

_4-22-865_

_Whatever this is, it’s not even liquid._

* * *

 

_10-3-865_

_No success this year. Carla is expecting. With luck, all things will work out._

* * *

 

_3-30-866_

_Carla has given birth. A beautiful baby boy. Named him Eren._

* * *

 

_4-22-866_

_Went to Ackerman house. Daughter, Mikasa, has been born, and came out easily. I really must bring Eren over when he’s older._

* * *

 

_6-14-866_

_Arlert’s have child. Mother is weak, but will be fine. They named their son Armin. Bring medicine by later; he hasn’t been out of the womb a day and he already has a cold._

* * *

 

_10-3-835_

_Eren crawled today._

* * *

 

_12-12-835_

_Went to Ackerman house. Mother had been attacked in streets. Will be fine. I really must bring Eren over._

* * *

 

_2-13-836_

_First Maria job this year. A man had a chest cold, and overreacted._

* * *

 

_3-25-836_

_Gave the Titan draft another shot. Failure._

* * *

 

_3-30-836_

_Eren’s birthday. Gave him a box. Carla debated, but Eren likes the box._

* * *

 

_4-1-836_

_Eren walked. Fell over three times._

* * *

 

_1-5-837_

_Eren spoke. “Mom,” followed by “Dad.” I know I must continue my work. I will not tell him for a long time._

* * *

 

_6-6-837_

_Failure_

* * *

 

_7-10-837_

_Failure_

* * *

 

_10-2-837_

_Failure_

* * *

 

_12-29-837_

_Spinal fluids?_

* * *

 

_2-20-839_

_BREAKTHROUGH_

* * *

 

_3-13-839_

_nevermind_

* * *

 

_3-30-839_

_Carla baked Eren honey cakes. Arlerts over. Gave Eren a bigger box. He said “thank.”_

* * *

 

_5-15-343_

_The solid matter, it turns out, could plausibly be ingested and have an effect, but it is like a rock. Am working on liquefying it._

* * *

 

_5-22-343_

_Eren came home with a black eye. Said, “you should see the other guy.” I did. He was fine._

* * *

 

_6-2-343_

_Eren had definitely been picking fights. Carla is distraught and asked me to intervene._

* * *

 

_6-13-343_

_The Arlerts brought over a pie to show their “gratitude.” Spoke to Eren. Says Armin has trouble with some local boys._

* * *

 

_7-19-343_

_Eren over at Armin’s. Carla asked about explosions. Told her I was mixing something and the fire got out of hand._

* * *

 

_8-2-343_

_I’ve liquified it. I can’t be certain it works and I’m not willing to test it out, but I think I have successfully recreated the formula._

* * *

 

_9-27-343_

_First time over at Ackerman’s this season. Daughter had chest cold. She’s a charming girl. I really must bring Eren by._

* * *

 

_11-7-343_

_I’ve verified it. Spinal fluids=necessary, liquid should definitely work. I pray I never have to use it on Eren or Carla, or anyone else._

* * *

 

_12-17-343_

_Now that it’s complete, I owe it to Eren and Carla to tell them. Soon._

* * *

 

_1-12-344_

_Message from Ackermans requesting a check-up, will bring Eren this time._

* * *

 

_1-14-344_

_The Ackermans have been killed. They were dead upon entering the house, and Mikasa was gone. Eren deliberately disobeyed me, and the Police found him in a cabin with Mikasa, and three dead men. He won’t say what’s happened, but has strongly implied that he killed them. Mikasa has moved in with us._

* * *

 

_2-22-344_

_I can’t help but notice that Mikasa has taken to wearing Eren’s scarf._

* * *

 

_3-12-344_

_Mikasa says Eren got in a fight. I saw it from inside the house. She scared the bullies off._

* * *

 

_Eren Carla and Mikasa are missing_

* * *

 

_Carla is dead_

* * *

 

_It’s complete. i’m going to give it to eren with luck it should work i don’t have time to tell him with luck he will come here one day his ability should allow that_

* * *

 

Mikasa’s voice was worn from reading the entry. She flipped to the last page and handed it to Hange. “He made several notes here,” she said hoarsely. “There’s more.”

“I didn’t know your parents were dead,” Ymir said.

“Or that Eren killed three guys,” Jean added.

“Two,” Mikasa corrected.

“ _You_ killed a guy?!”

“You sound surprised,” Annie said.

“Reiner, Annie,” Hange said. “I need all your information on Titan shifting. Anything you haven’t told us. It’s a big deal, so Levi won’t yell at you.”

“I think if a Titan eats a Shifter, they get their ability,” Annie said. Reiner looked over at her.

“So, they become a human who can shift into a Titan?”

“Yep,” Reiner nodded.

“I thought as much. And lemme guess, they have to ingest spinal fluid?”

“I dunno.”

“Grisha made some notes in the back of this. It looks like his master plan was to use the injection or liquid or whatever he made on Eren. My guess is that turned him into a Titan, and Eren… ate him, basically.”

“That’s fucked up,” Jean said.

“Yeah,” Levi said.

“He made notes in here to him,” Hange went on. “From the looks of things, Grisha Jeager was your Coordinate, and then Eren.”

“I knew it!” Reiner pumped his fist into the air, earning him several annoyed looks, and he brought it back down. Krista crossed over to examine the liquid, followed by Ymir.

“Would this be it?”

“I guess so,” Mikasa frowned. How _long_ had this been in their basement? How had it survived.

Ymir nudged Krista and gave her a look. Mikasa wondered what was going on with them.

“Not now.” Krista gave Ymir a look back, and she fell silent. Weird.

“Reiner,” Levi said. “Are those papers in order?”

“No,” Reiner said. “But they’re in a pile.”

“We can go over them later in better light.”

“Waitwaitwait!” Hange pulled out their water rations, and poured them on the floor.

“That’s my floor,” Mikasa said blankly.

“Sorry,” Hange raced over to the shimmering liquid and filled her rations with it. “Um, no one drink this.”

“Can we go before it’s broad daylight?” Levi snapped. Reiner handed the papers to Hange and they filed out and back into the ruined building. Levi led them through the doorway.

There was a click. He blinked, eye adjusting to the change in lighting, and stared.

* * *

 


	29. Secrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honestly i don't even have an excuse??? i wrote this entire trash fic in like, two months, and then i started posting it and then i'll just periodically forget about it?
> 
> note that it's part of a series now, there's an incomplete sequel i also started years ago.
> 
> kudos to the lord of eggs for always calling my attention back to this fic!!!!!! u rock my pal, i and anyone with interest in this owes you!!!!!!

There was a rifle pointed at Levi. He frowned. It was actually aimed at the air slightly above him, but by less than an inch. He tilted his hand.

“What the fuck,” he said. It was the Military Police. In _Shiganshina_. And, with a rifle slightly above Levi’s hear, was Jacques.

Catching his error, Jacques lowered the gun. He’d clearly remembered Levi as taller.

“Levi,” he said. “You are under arrest for-”

Had Jacques seriously followed Levi to _Shiganshina_ to re-arrest him for Eren’s death?

Levi hit the gun away. “What the fuck?” he repeated. Connie, Sasha, and Bertholdt were all handcuffed. Krista burst out of the building from behind him and someone grabbed and handcuffed her before she realized what was happening.

Jacques caught sight of Annie. “ _You_!”

Annie blinked.

“What are you doing with them? Salute your commanding officer!”

Annie raised an eyebrow.

“I’ll deal with you later! Hitch!”

“Aye-aye,” a girl said. Levi recognized her from the day he’d been put on trial. She approached Annie with a pair of handcuffs.

“Hey!” Reiner said, stepping forward. “Don’t do that!”

“Arrest him too!” Jacques lowered his gun. “This- this is _treason!_ ”

“We’re on an expedition,” Levi said.

“You’re a criminal!”

“Who’s on an expedition. What the fuck are you doing here?!”

“We’ve been _tailing you_ ,” Jacques announced, dramatically.

“Wow,” Hange gave Levi a glance. “What? I’m impressed.”

“So you should be. We’ve fought off countless Titans, you know. Wolves, too. But it will be worth it when justice is upheld!”

“Riight.”

At this point, Reiner and Annie had both been arrested and someone was telling a handcuffed Ymir that if she threatened to kill him one more time he’d have to knock her out, because it was really was getting annoying, no, nothing would happen to Krista, _stop threatening to kill me_.

“You Scouts are finished,” Jacques said.

“Not yet we’re not!” Jean shouted, and charged him. Jacques sidestepped and he fell over.

This wasn’t good. Mikasa unsheathed her sword.

Then everything happened so quickly Levi barely even registered what was happening. There were footsteps. A flash. And Jacques fell forward.

Armin dropped to the ground. “Oh my- are you okay?”

“Armin!” Jean shouted.

“Jean!”

“Armin!”

 _“Mikasa_!”

“You’re _alive!”_ Mikasa dove toward him.

“Armin!”

“Reiner!”

“Armin!”

“Hange!”

“Armin!”

“Krista!”

“Armin!”

“Annie!”

“Armin!”

“Sasha!”

“Armin?”

“Connie!”

“Armin?!”

“Ymir!”

“Armin!” snarled Jacques, standing up. “You are under arrest for-”

Mikasa charged him and, rather than hit him, grabbed his rifle and pulled.

“How dare you!” Jacques shouted, wrestling with it. “Try to- steal my- my rifle- this is a sacred weapon-”

Mikasa wrenched it away and pointed it at him.

“Aim your guns at her!” shrieked Jacques. _“Treason! From all of you! All of the Scouts-”_

Several rifles were instantly pointed at Mikasa. Armin gave Ymir a look and she shook her head.

 _What the fuck?_ Levi thought.

Armin nodded at Ymir and she shook her head harder.

“Well _they_ can’t do it!”

“Shut up!”

Armin and Ymir now seemed to be having a separate conversation.

“Ymir,” Armin said. “I really _think_ you should show them what you can _do_ -”

“I really think _you_ should shut your _mouth-”_

_“Ymir-”_

_“Armin-”_

“This is kind of a _situation-”_

She glared at him.

“Look, it’ll work out!”

“Can someone arrest this kid?” Jacques said. “Please?”

“Fucking fine,” Ymir said, lifted her cuffed wrists. She gave Krista a look. “Hey, you. Remember your promise, okay?”

Krista frowned, looking confused.

Ymir bit into her hand, and the world filled with smoke.

Levi coughed, waving it away from in front of them, his stomach sinking.

“What’s this?” Hange murmured from behind him.

“Jesus fucking christ!” someone yelled.

He made out a tall, hulking figure.

_Oh no._

“Oh my god!”

“She’s a shifter!” one of the police yelled.

_“Fuck!”_

“Jesus fucking christ!” someone yelled again. It sounded like Reiner.

“Mikasa!” Armin whirled around, the smoke beginning to clear. “Get the keys! I saw them on the leader!”

She nodded and took off at a sprint and Jacques turned before she tackled him. She jumped up with the keys and rushed over to Annie to uncuff her, then Reiner, then Krista, then Sasha, Bertholdt, Connie, Donovan, and Jean.

“Ha ha!” Jean said. “Bet you weren’t expecting that!”

“Were you?!” Hange coughed.

“No! Definitely not!”

Ymir picked up Jacques-“Let go of me! Traitor!”- and threw him. His voice spiralled off into the distance.

The squad of police exchanged looks, and one of them began to back up.

“Yeah!” Jean said. “That’s _right!”_

Hitch whirled around and bolted, and the squad followed suit. Within five minutes they were all out of sight. Ymir’s Titan form crumpled over, and Levi could now make out it’s ragged hair and thin body.

There was a brief moment of silence, then Reiner charged.

“Reiner!” Armin said. Reiner unsheathed his sword, hopped up on the Titan’s neck, and started hacking at her skin and yelling at her. For a minute, that was the only noise.

“How did you know she was a Shifter?” Krista asked.

“Oh,” Armin said. “ _That._ When our squad was attacked, she transformed and tried to fight of the Titans. I promised her I wouldn’t tell anyone.”

“Ymir!” Reiner shouted. “Get the fuck out here!”

“What’s his deal?” Jean asked.

Bertholdt staggered over and started calling to him. Reiner had created a sizeable hole in the neck. He tossed his sword aside and wrenched Ymir out.

She opened her eyes, and he punched her in the face.

Ymir fell down onto the ground and started to get up. Reiner raced towards her.

“You bitch! You- _you piece of shit! You literal piece of- I don’t even know_ what _to call you!_ You fucker!”

“Reiner!” Bertholdt grabbed his arm. He shook him off and pulled Ymir off the ground to hit her again.

“What the _hell- what the hell_ what the- _hell-”_

Krista bolted over. “Get off of her!”

“Reiner!” Levi shouted. “Stop attacking Ymir!”

Reiner whirled around. _“She ate somebody! She ate someone! That’s how she got them!”_

“... What?”

 _“You ate Marcel!_ ” Reiner shrieked.

“I’m done,” Levi said. “I’m so fucking done. Does everyone in the 104th have some stupid dark secret? Do we need to have a sharing circle?”

“Reiner, _get off of her_!”

Bertholdt managed to wrench Reiner off of Ymir, and Krista pulled her back before stepping in front of her. Reiner scowled at Ymir.

“Hey,” Hange said. “Maybe we should find shelter before daytime? Yes?”

Reiner scowled and nodded, and stopped trying to shake Bertholdt off of him. Krista dropped Ymir. “You’re right.”

“Let’s fucking go then,” Levi said.

“Yeah,” Krista said. “Okay.”

Ymir wiped her mouth. “Hey, Krista,” she started.

Krista turned and walked away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow ymir's a shifter bet none of u expected that  
> how did armin survive?????? tune in next time

**Author's Note:**

> Other chapters are much, MUCH longer. Aren't you oh-so-excited to learn how this mission which I will ENTIRELY gloss over will go?


End file.
